my heart broke today....

Thank you all for your lovely messages. Great suggestions. Her dad is of Asian heritage and is fairly dark skinned. DD is very pale skinned. Both the children are a lovely pale creamy colour at the moment. We shall continue to praise them and now that they have moved to a more multicultural area, hopefully they will be able to fit in better. Thanks to you all.

As long as your granddaughter is told how lovely she is in how she looks and with her personality she will be fine.
I was always told I had a face like the back of a bus, looked like a chimpanzee ( I am white before anyone says anything) and lots of other names by my brother and I hate my looks, always say I am just dead ugly,never look in mirrors, shop windows etc, have to be caught by surprise as I hate cameras and hate my voice so don’t let anyone make her feel bad about herself

Shirleythick, I love the dolls solution!

NancyC1 - Love the suntan reference!

About "thowbacks" to a distant ancestor - Actually, people, if a different complexion or hair color, etc. comes through, all of a sudden, doesn't it generally come from both sides of the child's family?

Morgana, I think you've been given a lot of good advice here. GD's comment was, most likely, a momentary thing that she has already forgotten about. Regardless, most important thing, IMO, is to make sure she knows you think she is beautiful and also compliment other traits she has (smart, talented, etc.) so all the emphasis isn't on the physical. How does dd feel about the comment?

About Sabu - Imo, if someone uses it in a racist way, the racism is in their heads, not in the term, itself. I don't think EV intended it that way.

Then again, if a term has been used historically as a racist slur and one knows about it, imo, it's not a good idea to use it. If you didn't know that before, EV, but now you do, I hope you find a different comparison to make or just say ggs is "dark," etc.

I think it's normal for him to have noticed that he looks different than the rest of the family and asked about it, EV. How do you know his behavior at school has anything to do with that?

crazyH I have Portuguese heritage too amongst quite a few others that I know of.

Meghan isn’t the first British Royal to have African heritage. Queen (Sophie) Charlotte was the grandmother of Queen Victoria and she was the second British Royal of African heritage.

Funny how it’s never mentioned and I strongly believe many people have more mixed heritage than they realise.

As far as I know we all came Out Of Africa and there is only one race, the Human Race.

It’s time to drop the black, white, mixed race labels. IMO if we bring up future generations without mentioning the colour of people’s skin, the world might in the future be less preoccupied about how everyone looks. Young children don’t normally seem to notice that they might have different coloured skin from each other unless it’s pointed out to them.

I was reading a very interesting article about why there is differences in the shades of people’s skin. Basically it’s to do with evolution and vitamin D.. Obviously it’s to do with the climate of where our ancestors ended up and enjoyed reading this information.

I am Portuguese/Asian...my 3 children have married British ...as a result I have 6 children of various skin colours..all, may I add are absolutely beautiful.......we are an interesting bunch.
And may I make a point. In a couple of hundred years, there will be no blue blooded British, not even in the Royal family.

I thought the name "Sabu" was still decidedly a rather derogatory name as a comment on a black person as being a servant or such. Certainly a person of less worth.
I rather doubt that has changed much.

When I was 8 in the 1950's a new girl came to our school. She was the first black child I'd ever met. In all innocence, I asked her "Why is your skin black", and she answered "My mummy left me out in the sun". Perfect answer, there was never a word said about skin colour after that and we didn't even notice it.

I had a best friend in Secondary school, '50s, and now looking at old photos it dawned on me that she was of mixed race. I never noticed it at the time, and doubt if anyone else did.

I remember our son telling us a girl in his class was picking on him when he was about 5 years old. Being in a small village, I didn’t recognise the name, so asked him what she was like. He told me she had ‘ brown hair and a red jumper’. When I was next at school I saw that she did indeed fit that description, but he had omitted to mention the fact that she was very, very black!

Two of my seven grandchildren, aged 7 and 5, are of mixed race. After the Royal wedding a friend of mine asked 7 yr old if she'd seen the first 'mixed' princess. To which she replied 'She's not the first - I am!' They are both always told how wonderful they are, not just in looks, and know they are loved by their parents, grandparents and the wider family. Keep telling her. I really sympathise though as it would break my heart too.

My granddaughter is also mixed race. She noticed she was not white when she was about 3 but she never had any upsets over it. We told her her skin was lovely and much safer than ours in the sun. Her father has the same skin as her and she is ok with that.

It’s common for children of mixed parents to say this. I have worked with and have had friends with children of mixed parentage and at least two of these mums have made the same comment. Their children have asked to be the same colour as them or why aren’t they the same colour. It’s natural for small children to question. It’s nothing to worry about.

What does the typical Brit look like?

Sorry I meant Also when my DD was young...And She was the odd one out...

My beautiful GD is tri racial. I bought her a book Little Leaders Bold women in black history. She is too young to read it yet. But it's there for when questions may be asked later in her life. Also when she was my DD told me her schoolmates were saying things about her skin colour. I told her they were jealous cos their parents had to pay lots of pennies on holidays to be the same colour as her. Her answer was Yes Mummy you're right and we can spend that money on sweets can't we!! Yea well we could but we won't be! Xxx She was the off one out in our blonde haired family now I'm the off one out. And that's just fine. X

When my niece asked my sister this question she reassured her that she was beautiful and very lucky to have that colour skin she also brought her a range of dolls of different races and that helped.

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NanaWilson wrote:
"My four year old DGD said she doesn’t like her blonde hair, she wants pink. It maybe something as simple as that"
Good point.
Don't take it too seriously Morgana. There's much worse to come! .

Perhaps you should start a separate thread Wotl3y?
You may find some help then, your post could be lost on here.

Due to SS cancelling my D visit from my GD. This has taken its toll on my D Mental Health. We are feeling extremely let down. What can I do?

My four year old DGD said she doesn’t like her blonde hair, she wants pink. It maybe something as simple as that

When I was a small child my mother who had some Indian heritage got a pure black kitten she named Sabu. He was a lovely cat I remember well. You could definitely see Indian in my mother but I’m blond with green eyes as are all my descendants (most with blue eyes). 2 of my grandchildren look very Nordic indeed. One day we may be surprised....

An old friend of mine had very dark hair and she had two sisters, one was quite blond and the other had ginger hair, all from the same parents, it is interesting seeing the results of family genes and yes Sabu was gorgeous and a compliment to be likened to him.