Bloody phones

Glad it's sorted .hope she as blocked number hopefully nothing like this will happen again it's all a learning curve

Call Childline for advice. They are so good.

I wonder if your GD should get in first and send an appropriate apology? something along the line of 'things got out out hand, sorry if if you are upset'. It might be a way forward?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

In the past the two girls would have had words in the playground and that would probably have been that, oh the joy of the written word. I would certainly block the other girl, certainly a lesson learnt. Hope everything calms down.

Don’t be overly anxious OP. Because this is, sadly, so common there are lots of none judgemental places your gd could go for help in school. Her IT teacher for one.

I'm with Patsy70. Please make sure her mother knows. You can't go behind the mother's back. You need to explain to DGD that what she says to you is like talking to mummy and that she is safe, even if either of you gets cross about something you both love her and will sort out problems she has.
Maybe you could prepare her mum beforehand? I don't think it's betraying your DGD. You can't keep secrets on behalf of a child not of this kind. Her best interests have to lie with her parents knowing what has happened.
The problem with the texting is that people feel detached from the consequences. Children experiment and dare themselves to do things they would never do in an immediate situation. They feel as if it is not quite real when writing it on a text. The two girls have to learn their lesson and make sure they really understand all the aspects of what they have done. However, I would not get too distressed as their Parent/Grandparent, the child has told you, it is over, and it did not come to anything beyond this distress. A good lesson to learn early in fact. Her mum might say she will monitor her DD's phone more regularly - do spot checks.
OooH I hate what happens to our youngsters with phones and the modern trends...!

ReadyMeals
Oh I wish this forum would colour all the posts from the OP like they used to

Me too! I have difficulty reading the screen most days - migraine makes print/black lines jerk about. I try to see what has happened....

colournanny. Glad things have been sorted out.
Please explain to DGD that you must tell her mum some things. You are in loco parentis when you have charge of DGD but that means a proper hand-over whereby any important info has to be given to parents. Try and explain to DGD you have no choice. I think she will understand especially if you say you will go to her mum for her or with her.

I am on a tablet and ALL the OP posts are coloured green throughout the post.

What a wise lot you all are Gransnetters, And a Godsend to other Grans with problems they cannot share with anyone else.

Pleased her mum knows, it's only fair that she does. It's a sign of the times, my 14 year old Granddaughter is receiving/sending them all the time One week she'll be friends with someone, the next they can't stand each other, then they're best buddies again. We try to switch off from it, to be honest you're probably better to let your Granddaughter sort thing herself as long as it doesn't get too serious.

I realise that messages and emails can be sent after school and likewise with calls but perhaps we should follow what France do and ban mobile phones at school.
After all, school is for learning and they are a distraction.
If a pupil needs to contact their family urgently they can ask the school to help.
If the family needs to contact the pupil urgently they can contact the school.
Believe it or not we all got by without mobile phones to distract us at school or at work. The schoolkids will also get by.

Colournanny
Mobile phones make it so easy to be unkind for young people but maybe it is a lesson learned early and hope it dies down.

It’s another thing for teachers to have to police banning them in school. Why can’t parents stop the kids taking them in the first place? ?

Just at the end of my primary school days, there was an outburst of note-writing among the girls along the lines of "I'm not going to be your friend because you sat with x at lunch time."

This progressed to snide remarks we'd now regard as bullying and many of the notes were passed in a class of 48 so could be read by the passers-on, which, of course, we did as that was part of the aim of risking doing it in class. One of mine was snatched from the line by a teacher and - although I did not get belted (the usual punishment, which was why it was a risk), I got a severe telling off for my spelling mistakes and had to do the next spelling/dictation exercise using one of those wooden-handled nib pens and ink from the inkwell instead of a pencil which could be rubbed out.

Most of us turned out OK, becoming caring, responsible adults. We all do things we'd rather forget when we are young.

At a funeral recently, the mother of my best friend told me cheerily she'd come across "those horrible notes that youse used to write to each other in school". She couldn't believe how nasty we all were. I remember turning bright red with adult shame and regret.

I feel so sorry for the young people who not only have the right to make childish mistakes, but hold in their hands technology which can be misused at times of teenage passion and/or and used in stark evidence way into their futures.

They are also walking around with easy-use cameras, something that would have messed with our heads 40 or 50 years ago.

I agree with the others here who say it is essential that the parent hears it from home before they hear or see it from the other family or the school. But oh my goodness I am so sorry these children have phones when they are still at the silly note-writing stage.

And my family is just as bad as anybody else's. I don't know what the answer is. I think my age group were lucky.

If a child is seen to be different, not having a mobile phone etc. it actually opens them up to bullying. So a blanket ban on all mobile phones would be better. Then all you have to worry about are the protests from parents.

I wouldn't tell her to block the other child. I would suggest that she sends her another message, saying that the whole thing got out of hand, apologize, and suggest that they both forget the whole affair.
If another abusive message is sent, then is the time to block her.

i don't know what the answer is
Unless it's obscene or threatening, ignore it.
It's exactly the same ( but done by a different method) as we and our children did.

Do schools hold classes in libel and slander as part of social studies? Teaching technology is all very well, but there are still age old social problems that should be ironed out and school is probably the best place, don't you think?

Thanku ladies, my dgd called this other girl & they met up & all is well For the moment!!!!
Honestly no wonder I’ve got grey hair x