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What shall I do?

(110 Posts)
BlueSapphire Sun 10-Nov-19 20:16:46

My DIL has been in her new job for a week; asking her today how it was going she admitted that she found the morning commute difficult, and has been late for work three times this week because of traffic, which is not good. Now, I know she should probably have thought about this beforehand, but she really wanted to escape her previous job in which she was unhappy.

I am thinking of asking her whether she would like to drop younger DGD off with me at about 7.30 each morning to give her an extra half hour to get to work. I could then take DGD to school.

As far as I can see, pros are:
DDIL would not be so stressed in the mornings;
It would make me get up earlier and I would get more things done and get some exercise from the walk to and from school;
I would be spending good time with DGD and she wouldn't have to go to breakfast club.

Cons are:
I would not be able to slob around in my dressing gown for half the morning if I felt like it.

I would not do Mondays as I have an early yoga class, but every other day is fine.

Shall I offer?

Gonegirl Mon 11-Nov-19 09:44:52

All this talk of early mornings getting kids to school is making me shudder. You could give it a try for perhaps a year, but I wouldn't want to be saddled with it.

Early morning is not good bonding time.

Urmstongran Mon 11-Nov-19 09:36:25

I think it’s a lovely idea BlueSapphire
Perhaps trial it as suggested upthread - say till Christmas and review? In fact keep options open on both sides and review each half term?

As your granddaughter would be coming to you and not breakfast club, she could even turn up in her pj’s underneath her coat, with school uniform ready in a bag to get dressed into at yours after breakfast! Even easier for mum!

Callistemon Mon 11-Nov-19 09:24:33

It is probably early for most to be out of the door, I agree, although DGS has to be on the bus at 7.30 am.
I think it is par for the course for many with working parents, though, especially if working times are not flexible.

Granarchist Mon 11-Nov-19 09:04:44

do it! Get those brownie points.

Hithere Mon 11-Nov-19 03:05:21

I agree with notanan2

Why not asking the son and dil? They may have a plan in mind that is the most convenient for them (parents and child)

notanan2 Mon 11-Nov-19 00:12:54

All Im saying is float it as an option

notanan2 Mon 11-Nov-19 00:12:09

But its early to be leaving the house for a primary aged child!

Most children would be up But not out the door at 7.30!

I think its important that children have a relaxed start to the day before a day at school personally. Not too rushed or hectic

Callistemon Sun 10-Nov-19 23:49:01

Well, I don't think we should generalise, I was just giving examples. Some schools do start earlier than others.
DGS is in primary school. 7.30 am seems very late to be just getting up to me.

notanan2 Sun 10-Nov-19 23:47:17

A 2 stop morning will be less relaxed for the child than just going from their home direct to school IYKWIM.

Its worth thinking about anyway. Might work better

notanan2 Sun 10-Nov-19 23:45:01

For secondary lots of school buses do leave at 7.30 but in primary most kids who dont have to be in breakfast club would still be getting up or getting dressed around that time not leaving the house at that time

Callistemon Sun 10-Nov-19 23:38:05

Ps what is normal time on schooldays?
My DGS has to catch the school bus at 7.30 am and DGD at 8am (different locations)

Callistemon Sun 10-Nov-19 23:35:31

I think this is just one Y5 child at primary school, notanan, and presumably BlueSapphire will give her DGD breakfast.
Presumably the older one(s) get themselves to school.

Tangerine Sun 10-Nov-19 23:27:56

Why not give it a try?

If you explain in advance that you intend to be very reliable but you can't do Mondays and can only do it if you remain in good health, your DIL (if a sensible person) ought to understand.

notanan2 Sun 10-Nov-19 23:16:51

Dropping off at yours means she has to get them up extra early and totally ready, can you not go to them? Then they can get up/dressed at normal times and your DD just has herself to get ready? Seems more logical to me.

Also means all of their school stuff will be to hand

Hithere Sun 10-Nov-19 21:52:26

How about shooting them a message: "how can I help?"

Ginny42 Sun 10-Nov-19 21:32:00

Such a great opportunity to bond with your DGD, and think of the chats and laughs you two will have. You will be so close, and she'll always remember those years. You're a young Grandma and this will keep you even younger! Just do it!

SpringyChicken Sun 10-Nov-19 21:30:05

It's already less than two years as GD will finish Y6 in July 2021. Why not suggest a trial - from now until Christmas - and see how it suits?

BlueSapphire Sun 10-Nov-19 21:24:32

My son works shifts and cannot always be there. If he is home he always does his turn. And they know that I will book holidays as when and they would work round that. If I were ill they would have to accept that and find a way. I think DDil is quite embarrassed about being late for work in her first week and is keen to make a good impression. I shall probably offer, but might go through DS first?

Callistemon Sun 10-Nov-19 21:18:22

How far is school from where you live?
Can you walk or would you have to drive?
Whatever way, you would be up and raring to go to your own pursuits at a reasonable time in the morning.

It would only be term-time for two years and a lovely opportunity to bond, chat with your DGD.
Just ensure it is flexible and not set in stone.

GagaJo Sun 10-Nov-19 21:15:42

Yes! I think the idea of western grandparents being foot lose and free from a fairly young age is selfish. This is the last generation that will be so spoiled. People of mid-50s on will be working until 75 anyway.

IF we are lucky enough to not work, we should certainly help our families out. We complain that we don't see them enough, aren't close enough to our grandchildren, aren't included. Our nuclear family approach is why! This doesn't happen in cultures that have close extended families.

BlueSapphire Sun 10-Nov-19 21:13:52

Breakfast club is from 8am at her school, so that is what is happening now and DDIL is still getting to work late after 9am, which is when she is supposed to start. It would be for a maximum of two years as DGD is in yr 5. My health is good, touch wood, I am 74(!), hopefully a young feeling 74, and like to be active. If DH were still alive there is no way I would even consider it, but now I am on my own I would just like to fill my time purposefully. Still thinking about it....

PamelaJ1 Sun 10-Nov-19 21:13:46

I would do it but I’m an early bird anyway.
I presume that as your DD is sort of managing now she would be able to cope if you couldn’t do it? You may go on holiday for instance.

Hithere Sun 10-Nov-19 21:10:17

Great idea!

Other solutions:
1. She can leave earlier than rush hour or when rush hour is dwindling - readjust her schedule to the traffic
2. What can your son do to help?
3. Dil and son can take turns in taking them to school
4. Carpooling with other parents and take turns?

It will work out!

Hetty58 Sun 10-Nov-19 21:09:28

It's all very well until you hit a problem. You should have a back up plan, just in case you're ill, it's icy outside or you just don't feel like doing it. A childminder (who is going to the school anyway) might be a better idea in the long run.

grannyactivist Sun 10-Nov-19 21:02:05

I think you know the answer BlueSapphire. Enjoy your new morning routine. wink