Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Elderly

(106 Posts)
Newquay Mon 16-Sept-19 00:01:11

Just had a conversation with a dear friend, aged 68, who, despite being fit and active, considers herself elderly. I’m just turned 70 but don’t consider myself elderly. I do realise, of course, the dear old NHS would consider me elderly but what about the rest of us? What do you think?

vickya Mon 16-Sept-19 12:01:40

Herry58 yes I have been worried about going by train as it is a bus to the station, train to Euston and then another train and get from station to daughter, but she sent me details and times of trains smile and said she could pick me up from the station . I could perhaps get picked up coming home too. I think I might dot hat next time. The daughter I picked up had a 4 year old with hurt food not walking in a buggy so I had to drive. "Are we there yet?" smile

Craftycat Mon 16-Sept-19 11:47:23

I'm 69 & I certainly do NOT feel elderly although I suppose I would be classed as such.
I am fit & active- go to Yoga & dance classes & belong to various organisations to keep the mind strong too.I can hold my own when playing with DGC- quite good at cricket!!
I wear what I like which hasn't changed much in last 20 years- jeans, shorts , high heels- all fine by me & I put full makeup on every morning.
I believe in ' you are as old as you feel'.
Luckily I am in good health ( could do with losing a few lbs though!!) but I do realise that this will change at some point so I will have to think again but while you can wing it- go for it!!

Newatthis Mon 16-Sept-19 11:46:11

My body sometimes feels it, my mind never!

Anthea1948 Mon 16-Sept-19 11:45:54

I'm 71 and yes, I do consider myself as elderly. That's probably because I have major mobility issues and walk like a really, really old person (about 120) so I know I look elderly.
I do know what trisher means though - when my grandmother was in her late eighties she didn't want to go to Derby and Joan clubs because they were 'full of old people'!

Hetty58 Mon 16-Sept-19 11:44:21

Vickya, I suddenly became like that two years ago when I injured my back. It's still a problem and my whole life has changed.

I resist making plans as I'd rather just do stuff on a good day. I need a few days 'recovery' after long journeys or prolonged sitting. I go off for a lie down at any possible opportunity on family visits or days out (easier when outdoors in the summer) and I think twice about accepting invitations.

Things that I used to enjoy are sometimes just an ordeal now. I take the train to my daughter's place as a three hour car journey is just torture. Often, having got up at the crack of dawn and walked the dog, then travelled, they have an active adventure in mind for the day. I down the painkillers and try my best!

lovebooks Mon 16-Sept-19 11:43:21

In my 80s and definitely NOT elderly, BUT I would like the freedom to leave the party in a painless and legal way when the fun's over and I'm a burden to myself and my family.

I once met an elderly five year old who reported to me, with a frown: Your little boy's socks are the wrong colour! Hope she eventually found some joy in life.

inishowen Mon 16-Sept-19 11:34:44

I was in Tesco's on Saturday and a very elderly lady started chatting about our pensions not going far. I feel that st 67 I am not elderly, but she lumped me in with her. I was quite put out!

vickya Mon 16-Sept-19 11:32:40

You know the sketch in one of David's things satire programmes, with the two Ronnies and 'im from the programme with the awful hotel? I am having trouble this morning with names. I do quite often. Well the sketch is about class.
I look down on them.
I look up to him (taller Ronnie) but I look down on him
I look up to them (small Ronnie.

Well i think elderly is like that. I am younger than her. (little old lady)
I am older than her (younger 60 year old)
I am 74 and swim and do tai chi and walk the dog and go on the treadmill every day. But I was invited to a theatre performance and I refused as I get very uncomfortable sitting in a seat like that. Last time I didn't enjoy the performance. I had to get there. Too long in the seat. Need the loo. It just was not enjoyable. And now I've said no thank you to a few such suggestions I feel like an old woman. sad

I only go out to visit family, mind grandchildren. One visit to one daughter is increasingly difficult as takes an hour and half to drive there. I get very tired. And Saturday I had to pick up the other daughter on the way and her children and that added 45 minutes each way from me to her. I was in a lot of discomfort. How sad! Such a nice occasion, 3 year old grandson's birthday, but the drive made me very uncomfortable

grandMattie Mon 16-Sept-19 11:31:58

I’m 71, so in number terms I’m old. But... I don’t necessarily feel my age unless I’m poorly or overdone things! Having discussed this with DH, he agrees with me.

