Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Going vegetarian

(51 Posts)
Newquay Mon 09-Sep-19 08:44:03

DH, certainly since we both retired, has been “cook of the house” which he enjoys doing and he’s a good cook. I don’t enjoy cooking. I eat whatever is put in front of me-we do agree meals for the week before going to the supermarket. On my own, I would eat very different meals-more pasta which DH doesn’t like for example. I don’t particularly enjoy meat but, as I say, I eat what i’m given and DH has accepted I eat smaller meals and not much meat and it’s no comment on his cooking.
I really would now like to stop eating meat altogether-just don’t enjoy it-but don’t want to upset DH. What’s to do?
Anyone else a vegetarian living with a meat eater?

CarlyD7 Mon 09-Sep-19 12:29:23

Hope you are not offended if I add the following thought. When you do convert to being a vegetarian completely (which it sounds like you will) please keep an eye on your health. Some of us, genetically, do not do well on it - sadly, I'm one of them; my genetics make it very difficult for me to get enough iron (and other vital things) from non-meat products. I've consulted doctors and nutritionists but to no avail (supplements don't help), and so now I need to eat meat twice a week (or need regular injections). BTW - most people are fine being veggies, but do monitor your energy levels, etc. If you do decide you can eat meat a couple of times a week, go for high welfare, GRASS fed animals - their meat contains high levels of Omega 3 fats (very good for us) whilst conventionaly reared animals do not - this compromises their immune systems and means they need regular antibiotics. Good luck with negotiating with your husband (he'll probably be fine about it).

sarahellenwhitney Mon 09-Sep-19 12:43:55

I was from childhood and still am a non meat eater
Veg. fish pulses pasta and cereals yes. Just do not like the taste of meat.
My children in their teens, and their choice, became the same although late H favoured meat and I would make sure he had meat meals he frequently shared mine.







.

Skweek1 Mon 09-Sep-19 12:50:08

I have two meat-eating men who laugh at me because I've always hated meat. Tried going vegan early 2018, but sadly didn't go very well because affected my blood sugars. I listen to my body and eat what is good for me on a day by day basis and allow my men to eat what they like. They cook for me, while I cook for myself.

PennyWhistle Mon 09-Sep-19 14:02:51

I told DH that I was going to give up meat for lent. That was in 2001, and I have never looked back. He still eats meat, although in the last month he has started to share my veggie meals several times a week.

He is also not terribly keen on pasta, or 'foreign food's (as he describes anything unfamiliar), but very very slowly he has realised meatfree does not mean taste free. He is also the main chef in our abode.

So I would recommend simply letting him discover in his own time how healthy and delicious veggie meals can be. (Softly softly approach works).

Foxygran Mon 09-Sep-19 14:06:53

‘Mindful Chef’ is a food delivery service, weighed out ingredients and recipes included. The vegetarian meals are all actually vegan and their 15 minute meals are really easy, flavoursome and well balanced nutritionally. I’d recommend trying a few of these, your husband will enjoy cooking them and a piece of grilled/fried meat/fish/prawns would be nice placed on top for him.
Special offers to start you off and you get the recipes to use for another time.

Lupin Mon 09-Sep-19 14:41:29

In my time I have cooked for a variety of conditions - omnivore, diabetes, coeliac, vegetarian - all eating at the same time. I took some thought! When the vegetarian issue kicked in I actually enjoyed discovering the dishes, cooking and eating them. Like your husband I enjoy cooking, so maybe he will enjoy the challenge too. I eat veggie dishes a lot now and prefer them.
Shame he doesn't like pasta. Could he substitute a jacket potato?
I hope it works out.

25Avalon Mon 09-Sep-19 14:45:19

To me the major difficulty is that your husband does the cooking and is a meat eater so he will tend to cook what he enjoys i.e. meals with meat. You need vegetarian meals that appeal to meat eaters and vegetarian alternatives to meat or dishes where you can take your portion out and then add meat to his. Linda McCartney meatless pies taste so good I doubt a meat eater would notice. Likewise meatless mince in a shepherd's pie. Instead of putting all the mix in a shepherds pie keep some back just for yourself and have it with pasta whilst he has it in the pie. If you can eat fish or shellfish such as scampi both have that occasionally. Try egg dishes - poached egg on top of crushed potato and spinach is really lovely. How about cauliflower cheese which he could add bacon to for himself? Gosh I'm not a vegetarian myself but there are some wonderful vegetarian dishes that I frequently eat because they taste so good.

GabriellaG54 Mon 09-Sep-19 14:50:47

I know that you're not interested in cooking and eat the meals placed before you but hold on.....
Why on earth can't you just inform your DH that you don't want to eat any meat meals in future?
Surely he has to respect your choice. Even in a care home or prison you get a choice.
I definitely don't understand why many women don't like to say this or that to family members or friends.
Who says he has any right to feed you food you've decided not to eat or get ticked off about your decision?
(Shakes head....)

Judy54 Mon 09-Sep-19 15:02:35

My Husband and I are meat eater who also enjoy vegetarian food. Good food is good food whether it contains meat or not. We have friends who are vegetarian and we love to cook for them and to find new dishes. We also enjoy visiting vegetarian restaurants with them. Just ask your DH to cook a vegetarian dish say one day a week to start or show him some recipes from a book/magazine, alternatively have a go yourself at a straightforward dish that does not need much preparation you may find it enjoyable because you are getting to cook what you want.

Newquay Mon 09-Sep-19 15:49:38

Thank you all. Don’t want to “upset” DH that’s all.
Just bought some salmon from M&S and a Haddock rissotto too. Have seen Jamie Oliver’s new series so will get some ideas from there. DD1 was briefly vege as a teenager and still have a Sainsbury’s vege book.
Will watch out for anything missing in diet.

