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I'm so cross

(82 Posts)
wildswan16 Wed 04-Dec-19 08:18:35

To be fair, your coughing probably does disturb him but he understands you can't help it and doesn't make an issue of it.

I think many of us mutter things in our sleepy state. Just let it go. It's not as if he woke up and yelled it at you.

EllaKeat Wed 04-Dec-19 06:12:29

My DH sometimes snores, very loudly.
If he wakes me, or I should say when he wakes me, I have been known to angrily say ffs before dramatically sweeping the quilt aside and stomping off to the spare room.
I love the bones of him - it is a knee jerk reaction brought on by being unfairly woken. If he was swearing at you through the day like that for disturbing his sleep, that would be very different!

In all kindness, you need to let this go - it really means nothing.

Ginny42 Wed 04-Dec-19 06:01:23

You were tired too and possibly feeling more tetchy than usual. He probably won't remember saying it. When we're tired we're not our normal selves.

I live alone now, but if I were you I wouldn't even mention it. Just try to accept it as out of character and sleep in the spare room for a while. Try to persuade him to get something to curb his snoring. I hope your cough doesn't turn out the be permanent.

BlueBelle Wed 04-Dec-19 05:42:11

Actually I think you are being, not unreasonable, but over sensitive I d imagine he probably said it automatically without any thought, and half in his sleep
You both seem to sleep badly why not have a few nights in the spare room so you can both get a few nights proper sleep
If he d said it to you in broad daylight and fully alert I d share your annoyance but in this instance I d let it go you asked him if you’d woken him and he didn’t answer don’t you think he was back in ?land by then or desperately trying to get into it
No point in being angry, being woken when you’re trying to get to sleep or are in a deep sleep makes anyone say anything
No fault on either side just have a few nights apart to try and catch up

Liz46 Wed 04-Dec-19 05:05:27

It's probably a pretty common problem. I have had a serious problem with my lungs which means that I cough. I was very bad for over a year and went into the spare room but my husband wanted me back in our room.

He snores and I cough! Yes, we disturb each other. I would just let the ffs go if I were you and maybe discuss if you would be better in separate rooms for a few nights? It could give you both a chance to think about whether or not you would both sleep better.

Alima Wed 04-Dec-19 04:48:36

Morning Coolgran65, early isn’t it? No, I don’t think you are being over sensitive. You both sound tired. You say you have a spare room, sounds like the way to go, then you could both get the maximum amount of sleep. I cannot blame DH for me being awake now, it is my awful sleep pattern. We have had separate rooms for a while now, my coughing and fidgeting. His snoring. Works much better this way.

Coolgran65 Wed 04-Dec-19 04:25:55

I don't sleep great, a couple of hours at a time. Usually I'm up for 2 or 3 hours in the middle of the night and sometimes when I go back to bed I go to the spare room so as to try and not disturb my dh too much, sometimes I go back into our bed. Dh understands this. If I would ask did I disturb you much, he'd say No it's ok. I also now have a cough that is likely to be permanent.

Recently my dh hasn't been sleeping well. Awaking several times during the night and taking ages to get back over. He says it's not to do with my comings and goings. He snores.

Tonight I just about awoke myself with a cough and heard my dh muttering ffs.....

I am so cross because I don't say anything when he snores. If his snoring gets too much I just go to the spare room.

Am I wrong to feel cross about his ffs? I don't want to put this into AIBU because that could make it seem a bigger issue than it is. But on the other hand I do feel he was being pretty passive aggressive.....and didn't expect me to hear him say it.

I asked did I wake you and there was no answer, i didn't want to make an issue of his ffs in the middle of the night about his ffs especially if it's just me being over sensitive.
At the minute I'm spitting feathers and feel I want to say to him about it tomorrow.

Usually if we have broken sleep we can lie in but not today as dgc is coming at 8am for childcare.

Am I bring over sensitive at his muttered ffs?