Hetty58 Mon 16-Sept-19 11:15:34

Elderly? Just a word. We're officially 'geriatric' at 65 too. What a damned cheek! The language hasn't changed along with our extended lifespans, that's all.

Some people have an old/elderly/geriatric state of mind from quite an early age. Others, like myself, are perpetual 17 year olds, trapped in an 'old' body and stubbornly ignore our age. When I ran for the bus yesterday, I was surprised that I didn't get my breath back until the next stop!

Septimia Mon 16-Sept-19 11:10:57

For goodness sake!! Nobody is elderly until they're at least in their 80s, and most people that age don't think of themselves as elderly.

Nothing annoys me more than the press reporting that something has happened to an elderly person - and then they tell you the person was in their 60s.

I was also an 'elderly' primagravida at 28. I hope they've changed the criteria now that so many women are starting a family later.

MrsJamJam Mon 16-Sept-19 11:05:24

I have just turned 70 which does seem a bit of a landmark. However a recent hip replacement has cured all arthritic pain and I feel more energetic than I have for years - so feel younger. Only thing that does hit me is that I no longer run up or down stairs. I think I have a long way to go before I feel elderly.

eazybee Mon 16-Sept-19 10:58:37

I am prepared to accept 'old' but elderly conjures up frail, and I don't like that.
I too was an elderly primagravida aged twenty-nine.
I remember my parents having the same conversation in their sixties.

SueDonim Mon 16-Sept-19 10:56:18

In the hospital where my dd is training patients aren't admitted to the geriatric ward until they're at least 85yo and even then if they're other use fit, they'll be on a regular ward. So 68 is a spring chicken!

Callistemon Mon 16-Sept-19 10:44:36

sheltered housing
Is that sheltered from the wind and rain?

I'm looking at DH and wondering if he should be classed as elderly hmm
He doesn't seem elderly

Witzend Mon 16-Sept-19 10:40:55

When I had my first baby at 28 I was down in my notes as an 'elderly' primigravida! Which only amused me then.

Although I'm 70, I'd certainly be put out if I heard anyone referring to me as 'elderly' now. Rightly or wrongly, to me it conjures up thin, frail, somewhat bent, and walking gingerly with a stick. (A bit like the signs you see by the disabled/elderly/pregnant seats on buses.).
And probably a curly perm and 'old lady' clothes, too.

None of which apply to me so far. (Especially not the 'thin' bit - I'm a couple of sizes bigger than my youthful size 10.)

Davida1968 Mon 16-Sept-19 10:24:40

It's 75, according to a Registrar (of births, marriages & deaths) who spoke to our local WI group.

Gonegirl Mon 16-Sept-19 10:07:36

It's in the mind

If only.

mcem Mon 16-Sept-19 10:05:29

It's in the mind. At 57 I was still teaching and the chatty lady who cleaned my room was telling me that she was having to move as her landlord planned to sell her flat.
She went on to say that she'd applied for a flat in a sheltered complex. Since she was about to turn 55, she thought that was her best option!
That hadn't crossed my mind and still hasn't at 71!

EllanVannin Mon 16-Sept-19 10:04:02

79 very soon and I have an " inner " objection at being called elderly. I still do things as I did 20 years ago and don't feel very much different to back then really.

I'm on the go a lot, always have been as I don't drive, so walking is second nature and I've done a lot of that in my time.
Having a good pair of " bellows " helps too ! As is having a variety of good food and cooking it yourself------it keeps you going.

sunseeker Mon 16-Sept-19 09:57:16

I think it is probably all down to how you feel about yourself and how active you are. Some days I feel like I am still in my 30s, some days I feel like I am around 100!

I recall some years ago talking to the mother of a friend - she said she had to hurry off because she was doing some shopping for the old folks - she was 86 at the time!

Gonegirl Mon 16-Sept-19 09:50:52

And you can only kid yourself for so long.

Gonegirl Mon 16-Sept-19 09:49:46

Whether or not you consider yourself to be elderly probably depends on how physically active you have been all your life. If you have mostly gone places in cars or on buses then you won't notice when 'elderly' suddenly hits you in your seventies.

If, however, you have always loved to walk or cycle everywhere, and suddenly you find you can't do it anymore, you will be forced to admit to the fact that you have become old. Or - "elderly".

If you have not reached that stage yet, you will.

KatyK Mon 16-Sept-19 09:49:11

My neighbour told her doctor off for calling her elderly. She is 92.

henetha Mon 16-Sept-19 09:29:18

As I'm well over 80 I suppose that is elderly, but I don't feel it.