Gransnet forums

Ask a gran


(86 Posts)
dolly56 Mon 24-Jun-19 10:48:10

Just wondering if anyone else is s constant worrier. It's exhausting, at the moment I on holiday with DH . we'll be in our caravan. He's been ill before and I had to call ambulance. Worry is how would we cope. Hopeless in caravan, wouldn't be able to get us back etc
I am learning the basic features but DH thinks I'm panicking. Maybe I am . Trying not to think it worst case scenario all time, but it's so hard. Think I may go for counseling. Thanks for reading

oldgimmer1 Sun 30-Jun-19 11:38:20

Exercise works well for me too.

Can I join the wannabe "so-whater" club?

Anniebach Sun 30-Jun-19 11:01:12

Then I need oestrogen

BradfordLass72 Sun 30-Jun-19 09:54:40

I don't know if anyone has mentioned it but chronic worry and anxiety often begins after menopause.

Sounds like it could be that oestrogen strengthens us when we need it most (protecting young?) and then tails away leaving us as worry worts.

Just guessing, I haven't researched it. Yet. smile

Anniebach Sun 30-Jun-19 09:13:42

I so want to be a ‘so what - er’ ,

Chewbacca Sun 30-Jun-19 09:02:04

Thank God I'm not alone. I thought I was going mad.

RillaofIngleside Sun 30-Jun-19 08:28:13

Have you always worried? Or is it a more recent thing?
I never worried about anything until about 5 years ago when I developed gradually an obsessive anxiety about illness, insurance, tax , you name it. I would obsessively worry about having a form of cancer till I researched it away then started on the next. I could barely function and thought i would have to give up my job.
Then I realised that it coincided with taking statins and my cholesterol being pushed down low. I took advice and stopped the statins. I began to feel better almost immediately and now am just about back to normal although I think my body has unfortunately learned to fear so i still react to insurance!
My cousin had a similar reaction to a different drug.
It's worth considering if it could be drug induced if it is a new anxiety. My nurse wanted to put me on HRT. A drug to counter the effects of another drug. No thanks!
And my cholesterol has remained at acceptable levels without the statins.

moonbeames Thu 27-Jun-19 21:45:12

I am a worrier as well, I have to struggle daily not to frighten myself with "what if's" I am exercising a lot which helps. Sometimes I think its good to worry a bit and in your case I think it is pretty normal. In a caravan somewhere just the two of you. As others have said, make a few plans such as phone numbers and contacts to ring in case you need them on your travels. I think there would even be caravan clubs that you could join to hook up with others in the same boat. Go girl.

Haydnpat Thu 27-Jun-19 12:56:02

I too suffer from this, it's horrible

oldgimmer1 Thu 27-Jun-19 07:19:14

@juliet: I'm not the only one, then!

Thanks to the poster upthread who posted a link, I've realised that my worry is mainly related to letting others down, be it at work (my main worry), my relatives or even random strangers sometimes. I seem to have a very highly developed sense of responsibility which I can't shake off.

I've recently been "cut off" by a relative in whose life I probably meddled too much due to feeling overly responsible for him.

I should have just let him be. sad

grammargran Wed 26-Jun-19 19:09:46

I think people belong basically to one of two groups - the What If-ers and the So What-ers. If only I could belong to the latter ......

SueSocks Wed 26-Jun-19 15:23:18

Dawn22, me too. I start a course of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) next month. It is a group course suggested by my GP. I had a phone consultation with a mental health worker to discuss my issues, she suggested this course, I don't think it is just CBT, I think it is more than that, the focus seems to be on dealing and coping with the anxiety - I think this is what I need. I am in Sussex, but there are probably courses elsewhere.
Good luck.

Dawn22 Wed 26-Jun-19 13:16:51

I have had a bad case of anticipatory anxiety for the last few years.

Anyone else have experience of that?

