Daughter in law with my Grandson

Oh my goodness, I think you need to reread your last message and imagine it is your MIL... You have decided it is her fault and are speaking to your son, you want him to have light at night time becuase your son did. My husband and I spoke for a evening about how our son would go to sleep and decided on sleep bags, which was a midwives recommendation. Please stop assuming your son is sat in a corner useless while your DIL raises your grandson! It's also not going to end well talking about your DIL to your son, I know everything my MIL says about me and honestly, I've never felt happy to hear her comments from behind my back!

Well, I always did.
Sometimes I got told in no uncertain terms to mind my own business, but I never let that hold me back.

Oh My Goodness ! never give advice via your son ! face to face , but really Never unless asked !!!

Pinky Get used to the idea that it’s DiLs baby not yours.
Every word you say will be taken down and used in evidence against you.
And if you try to get your son on your side against your DiL’s parenting ideas you are going to drive a wedge between them.
I’m serious. If MiL had ever criticised me to DH that would have been the end of our good relationship.
But my dear MiL was far too sensible for that.

Thank you all for your advice, I will speak to my son, I think he might be getting to hot as she puts him in a sort of a sleeping bag without arms. She also has put black paper on the windows so the poor child is in complete darkness all the time, apprently her Mother's idea.I would like him to get use to sleeping in the daylight like my son use too.

I used to bite my daughters nails.
I was something of an expert, having bitten my own for years.

I did hear that you should bite their nails rather than cut them

However, I could never do that; I had a pair of safety baby nail scissors (Mothercare in those days).

Maybe he flails around so that she has trouble getting his nails cut, so she's had to think of something else?

Has she checked up on why he might be scratching?

Swaddling......tiny babies yes. A bit older no! But it's her;baby, not yours.

and getting too hot could make eczema worse

Poor thing!! Itching and unable to scratch!
The thought is making me itch

My DGC scratched because they had eczema. When it cleared up they stopped scratching. I would have thought that would be the first port of call.

Have DS & DDiL discussed the swaddling with a health visitor?

it is January
Wait until July! then he will really be protesting.

Probably too hot, being swaddled!

Maybe he has excema and should see a doctor. Poor wee thing
I did wonder why he is scratching himself Grammaretto

I've just been googling, and swaddling is not recommended for babies after 4-6 months.
I call my grandsons, 'my grandsons' too.
I don't know how you're going to tell your daughter in law AND son though.

I would have found it inpossibke to swaddle a baby after the first few weeks. Babies are like mini Houdinis.

Maybe he has excema and should see a doctor. Poor wee thing .

Swaddling is supposed to help a baby feel more secure and stops very tiny infants from suddenly waving their arms in a reflex action (and perhaps hitting themselves in the eye etc).

However, I would not have thought it is suitable for older babies and certainly not to confine them to prevent scratching.

Any self-respecting 8 month old will soon let his parent know he doesn't like it so you won't have to tell her Pinky!!
And will probably pull off scratch mittens too.

She'll learn.

Yes, I understand its her baby, but I have spoken to a midwife friend of mine, and she told me swaddling is only for new born babies and must be stopped when baby starts moving.

DIL and her baby surely?

We have a psychic in our midst!

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Oh, its like the okey cokey.
In out, in out!!

Swaddling is currently in missa but maybe not next week!

Welcome if you are new pinky

I thought swaddling was considered a 'no-no' these days?
I can't keep up. Maybe its ok now.

Sounds a bit old-fashioned like the Chinese binding their feet but unless you notice that the scratches look angry then I wouldn't say anything.