Old wedding photos

When moving abroad I went throyghallmy photos and took out those photos that really only meant anything to me and gave the rest and the wedding album from my first marriage to my eldest DD. She and other siblings had a lovely afternoon going through the photos which brought back many happy memories for them. They decided to keep the albums as they were but the loose photos and slides slides my DD had printed and shared them out. If I had taken them with me they may have been lost when whoever clears out our home when we die. Better for them to have them rather than that.

I kept photo’s of my DH first wife just to show my DC when they were older. The first wife shaped the DH/DD we all know and it was important to not erase his past. We looked at them not long ago and he we were saying how pretty she was, and she was (but then so was I 35 years ago?)
Don’t completely erase her mum’s past but be sure they your DD knows they exist.x

Thanks for this comment. Just learned a day ago that son and his wife are divorcing. I’m heartbroken especially for my four year old grandson. Sat in my living room yesterday, where their wedding photo is displayed in all its glory along with their album and many photos of the three of them and the five of us all together - and cried. Have to get myself sorted out I know but the simple dilemma of what to do with the photos paralyzed me. So will continue to keep out the ones of the family since they’ll always be my grandson’s parents as we’ll always be his grandparents and will ferret away the wedding ones.

Photographs are a lovely record of past events. I still have my wedding photographs, even though my marriage sadly ended some years ago, because they have pictures of friends and family all together, sharing a lovely day. The album is safely ‘out of sight’ of anybody but me, but I often get it out to reminisce.

Wedding photos and memorabilia are part of a person and a family's story so don't discard them but sometimes how they are are displayed may need to be considered as life inevitably moves on.

When one of my daughters was meeting family members of the new man in her life she was greeted by a very large framed wedding photo of him and his ex wife in the entrance hall. It had been removed at her next visit.

My other daughter found herself drinking wine from a glass engraved with the names of her fiance and his ex wife, a momento from his first wedding.

I’d keep them. As my dear mum used to say ‘they don’t eat anything’. (Meaning I think - they won’t cost you anything).

Once they’re gone, they’re gone!

Please keep the photos. I married in 1975 divorced 1997. In my anger, he left me for someone he worked with, I put all of our many photos with him on and my wedding album and ring in a bin bag and gave them to him. Oh how I've regretted it!. My adult children, 44, 40 and 35 years would have loved to have seen them. Me too to be honest. All of my aunties, uncles, nan, mum, dad and a few friends have died. Ex has said in the past that he gave the album to his mum and she burnt it lol. Mum and dad had some of our wedding photos but they tore them up. Do keep them.

It’s part of your daughters history. Keep them. She might regret her decision to bin her own photos.

I too have kept DD1's first wedding pictures, though none of the husband. She hasn't told her DD's ( fifteen and twelve) of that marriage. They are not children of that marriage. I will keep them anyway.

This problem has just occurred for me but slightly different. My brother's first marriage photo's are up in my loft which I am clearing in the hope of moving soon. My brother died in 2010.

After his marriage broke up he gave me the album probably because there are some lovely photo's of me and my late Mum on them. I was wondering what to do with them as neither he nor myself have children. I will hang on to it though as the photos of me and my Mum are lovely.

I kept mine. I thought the DGC would like to see them- give them a laugh anyway! What possessed me to have that up-do- well it was very much the 'thing' then!
But to be fair I do get on very well with my first husband & we see each other a lot at GC parties etc- he even gets on OK with Hubby no 2 now- it took a while.

I kept my wedding photos after my divorce. I'm so pleased I did. One of the best, me with my dad outside the church stands on my mantelpiece. It's one of the few photos I have of the two of us when I was grown up, and now he's gone I really tteasure it. Keep the album eventually it may not just be your DGD who appreciates some of the photos. We someimes do things when we feel very bitter that we regret afterwards. And remember although it was her wedding all the family were involved.

I don't know if its superstition but I can't throw photos away, or deface them.
I feel differently about digital images for some reason....

