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offering to help with a credit card bill

(103 Posts)
Telly Tue 22-Jan-19 08:22:55

You must of course say nothing. They are responsible adults in well paid work so how they manage their finances is up to them. In your post you seem to assume that this is the solely due to your Dil who you also refer to as daffy. I would suggest that airing your disappointment at how they run their lives will do nothing to improve your relationship. I would leave well alone.

janeainsworth Tue 22-Jan-19 08:18:56

Keep quiet.
It’s their business. If they have a well paid job and a medium paid job, they should be able to pay it off themselves before too long. Seeing how much interest the credit company charge may be a salutary lesson for them.
And don’t blame your DiL!

Nannarose Tue 22-Jan-19 08:10:48

I would like your opinions. At my son's yesterday, looking at some paperwork he had asked my opinion on, I saw, inadvertently, some notes he had made for his wife about their finances. They are paying off a £5k credit card bill.
I am in a position to offer to pay this off, and then they could pay me back. They know this (discussion about my finances last year) so must have decided not to approach me.
Between them they have a full-time well paid job and a part-time medium paid job. I know of no reason for them to be in this sort of debt. They are not extravagant, but I have had the impression over some years that my DiL is not a good manager of money.
I suspect they haven't come to me, because they know that I have always cut my coat according to my cloth, and saved, which is why I was able to give them a house deposit and have some savings of my own now. They would know my main feeling is disappointment.

The only way I can think of offering is to admit that I saw the paper. I could say, truthfully, 'oh, I didn't read it, but as I picked it up from the floor, I saw reference to a credit card debt, you know I would like to help with that'. But I do know it would embarrass them - and possibly cause an upset as I think that was rather daffy DiL who left it lying around.

So do, I do that, and save them the cost of servicing the debt, or do I keep quiet?