What shall I do?

Just seen this thread. I would have done exactly the same as you did. So pleased it has worked out so well.

That is good news BlueSapphire
I hope she enjoys her new job.
And you don't have a rushed morning either.

Hello, an update on the stuation.

DDil came to fetch DGD today and had a beaming face. She has handed her notice in today to the job with the stressful commute, and starts in a similar new job next month just the other side of town, about 15 minutes drive. She was so happy! I felt so pleased for her, so my dilemma is solved. Happy bunnies today!

Great to read about some nice communication going on.

Thank you for the update BlueSapphire

She sounds very thoughtful, as do you.

Just updating. DDIL has had a sad few days as her Dstepfather died recently and she spent the end of last week in Stockholm for his funeral. Luckily DS was able to step in and keep the family routine going.

I have asked her today whether she would be open to my offer of having DGD early in the morning and taking her to school and if it would help with her commute. She was very grateful, but for the time being has turned it down, but will bear it in mind if things get difficult. She is reluctant, despite my protestations, to ask more of me, as I already pick up DGD two days a week, and she feels that is enough. But she will see how it goes.

Anyway, the offer is still on the table.

I think I would offer to do the two mornings where you already pick your grand daughter up after school. That way although two days would restrict you you would be able to go to yoga and have two free days.

I would go for it if you can BlueSapphire. I’m sure it would be greatly appreciated. As you wouldn’t be doing Monday anyway it would only be 4 days maximum. Unfortunately weatherwise it is a bad time of year to start but we can’t do anything about that ?. Do come back to us and if you decide not to do it or it doesn’t work out then so be it. As a matter of interest what happens in school holidays. That’s when I struggle most, with no car and a 5yr old and 3yr old all day. But I do it at their house so they can have their own toys!

I have my grandson all day Monday from 7am untill 6pm, I then have my grandaughter on a Tuesday after school then take her to Rainbows and pick her up. On Wednesday I look after my step grandson for a couple of hours in the morning then pick up my other grandson at 1 30 from nursery. Then I go on to pick up my grand daughter at 3 15 from school then take her to gymnastics at 5 then pick her up at 6 and leave their house at 8 15pm to pick my 15 year old step grandson up from Rugby I get home around 9pm. On Thursdays I look after my step grandaughter from 8am and then pick her sister up at 3 from school give them their tea and leave at 6 pm. Friday I have all to myself. So I say go for it Blue Sapphire.

BlueSapphire* I would do it without a thought. The walk will be good for you and your GD is at a great age. This time will speed by.

I have looked after all of my grandchildren over the years. I am close with them all,

I wouldn’t want to commit to every morning but maybe 3 mornings a week!

I would jump at the chance. Our grandbabies live 9-12 hours away. If she wants you to help out and you work out a schedule, then Yay! Don't overthink it.

Not sure if it's been suggested and I've missed it but how about offering for say three mornings a week to start? Good idea giving it a trial too, and equally a good idea to take your time before offering - I'm terrible, I jump right in with offer and then kick myself because I haven't thought it through fully haha x

Bluesapphire - you must help if you can. I know its hard to give up your morning lie-in or staying in Pjs till lunchtime. If you can do a couple of mornings, it will be lovely for everyone...better relationships all round. Good Luck ....

What a lovely start to your day. I’m sure your DiL and DGD will welcome it. Your DiL might have thought of it herself perhaps but didn’t like to ask. Let us know what you decide.

I would, it would do them both a favour. I'd love to spend the time with grandchild.

I have to say how v impressed I have been with wise, solid advice from other gransnetters. In loads of different circumstances. Think you are an awesome advice-base. V reassuring to know you are out there.

Gas tarrifs without standing charge

Personally I would see this as a chance to grow closer to DGD and DiL

Could you try it for two days a week to begin with and see how it goes. You could increase it if it works out well or stop it if you hit unexpected problems. Talk to your DiL and see if she likes the idea and is willing to give it a try with the proviso there's no hard feelings if it doesn't work out.

I’d love our grandsons to be nearer so we could help more. Twice to three times a month we get up at 5am to travel 80 + miles to baby sit for DD who works full time.
I make dinner, take it with us, , a 2 and a half hour journey to get there around 8.30 am. Traffic hell. Take 5 yr old to school and look after the 2 year old. Help bath them after dinner then home around 10pm.
Very tiring and I especially hate the dark cold winter months. Sometimes stay over but has to be in a B & B as no room at the inn.
But they will soon be in school, so I like to think I can do it.
We never had any grandparents to help with my girls so feel grateful I can do it. It’s not forever.
All things must pass...

Yes do it. It isn't for long really, as she is in year 5, and your daughter in law and son seem fine with any changes to the routine like holidays, being unwell etc.

Of course you should. We have our DGD 3/4 times a week. She’s dropped off at 7.30 by which time I’m up and showered.
I’m finding the extra hours am are so useful. What I did have to do was adjust my going to bedtime. Good luck. I think your DIL will think you are an angel when you offer...

I think a trial makes sense. Would it be possible for you to help on three days a week so you can have a calm morning before yoga and another morning for PJ slobbing?

Just as a matter of interest, I wonder how parents will manage in ten or twenty years when, as someone mentioned earlier, grandparents will be working until they're much older. Many of the family 'safety nets' which operate now may disappear.

Yes. and if you want to go on holiday or cannot do it, I'm sure she can make another arrangement. We all have to chip in these days. Life can be difficult and stressful in so many ways that we never experienced. Anything to help your DS and DiL will be appreciated.