deodorant for children?

SalsaQueen sorry if you thought I was suggesting you were it seemed that some on GN wanted you to be more confrontational- I don't think it helps. Good luck. I'm sure she will love them.

trisher thanks. I must say that I'm NOT aggressive towards the mother. I dislike her (th feeling is mutual) for many reasons, but that's something else. I have bought some very nice toiletries (formulated for children) for my Granddaughter.

What a lot of "blaming" on this thread.
I kept my ex at the door when he picked up the children because if I let him in he would pick holes in things I said and create an argument. Much better that I didn't speak to him.
The Mum sounds a nightmare but you really can't tell what is going on.
Salsaqueen try not to judge, be there for your Gds and stay strong. It's hard to tread a middle path but being aggresive towards your Gds mum won't help anyone. I wish you all the best, it won't be easy. Buy your GD some nice smellies. Girls seem to do things at much younger ages than we did. I'm sure she won't be the first in her year to use deodorant.

"he has to collect his daughter from the doorstep (he's not allowed in the house)"

Although it is unpleasant, it is not uncommon in a divorce. I wouldn't call it nasty.

A "clean" handover like that is actually recommended by mediators. Its not at all unusual to keep handover clean cut like this

Soap and water twice a day is all that is necessary I would have thought.

Salsaqueen,
Hiding your head in the sand and ignoring the real problem won't help your gd - using deodorant or not

I wish your gd the best of luck.

My original post was about the tactless way in which my son's ex told my GD "You stink and need deodorant", and I wondered whether girls of 8 need to be using the stuff.

I don't need any further replies, but thanks.

Hithere.... child 1 belongs to another man.
Children 2 and 3 belong to my son.

I actually only really wanted advice about whether or not an 8 yr old needs to use deodorant, but thanks for your input.

Sara6 My son sees his 2 girls on a regular basis, and he pays towards their upkeep. Again, thanks, but it's not that type of advice I was asking for.

One of my granddaughters has seen her father twice this year, he has gone on to have three more children with two more women, he seems to see them regularly.

He hasn’t paid a penny towards her for at least five years. We feel really sad for her, she still thinks he’s so wonderful, and to be honest, he’s a scumbag! For your granddaughters sake, don’t let your son be pushed out of having a relationship with her, little girls need their dads.

I am confused which kid belongs to which father.

If the mother is abusive, she is doing it with all the kids, including the dd.

If he is so scared she is going to play the no visit card - that is the reason why he needs to go to court and be able to report it if she breaks the agreement. Your son is dropping the ball. He is acting like a scared child ignoring his rights. Has he at least gone to a lawyer?
Is the 350 pounds also agreed off court? How did they come up that number?

Hithere I agree to a point that my son needs to stand up to her more, but he's afraid she'll make things difficult for him seeing the girls. When the 5yr old was only a year old, she refused to let him see her for 5 weeks. She moved house, wouldn't tell him where. I got to know, via a friend of mine who happened to live nearby

Hithere It's the dad of her eldest child that has to do that. My son is father to the middle and youngest of her children. The woman has never been married. She's got an on/off boyfriend of 24 (the mother is 34)

Salsa
Not good enough.

His dd is being emotionally abused and he just doesn't want to ruffle the mother's feathers.

Your son needs to do more. He needs to be a father and fight for his dd's best interest

Hetty58 Yes, I know. She likes to make it known that she's very much in control. I just wish she wouldn't say such mean things to the GD. She doesn't treat the younger (yr old) like that.

"he has to collect his daughter from the doorstep (he's not allowed in the house)"

Although it is unpleasant, it is not uncommon in a divorce. I wouldn't call it nasty.

Hithere I told him that ages ago, but he won't. At the moment, things aren't too bad, although I feel he has to dance to her tune. If she ever stopped him from seeing his children, he'd have no choice but to take her to court.

In that case it was definitely aimed at your son. It's just one of those 'I'm the mother, the important one who knows best and dictates the rules' kind of remarks. They often go along with 'I'm needed, irreplaceable and vital for the kids - whereas you are not'. It's just power games, that's all.

Salsa

Your son needs to stand up for his dd and get a proper custody agreement.

What if the mother decides to deny all visits?

Hithere my son hasn't ever had any formal thing about when he sees his children. He didn't want to go to court and have any unpleasantness. The mother has got an 11 year old, by a different man. He took her to court, and she made things nasty - he has to collect his daughter from the doorstep (he's not allowed in the house)

Paddyann Thanks for your words of wisdom. My son is only ALLOWED to have the children for those times because that's what the mother dictates. He pays £350 a month for them, and he pays for school uniforms, etc. One of the GD went to a birthday party yesterday, and he bought her outfit, the birthday present and card.

My GD has never, ever heard me or any member of my family say anything bad about her mother. I'm not an idiot. and would never do that.

The mother said the thing about the girl needing deodorant to the child, in front of my son - and she was clean, had on clean clothes.

Both my GDs , who are avid showerers, needed a deodorant by the time they were 10. Children grow up quickly these days

Salsa

That sounds so sad, it would upset me if it was one of my grandchildren, I’ve got two nine year olds, and I can honestly say, I’ve never noticed any smells at all, and eight does seem young to be using a deodorant, but then children develop at different rates.

But, I do agree with Paddyann, they can be artful, my grandchildren turn up saying they haven’t had breakfast, not true, they know I’m a soft touch, but I’m not a complete pushover !

If you shower daily you shouldn't need any artificial scents.

Your son only has his children 4 full days and 4 days after school in a MONTH???No wonder their mother is peed off at him.She's got them the rest of the time and they ARE his responsibility too

Yes 8 year olds do use deodorant. Puberty on average starts much younger these days especially for girls. A lot of 8/9 year olds have periods now it's not as rare as it used to be.

At around 8 my girls stopped having bedtime baths and instead started showering before school (and applying deodorant daily)