CBBL Mon 09-Sep-19 15:50:24

I tried eating Vegan due to a diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes, and really struggled, as I have always been a very "picky" eater. I chose Vegan more for weight loss - but as a child would not eat meat, and once became very ill (hospitalised) due to malnutrition. Currently "Flexitarian" - i.e. some meat and fish, but mostly vegetarian meals. I do all the cooking, as my hubby is disabled (tho he does prepare breakfast, if I require something like toast or crumpets). My hubby now eats far less meat than he used to (he is an ex-rugby player with a large frame and an appetite to match) and I regularly offer him some of my veggie purchases such as quorn "nuggets" and cauliflower burgers (from Lidl). He loves the cauliflower burgers and (like me) most vegetables, so we often have veggie only meals, or omelettes. He is happy with only the occasional traditional meat and veg meal. Try some of the very good suggestions in the thread, Newquay - there will surely be an approach you favour in here somewhere.

ReadyMeals Mon 09-Sep-19 16:02:51

CBBL, the problem I see with going vegetarian or vegan to address diabetes is that one is meant to restrict carbohydrates when diabetis, and it's actually harder on those diets to get protein that is not either part of a fatty food (eg cheese or soya) or a carbohydraty food like pulses, or wheat protein or similar. To me someone with diabetes is really going to be well served with lean meat and fish which you can eat as much as you like of without it affecting the carbohydrate levels.

DotMH1901 Mon 09-Sep-19 16:16:00

Dragonfly46 - so glad to see someone else who can't tolerate Soya/Soy, I find it makes me ill if I eat any amount of it at all. My eldest granddaughter doesn't really like meat so I make a basic meal that we all can eat but do any meat separately so she doesn't have it - swop out her share of sausages for Quorn ones, make her spag bol sauce in a little pan on its own without adding meat, do grilled cheese slices for her when we have burgers etc. Doesn't take a lot of time and is easier once you get into the hang of it!

grandtanteJE65 Mon 09-Sep-19 19:02:25

Why do you think your husband will be upset if you decide to stop eating meat entirely?

If you both like spicy food then Indian food is a good way of eating no meat, as most recipes can be made with or without meat if you get hold of a real Indian cookery book, not one edited to what is supposed to be European taste.

PopMaster34 Mon 09-Sep-19 19:34:34

I am a vegetarian living with a meat eater, we usually eat the same vegetables but he has meat with his and I have something vegetarian with mine.

CarlyD7 Mon 09-Sep-19 19:38:35

CBBL (sorry to hijack the thread slightly) but have you seen The Blood Sugar Diet Book by Dr Michael Mosley (and the accompanying recipe book)? A friend of mine has reversed her type 2 diabetes with it - I've even tried some of the recipes myself (they're delicious).

Truddles Mon 09-Sep-19 21:38:38

I am pescatarian. I eat fish/fish products once or twice a week. My husband eats meat; he likes to cook as much as I do, but he always makes veggie dishes, sometimes with fish. He said he wouldn't know what to do if I stopped eating fish, too.

BradfordLass72 Tue 10-Sep-19 00:51:34

What a shame you feel inhibited by your DH's preferences - and what a pity he makes you feel that way sad This, more than vegetarianism is the real issue.

It seems you'd happily choose beans or cheese on toast, or a stir fry but he's already stopped you eating pasta because he doesn't like it!
Now he's making you feel you have to eat meat.

Is he as controlling in other areas of your life together?

I cannot imagine anyone feeling so strongly about foods that they would deny their spouse the right to eat what she wants.

Mind you, I have the luxury of living alone and to me, it's easy to throw a handful of risoni into boiling water to have with my stir fry and gawd help anyone who tries to stop me

I cannot claim to be truly vegetarian as I still do, very, very occasionally, eat meat. I eat fish too but 99% of the time, it's the good old vegies for me.

CBBL Tue 10-Sep-19 16:36:37

Thank you CarlyD - I will have a look for the book. Thank you for the advice.

CBBL Tue 10-Sep-19 16:40:23

Thank you also to ReadyMeals. I take your point. Sadly, my favourite thing of all is Potatoes - i.e more carbohydrates. I'm not fussed about bread or cakes (though I confess to eating biscuits).

Grandma600 Tue 10-Sep-19 17:05:37

Being vegetarian is easier now than it was when I first gave up meat (in the late 70s). Indeed, the one and only veggie restaurant near where I lived was called "Cranks" !!! At least nowadays you don't have to make every meat-free dish from scratch if you don't want to.
(PS I still love the smell of bacon)

BradfordLass72 Tue 10-Sep-19 21:35:09

Grandma600 I remember 'Cranks' - their food was delicious but expensive.

There's a wonderful vegetarian cook book which I've used for 30 years, called 'Laurel's Kitchen' -still in print.

Grammaretto Tue 10-Sep-19 21:58:06

I haven't cooked or served meat for over 30 years apart from Christmas dinner when I cook a turkey.
I like fish though so sometimes we have fish.
None of my family are veggie though DD was for a few years.
I spend quite a long time cooking because veg take time to prepare.
DH also cooks and he will always make sure there is a veggie option if he cooks meat.
I don't think I could be vegan. I like cheese, eggs and milk too much.
Good luck with going veggie. It isn't really hard just replace the protein part with nuts, eggs, cheese, lentils etc

Wendy Fri 13-Sep-19 20:08:40

I am a vegetarian but I eat fish. My dh isn’t. I grill fish one end of the pan and meat on the other. We share the vegetables. Been doing that for years.

ReadyMeals Sat 14-Sep-19 09:18:22

"I am a vegetarian but I eat fish."

You're not a vegetarian. You're a pescetarian.