I'm 70 and DH is 81. We live in a large city in our own place. We're both completely independent, and I do a lot for my son's children since he is a single father and lives near us for that reason.
Last December my DD and family moved 600 miles away because of her husband's work. I thought I would die of a broken heart, I miss them and especially the children who are so precious to us.
Anyway, last week my daughter told me that they are looking to buy a house there, since it is all working out really well. Any idea that they'd come back here is not going to happen, since they both got really good jobs and the children are doing well.
She said they both want to look at a house with a detached granny flat, the idea being that DH and I could go and live with them. We could then rent out our home here for extra income.
In many ways I want to do it. It hurts my heart to be away from them, and that hasn't changed in six months. Life is zooming along and I feel as if I've lost them despite everyone's efforts to keep in touch.
I might add that where she lives is my and DH's old home town. We both have all our families there, brothers, sisters, old friends, and DH's three sons from his 1st marriage. Where we are now, we really don't have any connections except for my son and his children, DD 14 and DS 10.
I do a lot for the children - school runs, teacher talks, doctors appointments, that sort of thing. Things that mothers do I guess !
I think that if we went to live with DD next year, my son could come and live at our place and pay rent . The children could easily walk to school as it's around the corner and they'd both be together at high school. The children would be 12 and 15 which to me is old enough to be a bit more independent .
I just worry that I don't know anyone who lives in this sort of arrangement. I know we have to talk about things like the financial aspect, and all the "what ifs" like what if they got divorced or one of them died, or if one of us needed care . We all get along so well now, but living so near could be problematic !
It's expensive where they are - we could never afford to buy our own place there so this would be the one way we could do it, living near them and our other family.
But I do feel like I'd be abandoning my son who moved near us for the one reason that we'd be supportive of the children. I'd hate to feel guilty about just upping stakes and leaving them to it.
So I'm, on the horns of a dilemma - do we go or do we stay ? Anyone had any experiences with this sort of situation ? I'd be grateful for any input.
stella1949 Fri 28-Jun-19 21:15:34
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Urmstongran Fri 28-Jun-19 21:39:38
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