I’m simply fuming! Am I being unkind?

This isn't an anti-man thread. We should be a sisterhood who consoles those married to grumpy old men. If my women friends were as cheerless as my husband I'd have ditched them long ago.

My late husband was the sweetest, kindest person (when he was well). The only exception to that was when he couldn't find something. He'd get in a real nasty strop and insist that he'd looked 'everywhere' - so it was my fault. He was bloody hopeless at finding things!

Hi, I'm sorry things seem to be deteriorating. I think you should talk to him about this when he's calm and so are you. I would read your post to him and ask him what he thinks. Book a hearing test and you can also get a scan if you want for his brain done...I'd try to tackle this by expressing concern by his change of humour.

If you don't mind, what kind of business were you in? I'm 34 and I'm lost right now and needing to do something with my life business wise. I'm always curious what amazingly successful people do. Thank you.

This behaviour might just be due to stress because of the move and the process of selling your house.

What had he done with the file you originally gave him?

It sounds a little to me as if you have taken the line of least resistance over the years and tried to ignore his temper. To a certain extent I think nearly all wives do, or have done this.

Now is perhaps the time to sit him down and tell him how disagreeable you find this habit of his. He might just be able to change a little if you told him kindly how exasperating you find his bad moods.

I disagree with posters saying "it's men". Its not. It's aggressive men or ill men.

Im sorry for anyone who has become so used to that sort of behaviour that they think its normal.

Agree with GP check. But if all is fine, boundaries need to be set. He shouldnt get to "ruin" things!

Sounds like he has Victor Meldrew syndrome. It must be frustrating but may be easier to just do it all again yourself.

My husband imperceptibly changed to being horrible and cross and distant. It coincided with my son and his wife and young son moving back in with us so I and my son thought it was due to those stresses. BUT it turned out that he had stage 4 colon cancer and his haemoglobin level was 5 instead of 13. He wasn’t diagnosed for a long time. I am not suggesting your husband has some thing so extreme wrong with him, I certainly hope not, but men do like to be the strong silent type. Get him to the doctors for a check up.

He probably came home from golf because of waterlogging! Mine is currently finding fewer places of escape. Poor old buggers.

How old is he? Sorry to sound nosy, but it could be relevant as paperwork does sometimes seem overwhelming in later life.

And I believe we Can change. Not the core of who we are but to "tweak" things and listen to each other's needs. If either one of us wasn't willing then why are we together?

My husband and I go to a therapist for couples' counseling. This is after 33 years of marriage. It has helped immensely and we are communicating much better. We want to be happy together. It's a thought. Please don't just assume it's him and just him. Men are just as sensitive and need to be heard. I don't always agree with him, and vice versa but hearing him say he is here for me and loves me is just wonderful. I hope you can figure out what's going on

well said soda.

I think a lot of men are like this; mine has always been quick tempered, always right, can never find things these days, doesnt listen,or has selective hearing.
Its not easy, your Husband Abuelana may need a check up,for early dementia,if he will go to the Doctor, thats another mens thing, they will not visit the Doctor.

I have it all the time. When my DH got particularly bad last year Impersuaded him to go some counselling with me - he didn’t want to go but it helped massively with our communication skills!

find the paperwork yourself. and deal with it all yourself. You are not his secretary.

And some people turning it into a Loose Women anti men thread. Not all men are like this in the same way as not all women are perfect.

My experience of male golfers which is significant as Lady Captain is that golf makes them all very grumpy as none of them are as good as they want to be. The courses are saturated at the moment so he probably thought better of playing especially if it was pouring as it always seems to be at the moment and/or his partners may have let him down. But I think its the house move one of the most stressful things you can do. Hopefully this will blow over.

If he's always been like it he's unlikely to change now.

And they say women are the hysterical ones. There may well be a health issue here. But some men find it difficult to express distress, anxiety, fear, unhappiness in any way other than anger. Older men especially were brought up not to cry, not to show weakness. They were taught to suppress these expressions of emotion from a very young age.

This thread has turned into a grump against men! There is no need for men to become like this or for women to tolerate it.

I’d suggest a check up with the dr too as others have suggested especially when you say he’s forgetting things and his temper worsened over the last yeAr, of course it needn’t be a health condition at all, but the change would concern me knowing we had a close family member with dementia and it started like this

Is it possible that he doesn’t really want to move house? The whole business can be very stressful, I know from my own experience. Have you found a property you want to buy?
I found it terribly stressful and vowed never again.
Does the change in his behavior fit in with the timing of the moving process?

My son has done something similar (without the golf) over paperwork that was important. He found it in the glovebox in his car after all! He's in his thirties!

Our house is up for sale and we didn't have to supply any paperwork to the new or old agent, doesn’t that comes later to the solicitor.

I would take that as an apology and showing trust in you rather than him to look after the paperwork! What is it about men over sixty? Grrrrgh!