I agree that you can't erase history. In my case, ex and I had 3 children together. When we divorced I cut him out of our wedding photos - giving a Swiss cheese effect. Later on, I had a sudden realisation (at a funeral, so was maybe a bit emotional) that it was wrong to remove the children's father from a legal, documented event. But a daughter has the complete pics too, so that's ok.

It's different if there are no children from the marriage, I think. In OP's situation, I think I would write a letter explaining briefly about that marriage and put it in the album for a future find by grandchildren. Would hide it till they are older. Or just talk to daughter about her feelings on this? People often don't hide previous marriages nowadays. Time has passed, things may be less raw. But it does document your past too, OP.

My parents split up when I was three and subsequently divorced. My father re-married and moved away, so we became estranged. It affected me badly - a bit less so now I am in my 60s. My mother died first, and then my father died about 10 years ago. I inherited a box full of family ephemera as his second wide had died before my father. I was fascinated to pour through it all and felt I was getting to know my father vicariously. However, I then came across what was clearly a wedding photo of my father in a suit with a button hole. The photo had been cut in half, so the side with my mother on was missing. It was so upsetting to see and feel the anger and bitterness that must have led to that action. It still saddens me to think of it. I wish it had been kept whole.

I'd keep some, just as a record of the history of your family, and especially those which include other family members you don't see often. But perhaps get rid of a lot. If you have a special wedding album, take out those few photos you want to keep and put them in your general family albums then throw out the special wedding one - after all you don't want to make it a celebration any longer.

I have a lovely album of my daughter's first wedding and also a video. I don't look at them anymore, but I just keep them. If her daughter ) by her second husband} ever wants to see them she will be welcome. I don't suppose my daughter kept any of the photos. My daughter looked so beautiful all those years ago, and she is still lovely today. I just cannot get rid of those lovely photos and video, which also include pictures of my dear late husband.

I too am divorced, but I have kept my wedding photos as they have pictures of so many people who are no longer here. Including my precious dad and nanny. I think my mum has hers too. As you say it’s all part of the family history.

Keep the album. It is part of your family history

I think it sounds like your storytelling of your daughters first marriage in the photographs are likely being kept by you as they are part of your story too. Our lives with our children are interwoven. I'd respect my daughters wishes to a point by keeping them safe. One day your daughter may want to see them too, or at least understand they are somewhere should she wish to revisit them. In this digital age photographs are rarely kept and yet they capture the moments of who we were at that time. Maybe in time your daughter will want to see who she was to place into context the story of who she was at that time.

I'm 56 and divorced for 20 years. I kept my own wedding photographs, and also the letters and keepsakes from that time. I had a horrendous marriage at the end, with domestic violence being a part of it. I put everything away and now I'm glad I did. In my own life review I look back on these and can get in touch and understand the younger me, with all the hopes and dreams - in a way it helped me grieve - not for the loss of my marriage but for the loss of what I did not get in life. This may sound deep, but I hope it is helpful in some way.

My daughter (31 years) is also the child of that marriage and it is part of her history too. I recognise this is a different situation than the one you are faced with.

My view is that destroying things is sometimes good, but the act of doing it does not 'delete' the experiences from our lives.

I have the album of my younger daughter’s first wedding, cannot distroy it, photographs of so many I care for in it.

I have old photos of my sister’s first wedding nearly 60 years ago and I gave copies to her daughter (from her third marriage). My niece was delighted to see pictures of her mum so young and all dressed up. You can’t erase family history.

I'm a great believer in keeping family records, good or bad.

Hide the album, it's part of your family's past history and once all the emotion involved in the failed marriage is over, it will become interesting.

I only wish I had just one photograph of my wedding.

I'm glad you've decided to keep the album. They are part of your past as well as your DD's, I've kept the photos from my 1st marriage because they contain so many loved ones no longer with me.

I have albums of my daughters first marriage ,I kept them for the children,its good that they know they were born from love and that their parents were happy together .(even though he was a serial cheat just a few years in) Thankfully my daughter and her ex have a very civilised breakup and divorce .They still see each other on the childrens birthdays and he phones her for a chat if he worried about anything.His new wife is a bit of a delicate flower and "cant handle worry" .Its good for the kids to see that even when a marriage didn't work they can still be friends .