Jeannie59, she sounds just like my sister who took charge (and took over) completely with our mother in her final year. I know she was Mum's favourite but, honestly, it was as if Mum 'belonged' to her. She took all the important decisions, cast scorn and ridicule on any/all of my suggestions and simply wouldn't compromise.
She made me feel equally useless. I was told when to visit, what to do and buy, even what to say etc. (Of course, I didn't follow instructions.) She was desperately trying to control things. Her arrangements didn't go well. I decided not to confront or challenge her (just express despair at how things were going) as she wasn't going to be swerved at all and we haven't completely fallen out. We're on speaking terms but I've lost all respect and view her as a spoilt, selfish and immature person.
Now, if she mentions Mum at all, I just say that I prefer not to even think about her - as I'm reminded of how sad and upsetting her last year was.
Lack of public toilets in towns.
Soop's warm and welcoming kitchen for kindly folk.