Mother-in-law

National Trust has monthly lectures on all types of things they last about 2 1/2 hours. There are usually two speakers at each event. They are always asking for speakers. They would most likely love to hear about your MiLs adventures at Bletchley Park. Just thought maybe you could drop her off and collect giving you a couple of free hours each month if you wanted to go to hairdresser etc They also have coffee mornings and outings to different NT buildings. I go on the coach and there are often a few elderly people who go and enjoy a cream tea and to meet up and chat. You could go with her on a couple and then see if she would go to meet her new friends alone. I have found most people go alone and meet up with others NT friends they have made there. Some trips are half a day others all day.

NT also do a week holiday where they stay in nice hotel and a coach takes them to a nice place each day with one day left for browsing around local market.

Jani do you live near Bletchley as i know they would love her to volunteer and talk about her time.I am sure Bletchley itself would have a organisation she could join.We went to the openning of the Alan Turing hut and it was a Bletchley codebreaker who opened it.She was in her nineties and was a fascinating lady to talk to.Your mother in law was one of the unsung heroes in the war.Dont forget its VE day next year so plenty of organisations there as well

Making a record of her life in any way you can, would be a very rewarding experience for both of you. I've just done this for my mum. With the help of an old work colleague of hers, who kickstarted the whole project, and my sister-in-law who recorded a couple of hours of chat, plus various members of the family, I have put together a small book, which is about to be published by Create Space in a few weeks time. I've paid someone to do the formatting, as I'm not skilled enough to do that myself, but I've edited the book myself. Talking to Mum about her past has been great and so has the connection I've made with far flung members of the family.

BBC R4 have a talking/listening project, I'm sure that they would be very interested in her, I'm afraid I don't have a link but look on the website.
Your MIL sounds lovely, as do you.
Is there a local nursing home that she could visit to talk to the residents?

Independent Age have volunteers who visit elderly or disabled people. They should be able to help out.

www.carersuk.org is a great site with loads of information and a forum

The local secondary school may have 6th formers who do some kind of community work.

I don’t know where you live but there’s a fantastic place for older people’s respite care holidays in Rothbury Northumberland, something to do with RAF. No idea if you have to be RAF but don’t think so. She’s get on like house on fire with her Bletchley connections. They do days out, evening entertainment and full of interesting seniors. www.rafa.org.uk/wingsbreaks/rothbury-house/

I was going to say the same as lilihu!

I also wanted to say how wonderful it is to hear of a family giving her a home after her husband died. What an exceptional lady she is too! Do no feel embarrassed to say you need some time on your own. We all do - it is important.

I do hope you find help from the ideas people are sending here. Good luck!

Misha14 That is a wonderful idea! Well done!

I wonder if you have considered the Royal British Legion - they offer breaks for young and old veterans.

I don't know where you're based , but there are veterans breakfast groups all over the country .
The one I go to have male and female ex service folk and we meet every second Saturday in a local pub for breakfast and a natter. We have social events like barbecue's or go out for a meal or have quiz nights and arrange trips to places like the National Memorial Arboretum ( not just armed forces and well worth a visit)
Another group is the British Legion which also has social activities - the difference being that we don't ask for subs.

Can’t really help much, but on the subject of Bletchley Park may I make a suggestion? I have a friend who volunteers there and I know they will be interested in your mils stories. How about getting in touch prior to your visit as they may want to record her anecdotes and treat her as a VIP!

Have you tried the British legion or SAFA . They do outings they could also head you towards different clubs . Also a bit of rest bite so you could go out for a few hours .

When my DF was housebound , my DM was offered one afternoon a week, and 3 full weeks of respite care. (This was about 20 years ago) It meant she could go shopping, and have a break. She also used it when she needed any work done in the house. Mum did have to request it, even though he was released from hospital under Social Services. Good luck

It sounds as if your mother-in-law is quite active, might she consider any groups in the neighbourhood so as to have an outside interest and somewhere to go one afternoon a week?

I'm thinking along the lines of her doing some charity work, joining a book reading club at the local library or of course if she is a church-goer going to church socials for the elderly, or engaging in some other activity there.

My brother in Richmond vols for a charity. He either sits with the person while the carer goes out or actually takes them out for tea, a beer etc. Contact Age Concern?

I am currently volunteering for a thing called Compassionate Neighbours but not sure how widespread it is. The local church would be able to help or point in right direction. These days the church, the CofE at least, does not seem to mind if you are not religious.

I will contact my bro and let you know details.

What a fantastic person you are as is your MIL.You are living with history and must take a record of her memories to leave with the rest of your future family.

This post presents Gransnetters at their best.

She may find U3A has interesting courses, look in the library for this and other events. If she 's talker, enrol her in a book or local discussion group, or a political party or church group, also the WI, obviously. Perhaps she could become a guest speaker!
Some care homes will do respite holiday care but that will be expensive, or pay a house sitter to live in your house with her while you're away.

Your local Age UK will have a Befriending service, where the older person is matched with a volunteer (all DBS checked) who has similar interests
It is a great service and entirely free

contact your local office of Age UK , they have volunteers for outings visits etc plus holidays and social activities .

Wow, Jani your MiL sounds a very interesting and lively lady. She'd be wonderful as a Speaker so why not get in touch with a few of your local Womens Institute or Mothers Union groups (other groups are available) and see if they would like her as a speaker for an evening? Just an idea

Hi to everyone - I have just finished reading all your lovely replies - J can’t thank you enough. We have just returned from getting MIL back from a friends and have just told her of all your messages. Needless to say she was delighted especially about contacting the Wrens - which I can take her to a lunch meeting as a start. You all had so much helpful advice for me and I will look into it all - can see a light at the end of the tunnel now - thank you all xx plus MIL was so pleased to see us after her break away xx