Daughter in law with my Grandson

Wrong thread!
But relevant anyway.

I have never spoken to her about swaddling and she does not do it anymore as gs is 9 months old

I am
You were posting just three weeks ago that your DIL had started swaddling the baby at 8 months old and now doesn't do it any more.
That's one improvement anyway.

Advice is often considered negative when it is not saying what you prefer it to say!

And with that last update a phrase about ‘pots’ and ‘kettles’ suddenly springs to mind!! ??

No cold i haven't disappeared, this was about getting advice not reading negative and rude comments, therefore I don't look anymore on this thread .

Baby sounds perfectly safe and happy, it seems Pinky just doesn’t want to give her son and DIL any credit. For some folks, their AC parenting in any way differently than they did is perceived as a rejection. My guess that is our OPs problem. What my grandmother did, my mother did differently, etc etc. and I’m sure when my children start having babies they will find their own way. You can be a hero and tell DIL and son what fantastic their parenting is; or be viewed as an unwelcome Menace by pushing your (outdated and unwelcome) advice.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Has OP disappeared?

@Beau

Actually I'd say from the OPs posts it sounds as if they baby is sleeping well in the dark room in the day. The 'issue' with that is simply that the OP doesn't like it (and that the suggestion came from her DILs mother). I'm probably wrong but I'm getting the feeling that she hasn't been able to babysit and is blaming it on the baby needing to sleep in a dark room which she doesn't have sorted at her own home. It works for the OPs DIL (& son! He's part of the decision making to, the Op can't just blame her DIL and her mom) so therefore it's not a problem.

The OPs first post was regarding the scratching and swaddling. Later posts have suggested it may be sleeping/gro bags which most parents these days use. Also not a problem (and indeeed as pointed out by a pp, much safer). Funny how the OP hasn't come back since that was pointed out to her.

I don't think there's any 'problem' here other than her not liking how her grandchild is being raised. Hopefully the OP can see now that plenty of other grandparents have felt like this, but realise that they need to allow their children and children-in-law to parent, rather than trying to control how they parent.

OP, if you want a good relationship with your grandchild, you need a good relationship with his mother. Don't ruin it just because she's doing things differently than you would.

no need to be rude now..

You need to but out!

It's none of your concern how the baby sleeps and what they do. Also to go behind her back to her health visitor and DH is completely crossing the line.

Back off

I agree wuth Newmom regarding sleeping in the day. No child should be left to sleep in a pushchair - unless it's more like a pram that goes flat.
Is a pod part of the car seat? If so, it is dangerous to allow a small baby to sleep in one as their head can go forward and block their airway. I am surprised that a nursery would do this.
If a child nods off when being pushed in a pushchair a parent or carer is there all the time to check their sleeping position.
At DGS' s nursery they had little beds or cots for daytime naps - I can even remember sleeping on a camp bed when I was at nursery all those years ago.

This is not your baby there are times when we have to stand back.

This is the Grobag. It's safer than blankets as it can't be pulled over the child's face. It's in no way swaddling.

This terrifies me! The thought of it is so claustrophobic and poor little thing can't communicate this. Reminds me of when I went for a spa treatment once which involved wrapping me in foil and immersing me in a warm bath for 40 minutes - my arms at my side, so 'swaddled'. I had to scream for the lady to get me out!!!

Not sure that the OP's DIL has a way that works for her yet, hence all the worry and drama and trying all sorts - but no doubt eventually they'll find something that suits so OP can stop worrying on baby's behalf - I do feel sorry for the OP though as everyone has been very critical and really it's hard to see new parents floundering around and having to zip your mouth and sit on your hands ?

Should have been more clear, I meant 'no nursery I looked at'. DD napped in her pushchair at the time but they wouldn't allow it so we had to get her to nap in the cot instead. Despite her napping in the cot in a dark room now she will still nap in her pushchair in the daytime when out. The benefit is that sleeping in a dark room in her cot gets her to nap for 2-3 hours in the day. Whereas in the pushchair in the light it's an hour and a half and then she's overtired in the day. She still sleeps 12 hours at night either way.

People do whatever works best for their child. Clearly the OPs daughter in law has a way that works. The problem here is the OP thinks her way is better and wants thinks done her way.

Sorry, that's not the case at all - my DGS (now 2 and just promoted to toddler class) has been going to the baby class of the nursery of an expensive private school since the age of 4 months and at the pre-start home visit we were asked whether we preferred him to nap in a pushchair or a pod at nursery. At home he always naps outside in the pushchair as I always walk him to the local shops when his nap is due, so we chose the pod for nursery because like the OP we believe it's a great advantage to be able to drop off to sleep anywhere.

All this blackout nonsense is all very well but what happens when they go to nursery? They have to sleep in a pod or pushchair in daylight so ?

Actually every nursery I looked at for DD had a blacked out room with cots in and in the older rooms they shut the curtains and turn lights off in the room when the children nap. No nursery would allow children to nap in pushchairs due to safe sleeping guidelines. This was only 6 months ago.

Pinky, as long as the sleep bag has the correct tog rating, he should be fine temperature wise. They are mainly tog 1 for the summer and tog 2.5 for the winter but I managed to find tog 1.7 for my DGS because SIL has the bedroom far too hot for 2.5 and DGS kept waking up. He just thinks hotter is always better so I intervened unobtrusively. I understand your concern but there's nothing you can do. All this blackout nonsense is all very well but what happens when they go to nursery? They have to sleep in a pod or pushchair in daylight so ?
So don't say anything, life will show them what was right or wrong, soon enough he will be telling them what he wants on his bed and whether he wants a nightlight ?

Pinky 57.. She should see a doctor it's not natural to scratch especially at night time... maybe he is too hot or there could be an underlying condition..

I imagine your DIL gets current views on infant care from her friends / other new mums she met at NCT or similar, from health care professionals, from the internet, from current baby books... as far as my DD is concerned, my experience of baby care for my own children was 30-odd years ago and she has no interest in my views if they don't concur with hers.

I think ‘bagging’ a baby up for their cot is fantastic. They are snug with a long sleeve vest and pj bottoms inside it. Nothing else in the cot. A wrap around duvet! Our 2y old sleeps like a log in hers.

Sorry pinky but you need to butt out here. Not your baba! Least said and all that.

MissAdventure you made me giggle about the nail biting!
?

Ah, I can still see sweet little DD2 in her grobag

Then she emerged as a teen who did not understand what no meant!
She's a teacher now, guess she got her comeuppance

You put them in as a baby, and they emerge as a teen.