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I worry she has no playmates

(86 Posts)
Foxglove77 Mon 18-Nov-19 14:17:09

I look after my only GD whilst my DD works full time.

My GD is 3 and there are no other toddlers in our family. We live in a rural area and again no neighbours have toddlers.

We have lots of fun together baking, drawing, crafting and walking etc but I felt it would be nice for her to play with other toddlers. So with DDs agreement we went to a local Mother and Toddler group. GD loved it and quickly made friends. All good.

However the last visit there were toddlers with colds and unfortunately GD caught a nasty cold which she passed onto her parents.

Their jobs are safety critical and they cannot take any form of meds. They also stand to lose attendance allowance if they have any time off.

So I stopped taking GD for a while. Then another group started nearby and I mentioned it. GD picked up on this and really wanted to go. We went and again she enjoyed it. Then I noticed at story time the toddler next to her had a cold and again GD became ill which she passed onto parents.

DD has asked that I don't take her anymore which of course I will respect.

We realize that this will be an issue when she does mix with other school children but she is not due to start infant school for 2 years.

Am I right to worry about her lack of playmates? Any suggestions would be great.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:11:09

I will ask my question again making sure I use the exact title Why are you so anti and angry sounding about playgroups Notanan You ve now made 16 posts in this thread

You are directly asking me to post and then criticising me for posting???

BlueBelle Mon 18-Nov-19 20:09:30

I will ask my question again making sure I use the exact title Why are you so anti and angry sounding about playgroups Notanan You ve now made 16 posts in this thread
If the child doesn’t mix with other children either in a nursery, playgroup, early years , or any other toddler group experience simply because she’s not allowed to catch colds then she will simply catch them all in her first year at primary school plus more
I think the parents are being very short sighted and a bit selfish to deny her socialisation with peers and need to rethink their parenting

agnurse Mon 18-Nov-19 20:09:25

I think what we all have to keep in mind here is that it is not OP's decision as to what is in the best interests of her GC. That is left to the parents.

Choosing not to enroll a child in a nursery, playgroup, preschool, etc. at 3 years old does not constitute child abuse or neglect.

Therefore, there is nothing to discuss, really.

Kathy1959 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:06:33

She is out when she’s at your house. Don’t worry about it, she’ll have plenty of time to pick up and spread viruses when she goes to school! My GC always enjoyed being with me, and I really don’t think they’re as bothered about other children as we think. As long as you’re all right and coping, just enjoy ?

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:05:01

Vaccination is not at all the same as contagious exposure. Not at all.

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 20:03:58

there is a vaccine against whooping cough if parents take the offer up.
I thought you would know that.

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 20:03:29

they have a vaccine against chickenpox which is not routinely offered in the UK, which I think would be a good idea.

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 20:03:02

[sigh]

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:02:11

There is no benifit to exposing a child to chickenpox or whooping cough!

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 20:02:09

scarletina; slap cheek; hand, foot and mouth; fifth disease

The list goes on.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:00:18

I dont live in a city either what has that got to do with it?

Preschools can no longer be run with the informality of what used to be known as "playgroups". This isnt regional. The word now means something different. Times change. Co-op and voluntary preschools still exist but are called preschools.

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 19:58:21

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

M0nica Mon 18-Nov-19 19:56:46

Thank you Callistemon I am a country bumpkin, we do things differently here.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 19:54:13

You may be too young to remember those days.

I remember having one of them (which is now commonly vaccinated against) and my body remains weakened by it to this day!

Luckily I wasnt as small as the Ops GC when I got it so survived.

What has this got to do with the OPs GC though?

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 19:51:32

Meeting Europeans and their diseases for the first time has wiped out many in some civilisations because they had not developed any immunity.

Including babies. None of those civilisations would have fayred better had they been infants.

The differences in survival of these illnesses were mainly about genetics not early exposure

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 19:50:08

Well, we obviously have vaccinations nowadays, which we did not have when I was a child notanan.
I never said that it was good to be exposed to those - merely that that is what we encountered at primary school.

You may be too young to remember those days.

But argue away as you wish.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 19:49:54

Exposure to normal germs/bacteria being good does not = exposure to disease and illnesses and viruses being good.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 19:48:04

Along, of course, with measles, mumps, whooping cough, chicken pox etc as we progressed through primary school.
None of which are "better" to be exposed to as a preschooler than as a school child. All are best completely avoided. None make your immune system stronger!

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 19:47:51

Meeting Europeans and their diseases for the first time has wiped out many in some civilisations because they had not developed any immunity.

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 19:45:45

Ours is called 'Early Years'
It's not a drop-in event, they have to be registered, but there are lots of other voluntary groups

Not all of us live in a metropolitan bubble

wait till she’s at school with nits and colds and everything else doing the rounds is she not going to be allowed friends
Oh yes - "Keep your head away from anyone else's head just case!!"

notanan2 but much the same could be said about the first year of primary school. Presumably you wouldn't stop a child going there. They are eventually going to encounter those bugs.
The bugs all used to be saved for the first year of primary school as nurseries etc were not so prevalent years ago.
Along, of course, with measles, mumps, whooping cough, chicken pox etc as we progressed through primary school.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 19:27:03

Co-op or voluntary preschools these days are just called preschools.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 19:26:10

That's a playgroup/baby carer group so!

M0nica Mon 18-Nov-19 19:21:46

I can only go on what I see advertised in my local village (in the UK) and the toddler and carer group is very much a casual drop in session, run in a very different from any other form of childcare.

The website says: Tursdays 9.30am to 11.30am. Tea/coffee/juice and biscuits.£2.00 per adult/2 children No more information is given but posters round the village make it clear that it is very much a drop-in event.

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 19:00:17

In the old days "play groups" were run like voluntary preschools.

These days you will rarely see the title "mother and toddler" group. If you go to a "playgroup" it will be parents with their children. Some are structured some are not.

Do keep up if you are going to accuse others of not knowing what they are talking about...

notanan2 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:57:39

Your definitions are either a bit outdated Monica or else not UK centric. These days playgroup has replaced the "mother and toddler" title and are used interchangably