I think it is a rotten form of anxiety. Am trying everything.
Best wishes. Dawn

DillytheGardener Wed 26-Jun-19 09:24:36

Cognitive behaviour therapy is a effective treatment for what sounds like in your case anxiety. Anxiety can gradually become crippling, perhaps when you’re back at home ask your doctor to refer you for CBT. I’d pay however, the waiting lists a long and you’d probably only need a few sessions.

luluaugust Wed 26-Jun-19 09:03:22

I thought I had got better at handling the worry but have realised that an event last has week triggered a few sleepless nights and now I am worrying about everything. I have a Drs appointment which I have waited ages for as I think I need to go back to the Consultant who dealt with my shoulder and have got really worked up in case the GP says I can't, I know this is irrational.

TerriBull Wed 26-Jun-19 08:07:47

dolly56, if it's any comfort, you are not alone. I see worse case scenarios around every corner, I think that has escalated since the menopause, and from everything I read, worrying does seem a facet of that condition.

Sweetness1 Wed 26-Jun-19 07:43:41

Okimherenow..thankyou for positive suggestion of the self help book and counsellor.

Katyj Wed 26-Jun-19 06:28:32

hollie57. I feel your pain and anxiety.Were on day 5 in our new home, and I feel exactly like you.Everything that could go wrong has and more besides.I feel ill and know we need to eat properly, but even Dh has no apitite. I went out yesterday in the car and found myself driving down the road were we used to live, house before last, got to the bottom of the road before I realised where I was! .Think I need a holiday in a very familiar place.Hope you settle soon, I'm hoping the sun might make a difference, when it decides to shine.

50ShadesofGreyMatter Wed 26-Jun-19 00:52:57

You have to retrain your brain. I was making myself ill with worry over my adult daughter until I came to the realisation that if/when she came to me for help I would be no good to her if I was a basket case. From then on I started working on myself. When you start to worry, put those thoughts firmly inside a box in your head and padlock it shut. I now have lots of boxes 😁 it might sound daft but the more you practice the easier it gets.
Repeat this many times a day, "I may not have control over what happens to me in life but I do have control over how I respond to what happens to me". Also this: "If you can't fix the problem in 5 minutes let it go, cos your time is better spent working on something you can achieve".

Glammy57 Tue 25-Jun-19 23:35:30

bit of a worrier!

Glammy57 Tue 25-Jun-19 23:34:35

I’ve always been a big of a worrier but anxiety has been the bane of my existence for many years. The only thing that works for me is medication - Sertraline. Have moved house about nineteen times and lived in several countries - all very stressful. No longer enjoy overseas holidays, too much anxiety. We enjoy short European breaks or city breaks in U.K. Hot countries always avoided as heat contributes to my anxiety!

okimherenow Tue 25-Jun-19 19:29:46

I can see where you are coming from..
What my husband has done to help him deal with his massive anxiety is two fold
He went to see a counsellor..
Chose the first name in a list off Google..
£25 an hour 7 x sessions in all AND bought read and worked through book OVERCOMING ANXIETY
By helen kennerly
Very practical and has without a doubt enabled him to deal with and REDUCE his anxieties..
When he feels getting agitated he phones the counsellor and has 1 x meeting and gets back into perspective.
It was the counsellor AND the book which he thinks saved him...
Good luck...

Glenfinnan Tue 25-Jun-19 19:16:48

I can relate to what you are saying. We are Motorhomers and my DH does not keep well. Just like some others I too note names of Doctors and Hospitals in the area. These details are usually kept in the information section of any site. Campers are usually VERY helpful so you are not alone! Plus Wardens do go over and above when needed.

Juliet27 Tue 25-Jun-19 19:09:14

oldgimmer1. I suffer from the exact same syndrome and I wake in the night and worry some more!!

legray22 Tue 25-Jun-19 17:46:08

In case of confusion, I typed 93% and that is widely accepted.

legray22 Tue 25-Jun-19 17:44:47

Dolly, enjoy your holiday! 9
3% of what we worry about never comes to pass xxxxxxxxxx