Dil and her Mother

dearly

Thank you all for your advice, specially Grannyactivist and Cold, I am feeling much better about this situation now I have had time to think about it, I dreamy love my grandson and would never want to stop seeing him, my son does bring the baby to see me quiet often.

Oh dear PINKY you seem to be having a lot of family issues based on this and your previous threads. I think it is important not to overreact to small annoyances and I think cutting off your GC over babysitting would be a big overreaction.

All you can really do is keep in touch and offer to help out. I remember from one of your previous threads that you were rather critical of your DIL's parenting choices and that you were rather upset that she didn't do things your way. I think it is important that you keep some of your opinions of their parenting decisions to yourself if you want to be a trusted babysitter. Nobody wants a babysitter that criticizes and undermines their parenting.

Also I believe that there was a recent incident where your DH behaved aggressively towards the baby. It is really understandable that your DIL will need some time to calm down and for the dust to settle on what must have been a very scary situation.

It is clear that you have regular contact at swimming and I would not do anything to disturb that. Please try not to get too jealous that she wants her mother's help.

Bibbity I agree with you sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind.The OP is behaving like a spoilt child who wants everything done her way ,would we pander to that spoilt child?

There have been loads of posts by overentitled grannies recently I wonder did they hand over all responsibilty to their mothers or did they bring up their children how THEY wanted.Maybe they should afford the same courtesy to their DIL's .After all they had their time of childrearing and times change so their methods will be out of date .

Or perhaps the OP realised that sleeping bags weren't swaddling. There was a lot of confusion on that thread about whether she meant swaddling or sleeping bags. She disappeared after someone pointed out that the description sounded like a sleeping bag...

Sorry Bibbity perhaps I wasn't clear, I meant you have issues, not particularly on this thread. You are of a generation which doesn't normally come on this thread, you have no contact with your mil and you seem to have a need to be unpleasant. That would appear to show you have some issues. I am simply offering my sympathy to you.

tell not ell or even yell

well, we are trying to ell her in a kind way


obviously the message about not swaddling got through within three weeks - perhaps her DIL is on GN?

What issues could I possibly have over this ? Op is being ridiculous. There is no way to say otherwise.
OP needs to stop being ridiculous or her next post will be on the CO thread wondering why she’ll never see her family again.

She's a very lovely person, always kind to her MIL!

Whoever Jane is Jamila, we must not criticize her! ?

Bibbity You have my sympathy, you clearly have issues to overcome and I don't think coming on here is helping.

One day you may be a mil and look back and reflect on all of this. Wisdom comes with age.

No I don’t want MIL to see this.
She is nothing to do with me, I don’t post personal info on here because I want to remain anonymous ?

Don't criticize Jane for what she did.
Who is Jane?

I have never spoken to her about swaddling and she does not do it anymore as gs is 9 months old

I am
You were posting only three weeks ago that your DIL had started swaddling the baby at 8 months old and now doesn't do it any more.
That's one improvement anyway.

I recognise I am wasting my time Bibbity because you can't see what is so unpleasant about your posts so I will stop trying. I don wonder though why you come on a forum for older people? Are you hoping your mil will see your posts?

She's allowed to see her mother as much as she wants. Why on earth should she have to not see her (even everyday if she wishes) because you might not like it.

If you're not getting to see the baby enough, why not take it up with your son? He's the parent as well, why should all the blame go to your DIL? (And I say this as someone who gets on well with their MIL, so no MIL hating here).

Also, threatening to refuse to see your GS is ridiculous. You'll be the only one losing out there. People complain all the time when DILs use GC as weapons against GP, by threatening to not spend time with him because the other nan sees him more you would be no better (or worse really, as you must see him often enough anyway as you say you take him swimming!)

I am not biased against this MILs.
I can see where this story goes and am trying to stop the OP being so ridiculous that she ruins her relationship with her family!!

Hmmm I go by urban Dictionaries definition

Snowflake
A very sensitive person. Someone who is easily hurt or offended by the statements or actions of others.

This has nothing to do with politics. Snowflakes can be liberal or conservative. Whether it is a compliment or an insult is a matter of opinion and depends on the context.
Don't criticize Jane for what she did. She's a snowflake and you'll only upset her.

Really Pinky ????

Because your DiL asked her own Mother to babysit you're thinking about not seeing her or your grandchild again????

I'd walk over hot coals to see mine but because you feel slighted you'd give up the chance to spend time with them?

Im sorry you feel slighted but that's on you. It is reasonable that she asks her mother especially given some of your history with her. I suggest you work on that relationship first , maybe then you'll be asked more too.

That explains so much Bibity. I have been wondering why someone of your age chooses to post on a forum for older people, although of course you are welcome. It explains why you are so biased against mils but does not explain why you have to be so unpleasant to us. It is rather sad that you feel the need to come on here though.

Do you agree with Wiki?

You mean my MiL who’s been CO by her son and we haven’t seen in 2 years?

Bibbity this is what Wiki has to say about the snowflake generation

"The term snowflake has been used to refer to children raised by their parents in ways that give them an inflated sense of their own uniqueness"

Would you agree?

Bibbity, It is not what you say, but the way that you say it.

However you do have my sympathy, we do seem to have a lot of threads at the moment from grandmothers overreacting to trivial incidents that most families do not even notice or just accept as the daily rough and tumble of family life.

We also have threads from grandmothers with deep and difficult problems but that is something completely different.

Bibbity is it because you have a wonderful mil and can't understand those who don't?