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should I take a gift?

(64 Posts)
Oldwoman70 Sun 21-Apr-19 09:09:08

I have been invited to a friend's new house for lunch. She moved in some time ago but this is my first visit - others who are also invited for lunch have visited several times. I thought I would take along a bunch of flowers as a combined housewarming/thank you for lunch.

However on discussing this with someone last night they said that as the others would not be taking anything my flowers could make them feel uncomfortable. I know I could arrange for flowers to be delivered the next day as a thank you but then I would feel uncomfortable turning up with nothing!

She is a non drinker so a bottle of wine to go with lunch is not an option, besides most of us will be driving. So should I take flowers or not?

vickya Mon 22-Apr-19 11:02:27

I wouldn't go to lunch empty-handed, as others said, and also for a first visit to a new home I'd take something sweet, pastries, chocolates, cake, biscuits in a nice tin. To make the time in the new home sweet.

Legs55 Mon 22-Apr-19 10:56:08

As your friend doesn't drink how about a nice bottle of non-alcoholic fizz, I love Elderflower but there are lots of different ones in the Supermarkets.

I'm personally not a fan of flowers but a nice house/garden plant is most welcome especially if it's an Orchid

Merryweather Mon 22-Apr-19 10:55:04

I would take something. It's not a question of what it's the thought towards the invite and the hard work involved in the preparation and food - whatever the event is.

whywhywhy Mon 22-Apr-19 10:50:42

It's up to you what you do and not others. I would take some flowers or a plant.

crazyH Mon 22-Apr-19 10:47:59

I certainly wouldn't go empty handed.

ReadyMeals Mon 22-Apr-19 10:43:48

Or a box of chocolates. They could be shared at the time or kept to herself, as the hostess wishes.

Jaycee5 Mon 22-Apr-19 10:29:26

I usually take a bottle of wine if I'm invited for lunch. You could end up the only one not taking anything.
Maybe you are overthinking it.
People shouldn't feel uncomfortable because someone else has done something they haven't.

Bazza Mon 22-Apr-19 10:26:45

Personally wouldn’t dream of turning up to a meal prepared by someone else empty handed.

Craftycat Mon 22-Apr-19 10:18:56

Of course you can take flowers or a plant. I always do when I go out for lunch with a friend. It's just a nice gesture. Whatever anyone else does is up to them but I think it just good manners.

Daffydilly Mon 22-Apr-19 10:12:36

I'd take flowers. Better to be more than less, if that makes sense.

It's a bit like being over-smart at a do. I'd rather look like I've made an effort than not.

Hope you have a lovely time.

Jules59 Mon 22-Apr-19 10:00:13

Yes take flowers, it’s your first visit to a friends new house ?

jaylucy Mon 22-Apr-19 09:58:11

Don't worry about what others are doing- or not!
Flowers, or maybe even a plant - either for the garden, or an indoor one if not. Or even a planted container - doesn't have to be expensive , you can usually find them for less than a tenner in many of the supermarkets this time of year.
If not, have a look around for a plain glass vase - you can never have too many of those in diferent sizes in my opinion!

Magrithea Mon 22-Apr-19 09:49:46

Something for the new garden? We were invited to a 70th birthday/housewarming and I found a lovely recycled wood planter and planted it up with herbs for the deck they had installed. Was much appreciated.

Not everyone wants chocs (I don't!) but flowers are nice as is a plant

Nanny123 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:36:43

I would take the flowers - lovely idea

Kim19 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:36:30

I would most certainly take flowers irrespective of the others attending. They can make their own decisions. Only problem I find is that the hostess can sometimes be overflowered. I've never found that a problem, mind you.

ayokunmi1 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:26:55

Yes do take them.

Telly Sun 21-Apr-19 17:45:08

Definitely the right decision. Don't see how anyone could be in the least put out.

M0nica Sun 21-Apr-19 16:24:15

I would not dream of attending an event like this without flowers and, probably, a bottle of wine. The hostess will certainly not be phased by being presented with a gift like this and the other guests can think what they like, you are on the moral high ground.

LullyDully Sun 21-Apr-19 14:37:53

Flowers or a small plant are always very welcome. My ex daughter in law always gives me flowers when I see her and they are much appreciated.

So yes for a new house, who could object?

PamelaJ1 Sun 21-Apr-19 11:53:47

We are having friends over for lunch today. I will certainly not get upset if they only bring themselves , in fact I’ll be very happy. However if they bring flowers or anything else I will also be happy and grateful.
I would never go to a meal without a “little”something as a token of appreciation.

Bellanonna Sun 21-Apr-19 10:25:26

Great idea, OW!

Oldwoman70 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:23:56

The lunch is actually next week (sorry should have mentioned that) - I have decided to take the flowers!

Bellanonna Sun 21-Apr-19 10:19:46

I see your post doesn’t mention Easter Sunday. I was confused by someone mentioning Easter eggs.

Bellanonna Sun 21-Apr-19 10:18:11

The others won't feel guilty- they will probably take something too. Hope you manage to find somewhere open if the lunch date is actually today, Enjoy the day!

dragonfly46 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:02:19

I always take flowers - in Holland it is the norm and I just got into the habit. I wouldn't worry about making the others feel guilty.