Daughter in law with my Grandson

Grobags?
When I lived in the UK, I grew tomatoes in them.
They were neat bags of potting mix & compost and you just slit them down the middle and popped your vegies or flowers in.

Now it seems, you can even plant children in a Grobag

It is dangerous to swaddle a baby at any age. Baby just needs nails cutting...simple.

you could mention it to her health visitor?

I think this is a really bad idea. It will be classed as a report of concern. And the OP has most likely made some mention of it before which will make it obvious who has reported them and any relationship they have will be over then. I wouldn't forgive someone doing that to me.

It's just a case of needing nails cut, which the OP could casually mention in a 'oh, those are a bit sharp, he's scratched me' and it's done.

It obvious from subsequent posts that the OPs other 'concerns' are just criticisms.

you could mention it to her health visitor? assuming she has one..or buy some mittens........

I loved the baby sleeping bags. It was the first thing I bought my DS and DiL when their little one was born.

@Jaye53

Poor wee mite. Bound up and in the dark .can't scratch.

This is just a ridiculous comment. He's not a 'poor wee mite' as he's not 'bound up in the dark'. He's in a baby sleeping bag, which is just a bit like a sack with shoulders. His arms are free. He's not even being swaddled. And lots of babies sleep better in the dark, if it helps them nap better that's a good thing. Sleep is essential for brain development. I agree with a pp. The OPs DIL just does things different to how the OP wants and the OP is looking for things to complain about as it's not being done her way.

If he's going to sleep in a Gro-bag that isn't being swaddled.
His arms are out and free.

My DD had child 7months ago; she was advised by midwives, HV etc. that swaddling is not recommended now.

Firstly, to be swaddling an 8 month old is cruel in my opinion but obviously you need to tread carefully here. Secondly, standing by and saying, doing nothing on the grounds of “not my baby” is wrong. I know this isn’t a neglect or cruelty case but wrapping a baby of that age in swaddling sheets means he can’t move and could overheat. Personally I couldn’t, in all conscience, not say anything.

He could be too hot and swaddling will make it worse. Scratching may be due to eczema, allergy to a food, material, chemical all exacerbated by heat.

My rule of thumb is this.....Proverbial tongue remains bitten unless GC's life is in imminent peril.

She it sounds a bit weird to me. Black paper on windows and swaddled in a bag. No wonder the child wants to escape.
Carefully 'tearing' the nails is ok when babies are tiny as the nails are thin and tear easily.
Minding your own business is hard but it's best to keep your opinions to yourself if you want a decent relationship in future.

MissAdventure
Amazing that we all survived.

Daughter in law? That’s a minefield to me! If she doesn’t ask for advice Id stay mum.

Poor wee mite. Bound up and in the dark .can't scratch. Needs nails cutting

I remember my Nan, grabbing my daughters bottle, taking a big swig, and saying "Well, no wonder she won't drink it!".
Then she put 2 spoons of sugar in it, tasted it again, before giving the baby it.

I’m sure this is not the case but it does come across as though you are always subconsciously looking for things to jump in and criticise your DIL as a mother. I am unclear about what the ‘swaddling’ initially mentioned entails but the sleeping arrangement of blackouts and gro bag sound on a par with the practice of all the young mums I know. Maybe try and remember those things she is doing well with her child whom she loves and then take a step back.

GP's place is in the wrong. I was given advice, usually conflicting, by DM, DMIL and DGMIL.
She last knew all about babies and told me that back in her day 1930s, babies were put inside cages way up high outside tenement windows, to get maximum sunlight , to prevent rickets and TB.
I do hope your GS stops scratching soon. There is this cream......

I was going to mention the 'core temperature' …..
DD2's arms were always cold as her grobag was 'arm-free' but apparently her 'core temperature' was fine.

I think its absolutely right if something potentially dangerous is going on.
I'm not sure if it is, though? I'm confused now about whether the baby is swaddled or 'bagged'.

Sorry Pinky but definitely not your business. My dd puts dgs of 2 years in grobag and he has blackout blinds which is what HV told her to do. A lot of things are done differently now. Do not speak to son behind dil back. Do not undermine dil. If you want a good relationship with your dgc then bite your tongue. Be supportive of dil she loves her baby and is doing what she believes is next for child. The only reason to ever say anything is if you genuinely think baby so being abused. Read up on modern parenting so it is less of a shock to you. There are dgp on here who are banned from seeing their own dgc. Don't do or say anything to undermine dil and ds or you could find yourself joining the banned group.

What exactly is your grandson scratching? Is it his face? It sounds like the rest of him is covered (grobag & swaddle) so not necessarily eczema. Just simple nail trimming would be the way to go. But im not sure getting involved is the right thing unless you've been asked for your opinion. It doesn't always end well.....

I used to fret about my grandsons being chilly.
I would touch their little bare arms and say "oh this baby is cold, you know".
Daughter would put her hand under their vest and say "Their core temperature is fine, they're ok".. (and sometimes give me a 'look')

Allgoodnamesaregone
I am so sorry to hear about your DGS.

When our DGC were babies I remember my friend's daughter, who had her own little one the same age, saying that 'babies are kept too warm these days'. As she is a consultant paediatrician we all listened to her advice. I don't remember keeping the central heating on overnight unless it was an extremely cold night.

The black out on the windows is not a bad idea. My DD10 found it very difficult to nap in a light room.
I'd be worried about the swaddling from the overheating point of view though. Having lost a grandson to cot death at 3 months I'm very aware of all the dos & don'ts for that.
I'd also wonder why he is scratching and want to look into that.
All that said...he is not your baby & you don't want to come across as interfering. With my own daughters I was careful what I said, & how I phrased it....until we lost Jack...after that if my other daughter didn't take the baby's coat off as soon as they came in I'd take it off...but 2bh, every one in my family was very savvy after Jack. (We were pretty clued up beforehand too, & his parents were doing all the recommended things)
If I do want to say anything I usually make it a question..."do you think...?"
Oh, until my 2 youngest told me their mams were not reading them bedtime stories, just before they were due to start Reception last September...I've been an early years teacher for 20 years...I told my girls straight to make sure they read to the little ones every night. My DD10 & I still read together most nights.