my heart broke today....

I don’t read any comments from Lily. Without fail she is rude and arrogant using her very skewed slant on life to criticise others attempting to undermine them. I can only imagine she is very bitter and unhappy and is hoping to reduce others to the same sad state. IMO she is wasting her vitriol on this site as the majority are open minded and tolerant and able to see through her virtue signalling.

liking a performer or actor who is part of the BaME community does not stop a person being racist!
Anyone seen Green Book?

Skin colour is the result of interactions between many genes so your other GC may be fair with several different gene combinations. All the genes involved are found naturally in all ethnicities, it's just that ethnic groups have different proportions of each gene involved. That's why we are all the same species.

I have enjoyed the reactions of teachers, new acquaintances, etc. and we have all had many laughs at the looks on faces of people who see me (pale), my DD (brown) and my DH (pale) together and are introduced as a family. Join in the fun. People who are worth knowing don't worry, they are just curious. Your GS is a person, as are the rest of us. Don't let the odd unfortunate incident worry any of you.

Incidentally, our DD was fostered 40 years ago - many years of amusement for our family!

As somebody with 1 mixed race brother ....(all rest of us ‘white anglo’s)...don’t you lot get your knickers in a twist. Anything ever derogatory said to my brother and we’d all be in a scrap ..... you’re making a proper fist at an old fashioned scrap playground scrap. It was an ‘unfortunate’ remark to say ‘Sabu from the jungle)....not racist. I’ve lived with and seen racism close up...this isn’t it.

To highlight what one feels is a racist comment is not sad or nasty. It is part of the governments expectation as part of British values.

Lily, I find your comments quite sad. Why do you feel the need to be so nasty ? Perhaps your life is difficult or you find it hard to express yourself in a kind way but people on this site do not deserve to be spoken to in the way you do.
Please try to be a bit kinder and gentler and you might find that it feels better than angry remarks.p

Bit shocked that some of these messages haven't been taken down. Or am I missing ' irony ' perhaps?

Morgana my grandchildren are the same as yours and wanted to be white like mummy. We did all the positive suggestions that have appeared on this posting and constantly told them how beautiful they are and I always say how I wish I had skin like theirs. I do hope you and your family can find positivity with your beautiful grandchild xx

Sorry... meant EV and not OP

I have just looked back on this thread. I am shocked that so many have dismissed Niobes comments out of hand. She is Indian, has heard the name Sabu used against her and others as a racist slur. To add 'from the jungle' is also somewhat stereotypical and carries all kinds of negative attitudes for those who have been at the sharp end of racism

If the OP had wanted to draw attention to the type of good looks her DGS has there are many current Indian /Pakistani actors/ celebs that she could have named instead of referring back to films from a more racist/ stereotypical era. "The first Indian actor to make it big in Hollywood Sabu was restricted to stereotypical roles of Indians."

There are some good books for children that help with this. Rachel Isadore has done versions of fairy stories with beautiful illustrations of black princesses etc. Then there are books written to give black children confidence. Lots of story books and others like 'Young, Gifted and Black'. I think that they help children of that age. If you just google 'ethnic books' there are some terrific ones including some by people like Fiona Benjamin about having family of different colours.

Lily, what has been said is neither racist nor objectionable but you are. This is certainly not a racist comment so why are you saying it is ? This is clearly a stunning, much loved little boy whose Great Grandma hs chosen to describe as she did.
Niobes remark was not necessary either, why the harshness today ?

I wouldn’t make an issue of it at all, as I think it can give the impression that skin colour is important ( especially as the child may have forgotten all about it by now!)

Our granddaughter is a lovely mix of our daughter and our much loved Indian son in law. Colour has never been an issue. She is aware she looks more like Daddy and his family and proud of that part of her makeup. Perhaps your granddaughter can be encouraged to appreciate her "difference" and how lucky it is to have two identities. In Birmingham it is pretty much the norm now so not given a second thought. It may be more difficult if she doesn't have many mixed race friends. Hope this helps.

No, I don’t think it is, kwest. Why do you think it is? (Serious question).
Morgana, I cant add to the good advice already given by many other posters.

I wonder if she became aware of her colour from children at nursery or pre-school. Just tell her that many people would like to have skin her colour, and pay a lot of money to be a little darker.

coloursofus.com/picture-books-about-mixed-race-families/

Your DGD may just need to see herself reflected more in everything around her. It really depends on how everyone around her responds to her. Does she live within a bi-racial family or is she the only family member who has darker skin?
I agree it may not a deep seated angst but maybe an observation that she loves mummy and wants to be her. Neither of my DDs or DGDs look like me or their mothers, we all have very different hair and colouring.
However do not completely dismiss the idea that she has picked up on any negative attitudes somewhere. It would be awful not to acknowledge that and to reassure her.

No, kwest It is not getting ugly, it has stayed as a pleasant and supportive discussion, with just a little reaction from a couple of posters who are sensitive because of their own history. Don't make the conversation out to be what it isn't!

My Goodness, this is getting ugly. We are all equal. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Morgana, it is difficult to answer your grandchild's question. I just wonder if somebody maybe at a toddlers group may have said something to make her aware? I remember reading in a newspaper about a little brown girl who put bleach on her skin. I suggest that your daughter should cultivate friends who are a similar colour to her daughter so that she can see that being brown is a natural thing and perfectly OK in this country, at least to most (not sadly in America.)
My husband was of Indian origin and he was very good looking, as are both my children, married to white English people, and all my grandchildren . One of my grandsons takes after me, fair skinned and reddish hair, another grandson is fair and was white-blond at first but now had brown hair, one granddaughter has brown hair and grey eyes, and the other has black hair and creamy complexion.
My daughter was teased at school, called names, and she asked me why I had married my husband instead of a man with a pink face. I think she is still embarrassed about being half Indian. But her husband told her that Indian girls are the most beautiful in the world.
Its all genetic and one day everyone will all look the same.

I'd agree with those who say just to tell your granddaughter that we are all unique and she is beautiful just the way she is and special to you all. I'm not mixed race but have always looked different from my immediate family - they were all blonde and lighter-skinned; I have very dark hair and a slightly darker skin tone - I accepted this was just the way I looked and I'm sure your granddaughter will too.

Oh, EllanVannin, As a youngster I always kind of wished I had green or violet coloured eyes - whenever I read stories when the characters had striking eye colour I used to wish the same for myself instead of what I considered to be boring brown. I hope your great grandson learns to accept and embrace his looks - same advice as to the original post - to just remind him of his uniqueness and how special he is to everyone that loves him.

My Godfather and his wife who both had dark hair had a daughter with red hair. (Some less charitable observers noted that the milkman had red hair too!) It happens a lot and often we don't know what genes are present that are not expressed for many generations so we are suddenly surprised by what seem out of place. Red hair is a typical case as the gene is recessive so is only expressed if both parents carry the gene.

She is watching to see how you react.

Hopefully she didn’t see you reach for your tablet to find the answer.

Nothing like an outbreak of virtue signalling by denouncing others as racist! It's as if Ealing Comedies adapted 'Nineteen Eighty Four'.

Returning to the OP - we will have very public role models of mixed race parents in Harry and Meghan - it will be interesting to see what features come to the fore in their soon to be born baby. This will be an example to show to your grand-daughter - eg the child may have white skin and ginger hair and not look like its mother or darker skin and hair and not look like its father or any combination of the above! Everyone matters regardless of their skin colour and that is the message to reinforce but I appreciate how confusing it must be for a young child to understand why they look different from their mother and perhaps helpful to reinforce the non-physical characteristics that they do share.