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Daughter in law with my Grandson

(103 Posts)
PINKY57 Thu 10-Jan-19 18:16:14

Hi all
I need some advice, I have an 8 month old grandson who scratches himself at night, instead of cutting his nails every few days my dil has started to swaddle him again,I am under the impression that at his age this should not be done, how do I tell her this.

Luckygirl Thu 10-Jan-19 18:20:13

DIL and her son - Her son, her decision. If she asks for advice then give it.

paddyann Thu 10-Jan-19 18:26:48

buy her some scratch mitts? But be prepared to be told its none of your business .

EllanVannin Thu 10-Jan-19 18:28:21

Sounds a bit old-fashioned like the Chinese binding their feet but unless you notice that the scratches look angry then I wouldn't say anything.

MissAdventure Thu 10-Jan-19 18:30:58

I thought swaddling was considered a 'no-no' these days?
I can't keep up. Maybe its ok now.

kittylester Thu 10-Jan-19 18:38:19

Swaddling is currently in missa but maybe not next week! grin

Welcome if you are new pinky

MissAdventure Thu 10-Jan-19 18:40:52

Oh, its like the okey cokey.
In out, in out!!

Lily65 Thu 10-Jan-19 18:42:36

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MissAdventure Thu 10-Jan-19 18:43:11

We have a psychic in our midst!

MawBroon Thu 10-Jan-19 18:45:07

DIL and her baby surely?

PINKY57 Thu 10-Jan-19 19:30:46

Yes, I understand its her baby, but I have spoken to a midwife friend of mine, and she told me swaddling is only for new born babies and must be stopped when baby starts moving.

Jalima1108 Thu 10-Jan-19 19:35:35

Swaddling is supposed to help a baby feel more secure and stops very tiny infants from suddenly waving their arms in a reflex action (and perhaps hitting themselves in the eye etc).

However, I would not have thought it is suitable for older babies and certainly not to confine them to prevent scratching.

Any self-respecting 8 month old will soon let his parent know he doesn't like it so you won't have to tell her Pinky!!
And will probably pull off scratch mittens too.

She'll learn.

Grammaretto Thu 10-Jan-19 19:38:16

I would have found it inpossibke to swaddle a baby after the first few weeks. Babies are like mini Houdinis.

Maybe he has excema and should see a doctor. Poor wee thing .

MissAdventure Thu 10-Jan-19 19:40:32

I've just been googling, and swaddling is not recommended for babies after 4-6 months.
I call my grandsons, 'my grandsons' too. smile
I don't know how you're going to tell your daughter in law AND son though.

Jalima1108 Thu 10-Jan-19 19:43:13

Maybe he has excema and should see a doctor. Poor wee thing
I did wonder why he is scratching himself Grammaretto

MissAdventure Thu 10-Jan-19 19:44:12

Probably too hot, being swaddled!

Jalima1108 Thu 10-Jan-19 19:56:45


it is January
Wait until July! then he will really be protesting.

M0nica Thu 10-Jan-19 20:17:08

My DGC scratched because they had eczema. When it cleared up they stopped scratching. I would have thought that would be the first port of call.

Have DS & DDiL discussed the swaddling with a health visitor?

Jalima1108 Thu 10-Jan-19 20:20:23

and getting too hot could make eczema worse

Poor thing!! Itching and unable to scratch!
The thought is making me itch

mcem Thu 10-Jan-19 20:59:58

Swaddling......tiny babies yes. A bit older no! But it's her;baby, not yours.

FarNorth Thu 10-Jan-19 21:08:32

Maybe he flails around so that she has trouble getting his nails cut, so she's had to think of something else?

Has she checked up on why he might be scratching?

Jalima1108 Thu 10-Jan-19 23:10:32

I did hear that you should bite their nails rather than cut them

However, I could never do that; I had a pair of safety baby nail scissors (Mothercare in those days).

MissAdventure Thu 10-Jan-19 23:16:33

I used to bite my daughters nails.
I was something of an expert, having bitten my own for years.

PINKY57 Fri 11-Jan-19 11:05:25

Thank you all for your advice, I will speak to my son, I think he might be getting to hot as she puts him in a sort of a sleeping bag without arms. She also has put black paper on the windows so the poor child is in complete darkness all the time, apprently her Mother's idea.I would like him to get use to sleeping in the daylight like my son use too.

janeainsworth Fri 11-Jan-19 11:14:05

Pinky Get used to the idea that it’s DiLs baby not yours.
Every word you say will be taken down and used in evidence against you.
And if you try to get your son on your side against your DiL’s parenting ideas you are going to drive a wedge between them.
I’m serious. If MiL had ever criticised me to DH that would have been the end of our good relationship.
But my dear MiL was far too sensible for that.