If my husband doesn't die in the next four years, I will be destitute.

Would it not be possible to take out some kind of individual savings policy that would pay out if you die but gives you a lump sum at the end?

I have two one, with LVP and one with the Sheffield Building Society. Granted they are both 10 year savings plan, one of which is a tax free plan.

My husband recently was given a terminal prognosis of two years and is now busily training me to manage all the finances and ensuring that I will cope! It is very disturbing as I would like to concentrate on what we have left to enjoy but it makes s him more content. Good advice is essential

When we were considering a stair lift, age UK arranged for someone to come and give advice and a price, promising no followup unless we requested it.
It's also possible to hire them.
We eventually decided to go for a stiltz lift, and it has been worth every penny...though it was a lot of pennies!
It's meant that for the first four years, while my husband used it, I could continue to use the stairs unencumbered. Unfortunately, he is now confined to downstairs, but I now find I need the lift myself, and was so pleased to have it there waiting.

When this scenario happened to us ,it was pointed out that the AC could pay the premiums as , after all, they are going to have a huge payout in the future.
I can still manage the premiums as they have not increased as much as yours.
Perhaps you could discuss it with them.
When a friend of mine was widowed with not enough to pay all her bills and still run a car and get out ,her AC took over the utility bills and council tax for her saying they would rather she stayed in her home which they will eventually inherit.
I realise neither of these ideas are possible for everyone but it is worth sounding the family out.

I agree with Maw. To say “It’s awful to hope he dies in the next four years or better yet I do, but that is what it’s coming down to.” is indeed callous! It seems that you do not value your “d”h very highly when finance is more important.

If my dh dies in the next 6 months I will get a substantial sum of money from his pension policy. After that (as he will be 65) I get no lump sum. The difference between me and the OP is that I love my dh and, despite his considerable ill health, I value every day we have together and any financial hardship will just have to be dealt with, which it will be as I am an expert on managing on very little!

I have a small life/annuity policy. It was sold to me in 1979 as about £35,000 lump sum on maturity (if interest rates had continued as they were at the time) which was a considerable amount of money then. The reality is that it is now worth around £8000! It matures in 1-1.5 years and will go straight into a funeral fund!

About fifteen years ago, DH and I took out a policy which would pay out £250,000 on second death. This seemed a good plan, as the monthly premium was very reasonable, though we knew it would increase. About five years ago, it doubled, but was still manageable. However, this year, it quadrupled! As DH is in a nursing home, my income is halved, and savings depleted. The options were to pay the new premium for the next five years to retain the original sum, after we are both deceased, or continue to pay the current premium, and have the final pay out reduced by two thirds. The point of this policy was to ensure that our family would have an inheritance, in case our savings and house were lost to care costs. At the time, we thought we were in good health, so was just a worse case scenario, but, in the event, DH developed PD with associated dementia. If we were both to die before the next review in five years, it would have been worth paying the higher premium, but it's likely that if one of us even is still alive, the premium increase then will be unmanageable. It's the chance you take as we can't see the future.

Legs55
You should have inherited your H’s state pension.
If you haven’t that is wrong.
My H died in April and I inherited his, please look into it.
I didn’t have to apply, it was done automatically when DWP were notified of his death.

By the way happy to get you moving on your thoughts at no cost to you I’m not looking for work or payment

Downsize NOW if you don’t put the house up for sale you’ll never know if it will sell or not. Don’t be a victim of your circumstances take action and get the ball moving now. Once you start taking action things will fall into place. Good luck and although I’m retired I am happy to coach you through theses processes. Being stuck and feeling stuck is never a good place to be in.
We have also taken steps. We have very large house which is on the market and also have 5 plus houses in the adjacent roads for sale. We’ve bought a smaller ground floor apartment off plan which will be ready in 2021.
Taking action is a great feeling.

I do apologize sincerely to those who have husbands who are ill or who have died, and whose wives would give up everything financial to have them back again. Believe me, it was not my intention to hurt them. My first reading of their posts was that they wanted to wash their hands of such a 'dirty', depressing subject - as if they wanted to distant themselves from such ugly things as lack of money. Reading their comments this way, I, felt speechless at their lack of understanding.

So if there are things going on in their backgrounds that I don't know about that have caused them to make these comments, I am really sorry for any offence.

By the way, MawB, we were those who lost pensions through the Equitable Life scandal.

There is now an option not to have a traditional funeral but to be taken straight from home or the hospital to be cremated, then your ashes given to family members to be kept or disposed of as your wishes. I think this works out much cheaper because no hearse, cars etc.
I may look at this option as I dont feel the need for a service .
GILLYBOB
Re deferred pensions. Are you aware of the changes made in 2016 ?
In the past people could take a larger lump sum but the situation is now different. I would check on this if you havent already.
I have a decreasing life insurance policy which is up in two years. If DH dies before me I have to apply to the army for which I will receive 4 months of his pension and that is all.
Lots of us are living in a bubble which will burst eventually. I just try not to think about it .

