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Advice please

(84 Posts)
EllanVannin Fri 24-May-19 09:19:43

Sounds as though the HV has got the problem !

Eglantine21 Fri 24-May-19 09:19:15

Why did Child Services call you, Worriedgran? What did they want to talk about?

Sara65 Fri 24-May-19 09:15:29

I feel sorry for you, and for your daughter.
It’s very lonely bringing up a child alone, and if the flat is untidy, it’s probably that she’s gotten low, and just can’t motivate herself.

You don’t say if she’s working at all, but if not, a day with a small child in an under furnished flat, and no garden, can seem like a lifetime

If there are genuine concerns, it’s best to address them, but she just sounds sad and lonely to me

BlueBelle Fri 24-May-19 09:04:42

Are you obliged to have health visitor visits now a days I remember only having about two visits after the baby was born Can she refuse visits or is it mandatory for some reason
Yes agree with others you being with her could avoid any perceived bullying
I m sure kids can live without carpets too
Are you sure there aren’t any deeper problems your daughter isn’t confiding in you

Worriedgran24 Fri 24-May-19 09:00:19

As I say the only thing is she is untidy and I think C is taking after her. She doesn't drink to excess, she only goes out once a week when we have GC, she doesn't take drugs and doesn't harm little one physically or mentally.

Marelli Fri 24-May-19 08:52:26

Crossed posts, Luckygirl.

Marelli Fri 24-May-19 08:51:47

Worriedgran24, would your daughter agree to you being with her at next Wednesday's appointment? It might give her a bit of confidence if you were there.

Luckygirl Fri 24-May-19 08:46:43

Would your DD agree to you being there for the next HV appointment? That way he HV would see that DD has support and you can get a proper grip on what the problem is. It would be surprising if HV had simply taken a dislike to your DD - she must have some genuine concerns.

Are there any things that you feel concern about in your DD's situation?

Worriedgran24 Fri 24-May-19 08:42:30

Morning ladies - I have spent a sleepless night and havent managed to eat for a couple of days. Local Health Visitor seems to have taken a dislike to my daughter for some reason and is now picking on her every chance she gets and calls it "help", calling in Child Services etc. She doesnt like my daughter's flat - its an upstairs one (she has a 3 year old), she doesnt like the idea child could fall down stairs but she doesnt want a gate up because of health & safety! Child is not neglected, he's well fed and looked after. D is a bit untidy but that's it. They keep bringing up her mental health - she gets down at times like all of us and just wants to be left alone with her child. HV was around yesterday (just passing although they had an appointment next Wednesday) and ripped her to shreds. D just ended up crying all night. Child's dad is not around so she is on her own. I do try to help but I get told she wants a mum and not someone who tidies her flat. HV said she was going to help and didnt want to come across as the "bad guy" but then goes behind her back to CS and tells them different things to what she has told my D. She just doesnt know who to trust and is very wary of talking to anyone. HV said she needed carpets - CS called me and spoke to me and I mentioned carpets and they told me "lots of people live without carpets" - they can't even agree between themselves. Sorry for rambling but I don't have anyone to talk to.