Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Should she chip in?

(47 Posts)
Nandalot Sun 14-Apr-19 21:24:07

My DD has been asked by her neighbours to share the cost of replacing the fence between them. (It is their fence). It is still standing but bowing and collapsing in places. It is quite a long garden so several panels needed. She is a single mum with two children. The children are well behaved and never touch the fence or cause aggravation to the neighbours.They neighbours have no children and both work. They texted her to ask ( though she was away) so not available to ask then. I don’t think she should. What do other grans think?

jaylucy Mon 15-Apr-19 11:00:07

If it's their fence, they pay ! Different thing is if it is your daughters and they have decided to change it for whatever reason !

gillybob Mon 15-Apr-19 11:18:42

We have just erected a new fence for DD , which technically I suppose wasn't her responsibility but there was no way the neighbours would have done it or contributed in any way. DD knocked to tell them we would be doing it over this last weekend and they just said "okay, great" .

We did it for our DD so she and her little one can enjoy some privacy in their own garden, that's it really.

Nonnie Mon 15-Apr-19 11:32:54

I agree with those who say a polite response is all that is needed and whoever said no shame in saying she can't afford it.

As already said, it seems there is no legal requirement to have any sort of boundary so it isn't the neighbours' 'responsibility' but it is common practice.

janeainsworth Mon 15-Apr-19 11:39:48

One advantage of making a contribution might be that your DD would have some say in the type and height of the fence.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 15-Apr-19 11:56:04

If as you say it is the neighbours' fence then it is their responsibility to replace it.

In your daughter's place I would contact the neighbours and explain that being a single mother on a tight budget I just cannot afford to contribute, but make quite sure before doing so, that it is the neighbours' fence and entirely on their ground.

Telly Mon 15-Apr-19 11:57:47

They are responsible for their fence, just as she is responsible for hers. No reason whatsoever for her to contribute. So a polite decline is in order here.

chrissyh Mon 15-Apr-19 12:00:31

I'm surprised somebody would put a single parent in this position. I wouldn't help pay for it if I were her as she may find she needs a fence on the other side at some time that she has to pay for. I would just send a polite text saying that I'm very sorry but I just do not have the money to help pay for the fence.

anitamp1 Mon 15-Apr-19 12:39:04

In her position I would just say to them, in the nicest possible way, that I would like to help but really can't afford to.
She is under no obligation to help out, but obviously she won't want to fall out with them.

MandyRaff Mon 15-Apr-19 13:05:56

I agree with NotSpaghetti. It would be polite to decline given the fact she is a single mum but no need to fall out about it. We have just paid half towards our neighbours fence but we can afford it and a better fence benefits us.

Nanny123 Mon 15-Apr-19 13:20:22

We replaced our fence last year as it was badly needing doing, it cost a small fortune and it was our neighbours fence. We checked with them that they were more than happy for us to do it. They are a elderly couple and they offered to pay half. The offer alone was enough, we wanted to replace the fence so we paid for it. I dont think your daughter should pay towards it, she needs to say that unfortunately she cant afford to - I think they will still go ahead and replace it, just trying to see if they can get something towards it.

HootyMcOwlface Mon 15-Apr-19 13:25:12

Our fences are in need of attention but I am sure we don’t own any although I think both our neighbours think they’re ours. One side is an end house so they must think the fence between us is ours as they have the other side, and I think the previous owner here may have replaced it in the past. And the other side is the left of us so would normally be ours, but deeds specifically say there are no “inverted T marks” on our plan, so it isn’t is it?

Saggi Mon 15-Apr-19 14:06:35

She’s under no obligation to help with the cost of new fencing if it’s theirs. It is rather up to her...she might feel she wants to help rather than have a ragged old fence to look at. But certainly not obligated.

BlueBelle Mon 15-Apr-19 14:24:25

bigred if fence costs have to be shared what happens to the person on the end do they have to pay twice??

jocork Mon 15-Apr-19 16:30:43

At my last house - which was a new build - we were told by the developers that all fences between properties were shared and those separating us from common land - a field - were the householder's responsibility. Having a corner plot meant we were jointly responsible for two shortish lengths and fully responsible for a very long length. Thankfully we moved before any became dilapidated. Since moving I've had to replace a few panels on the side I'm responsible for. On one occasion some panels came down in a storm and as they were not visible from the house and it was winter we only knew because our neighbour informed me that they needed fixing. Although he didn't offer to pay anything, he knew I was on my own and on a limited income so he arranged with someone he knew to do the work at 'mates rates' and oversaw the work as I was at work and he worked from home. I knew the cost was entirely my responsibility so I was grateful for the help he did give. My neighbour the other side hasn't properly maintained the fence but my side is hidden by shrubs and trees so I don't care. At the front we are separated by high hedges and that neighbour trims both sides of the hedge as he knows I would struggle. The other side - I suppose technically my responsibility - the neighbour has a gardener who trims their side and the top leaving my side a bit bedraggled. When it gets really bad I get a friend round to tidy it up for me. Thankfully the neighbours get on pretty well here.

eilys Mon 15-Apr-19 16:38:18

Some years ago I did the same they were very happy but the male in the house did it himself, not a good job but I moved shortly afterwards so don’t know if it is still standing

RamblingRosie Mon 15-Apr-19 18:19:04

A few years ago we moved into a new build. The garden sloped down into a corner so we decided to have a retaining wall built to level it out. and we would pay for the fencing on that side. We showed our next door neighbours the bricks we were going to use and the plans for the wall and fence and they said they were happy with them. When the wall had been built ( it was about 2 foot high on their side) they said it was an eye sore and asked us to give them some money so that they could plant conifers to hide it. To keep the peace I gave them £15 and the wife turned to the husband and said “ is this enough?”
We had a lot of objections from them in the 10 years we lived there, mainly whenever we wanted to improve the garden or the house and on one occasion they even had their solicitor accusing us of removing a fence panel which they said was on their land - it wasn’t!
The funny thing was that everyone said what nice people they were, but they weren’t living next door to them!

Hm999 Mon 15-Apr-19 18:26:07

Lie, and say she's saving up to replace the other fence which is her responsibility.

Madgran77 Mon 15-Apr-19 18:58:11

She shouldn't pay and they are cheeky to ask. She will be responsible for the other side fence presumably.

Doodle Mon 15-Apr-19 21:09:14

Neighbours are sometimes confused about who has responsibility for the fence. In our last house the deeds clearly showed the fence between us and our neighbours to the left was our responsibility but they thought it was their and were surprised when we had it replaced. If the neighbours think that fence is your DDs responsibility that might be the reason they are asking her to pay towards it. Also, does you DD have responsibility for another fence in her garden. If so it is unreasonable for them to ask her to contribute if she then may end up paying all the costs of another fence the other side of the garden. Either way it’s a request and I think as suggested she should say sorry single mum can’t afford it.

Tangerine Mon 15-Apr-19 21:14:47

I don't think your daughter should have to pay as it's her neighbours' fence. The trouble is they might not now replace the fence when it collapses if she won't contribute.

M0nica Mon 15-Apr-19 21:18:25

If it is not her fence she has no responsibility whatsoever to pay for repairs and what is more if the neighbours refuse to repair it and she suffers a s a result of it, they would be responsible.

W unfortunately own all the fences around our back garden, all of which have needed to be repaired over the years. We have never ever considered asking neighbours to chip in and if we did, they would certainly refuse. We get on very well with them.