So many things to worry about as we get older and are faced with our own mortality.
I would look seriously at down sizing Bobdoesit surely it should be as much your decision as your husband's. Some good ideas on here well worth following up.

Jura2 if you pay someone to do the bed changing and cleaning for your B&B there will be very little profit, its not a great money spinner.

I'm speechless regarding AllTheLs comments.

I've already been told to sod off from another thread because I disagreed with the OP due to personal reasons so decided not to post on this one.

But...…..this morning, DH (who is seriously ill in hospital) and I have been offered a glimmer of hope and I'm clinging to that with my fingernails. I couldn't care less if we end up living in a garden shed. I just want him home where he belongs.

Tell me to sod off from this thread as well if you like. I couldn't care less because I know what matters in my life.

I am fortunate to own my home, a mobile (park) home, my DH & I downsized from a large 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom Park Home. Sadly he died 15 months after we moved. His State Pension ceased along with his very small Company Pension. Over half the household income gone. Fortunately he had Over 50s Insurance which covered the cost of his Funeral.

Incidentally I believe the State Pension ceases upon spouse's death now as every-one gets their own State Pension, correct me if I'm wrong.

I had to downsize further as I couldn't afford to stay in the Home we'd bought. I moved to be closer to DD & DGSs. I'm very happy in my new home, heating bills are less but my home is small & I have no storage.

I don't get my State Pension for 2 years but have my Civil Service Pension & Benefits. I do worry how I will manage when I get my State Pension as I think my Civil Service Pension will take me just above the threshold for Pension Credit.

I have 2 Over 50 Policies, Index linked, my payments go up every year but so does the pay out, hopefully they will more than cover the cost of my Funeral.

I have no savings but at the moment I am living life to the full, I don't know what the future holds but I do not bury my head in the sand, many things are out of my control so I can't worry about them.

I've often joked to myself that if things got really tough I might commit a crime which demands a prison sentence. Nothing violent obviously. I'd save money, I could help younger inmates, read a lot.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You are not by any chance a reincarnation of Live, love, learn are you AlltheLs ?

For “predecessors” read “predeceases ” - stupid iPad.

And annsixty, whitewavemark2 and HildaW, assuming you're still reading this, then count yourselves incredibly lucky not to be in the situation where you have to face these 'depressing' and 'disturbing' worries. Go and read the pretty threads
This comment is inexcusable - you owe some people an apology - have you any idea who you are castigating AlltheLs ???

If you have a pension and own your house outright you are not destitute.
Ask any of those who still has a mortgage to pay and no income if their partner predecessors them or is in negative equity or people who have been scammed out of their pension by crooks or indeed whose pension was lost e.g. the Equitable Life scandal what “destitute” feels like.

I think the ill will shown towards other Gransnetters in this thread is disturbing. Whether older people are poorer or better off, whether they rent or have property they are all in the same boat in some ways. We all share a common humanity. All deserve sympathy as life is tough for everyone in one way or another.

The current expressions of envy, resentment, anger and bitterness towards others is a horrible factor of our age.

Sorry, take the 'knowing' out of my first sentence. Don't know what it's doing there.

Yes, Claudiaclaws, the worry of how you're going to manage financially is awful - I've worried about it for a long while knowing. The one time I had a break from the worry was when I had cancer - it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I didn't have to worry about money after all. Surprisingly, I recovered, but with my recovery, back came all the money worries.

Nothing I can do about it, like OP, my husband also found it impossible to get any kind of insurance after having a heart attack. We both have crap pensions (or I will have upon retiring - in fact I won't be able to retire - I'll have to work until I die).

Sorry, this has turned into a 'woe is me' rant and I only wanted to say I'm in the same boat and the worry spoils my life.

And annsixty, whitewavemark2 and HildaW, assuming you're still reading this, then count yourselves incredibly lucky not to be in the situation where you have to face these 'depressing' and 'disturbing' worries. Go and read all the 'pretty threads'.

bob you have had good advice on this thread. I personally would consider releasing equity. A friend of mine released 12k yearly, and it worked well for her. She has passed now but it helped her with the financial stress. Good luck

Have you had a serious, calm discussion recently with your husband about your finances ?

From the tone of your post it sounds as if you are the one doing most of the worrying, but of course the problem concerns you both doesn't it?

What are HIS suggestions about your financial problems ? You say he doesn't want to downsize, which would release some much needed money, so what does he think is the best way forward? Don't let him bury his head in the sand as that will achieve nothing.

I think you should sit him down in a quiet moment, and express just how worried you are about the future.

Have pen and paper handy and jot down any ideas which spring to mind, then whittle them down to those which could really happen.