Visit to grandchildren

I’m sorry your grandson is behaving like this. Sometimes children find the transition to full- time school difficult. They may be well- behaved at school, but take their frustrations out at home. The first thing is to make sure that he is getting enough sleep. A regular bedtime routine- bath, story, warm drink, will help him settle. Then perhaps one on one time with a parent will reassure him that he is loved, perhaps doing something like playing with construction toys, going to the park, helping prepare the evening meal. It’s hard not to get angry, but try to remain calm. Tell him that it is his behaviour that they do not like, but that they love him, and praise him when he is doing something positive.

Sounds as though the older child is jealous of the younger one still being at home whilst he is at school, so plays up to get attention when he comes home. Also might be why they fight a lot.

I would highly recommend this one Marie Eliza

How about asking your son? I am sure he has an idea.

I wouldn't gift them any parenting book, unless your son requests it.
While your intentions are good, it might come accross as unwanted advice or that you do not approve of their parenting and they need your guidance.

Thank you, our son asked for advice. There are 2 books by this author, one with children in title and one with ‘boys’ I may try the latter

Does your son have time to read the books?

Parents of young kids have to carve time to take care of their own needs (a shower, for example is sometimes hard to schedule in your day), so anything that requires concentration for more than 10 minutes is hard to carry out.

Tiredness (especially after school) is a common cause of "bad" behaviour. Make sure he is getting enough sleep, and that things are kept simple and calm when arriving home from school. Make sure the little one knows that something nice is going to happen when his brother gets home - maybe making a small sandwich for a snack together.

Your son also needs not to be stressed. Children are frequently hard work. It is a part of life. Parents need to stay calm and matter-of-fact about issues. (Not easy to do I know.)

I don’t think ‘talking to him ‘ will do much good. He has to learn that ‘ good’ behaviour leads to lots of praise ( being specific about what he has done to earn the praise), and that ‘bad’ behaviour is unacceptable, and has consequences.

Hithere

I would have a shower when the children are in bed, surely that would be the time to schedule it in?

MarieEliza, the book about raising boys is good but I would urge either you or your son to have a look at the principles outlined in the book I suggested. It looks at getting the behaviour you want from your children in a really calm way. As the children are under 5 this isn't likely to be a gender issue. I understood your post to mean that your son had asked for help

Hithere, I would ask you...... does the son have time NOT to read books? Addressing behavioural issues at this stage sets clear boundaries and makes life easier for everyone.

You can address any issues many other ways that are not only by reading books: audio books, talking to a professional/teachers/etc, watching educational videos online....

Our DS was a very difficult child at home but always well behaved in school and when we were out.

The head of his primary school told us not to worry too much, it's when they are badly behaved in school that you should be concerned.

Not much comfort for your son and d.i.l. but it may give them some reassurance.

There are lots of things they can try for example a star chart that plots his good behaviour and a reward is given when a certain number of stars is reached. Bad behaviour can mean a star is taken off the board but for him (hopefully) seeing that there are still stars on the chart can be an incentive.

@calendargirl

Yes, unless you have Velcro babies with a mommy gpd radar that goes off when she is 20 ft away from baby

Not all parents are the same, not all kids are the same either.

GPS, not gpd

When my kids were little, my son used to misbehave terribly at home, but was always well behaved at school, or when at someone else's house, as long as I wasn't present. I'm pretty sure he didn't like the fact that I had to divide my attention between him and his younger sister. He was also very active, and wanted to be doing something all the time, but when you also have a younger child to care for, it's not always easy to give them both the attention they deserve/want/need.

He was happiest when he was kept fully occupied, and loved it when he had time with his daddy, rambling in the local woods, being very interested in nature, and has always been a mind of information since he was little. The more attention he had, doing things that kept him occupied and interested, the better behaved he was. After worrying about his behaviour, and stressing about what he may be like when he reached his teenage years, he actually grew up to be a lovely young man ... you wouldn't think he was the same person!Lol

It's difficult for young parents to find the time, with jobs and homes to run, and other children to take care of, but it reaps rewards the more time you are able to give attention to the kiddies. Not an easy task though these days!