Daughter oroblems

I'm sorry to read about the problems with your daughter's partner and, as much as you can sympathise with someone who has obvious emotional issues, to me, it doesn't sound like a good idea to let him/them live in your house.

Could you instead try to encourage him to seek help for his problems?

Yes---------you do have a problem and a half !

My views on some transgenders might sound controversial but I often wonder whether these people really wanted to change in the first place ? Or whether it was that their minds were in so much turmoil at that time that they hadn't known who they were ? As a consequence because of all their indecisions it can and does affect them emotionally for a long time to come, ending with many mental health issues.
I would say that this " now man " needs serious counselling before he begins any sort of a relationship. A GP visit would be the first step and then a referral made to the appropriate department .
If there's no reasoning or if he refuses treatment for his behaviour, then show him the door as he sounds " dangerous " too.

I think you should take the advice of the police - they will have good reason for this.

Wow there's a lot there.

I think keeping a line of contact with your DD is the priority. You dont want them getting into a "the world is against us, like romeo and juliet" mentality and cuting you all off.

How difficult and upsetting.

I would venture that there is more of a history than just the incident at your house which is why the police are so concerned that you call. Is there a liason you can speak to about how to proceed?

Any other services who can advise you? Are SS involved? If not, you can call adult safeguarding via your local council for guidance.

Umfortunately, transitioning is "sold" online as the magic pill to right a feeling of "wrongness".. and a disproportionate amount of vulnerable/ autistic people and people with mental health problems get told that they will suddenly feel "right"/"normal" if they do it ....... but then there is a huge let down when they transition but their issues are still there... which is why so many detransition.

And if someone finds that transitioning didnt fix anything, or made things worse, all that online "friends" and support they got when transitioning turns to attacks and bullying. There is NO support for detransitoners. All of the support is for transitioning. So people just dont know what to do if they transitioned, and still feel depressed/"wrong"

Unfortunately it sounds like your DD has found herself slap bang in the centre of that sort of fall out.

Should read problems! Just shows how scrambled my brain is!