Christmas is a relief from lonliness for some. With scattered families it can be the only time most are free to congregate and feel "together" which can be a comfort after a tough year....
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Is it time to rethink Christmas?
(103 Posts)Given that for most people the religious element has gone from Christmas, apart from maybe 9 lessons and carols from King's College, isn't it time that we re think Christmas?
For the first few years after leaving home I went back at Christmas. Mid twenties my boyfriend (now DH) and I went away for a few days with friends or got together with friends. His parents preferred to go to an hotel for their Christmas. As they (and we) got older we started visiting them again or they would visit us.
I remember one year some time after my FIL was widowed and a couple of friends came with the mother of one who had been widowed for many years. We all have fond memories of my FIL being chivalrous and mildly flirtatious with our friend's mother.
People make such a big deal of it when really it is just another day. I understand completely the joy and pleasure to be gained when one's GC are young because it can be a magical occasion. However, it seems to me that it often ends in disappointment. Mixing 3 generations doesn't always work. Some people are very lucky and have a wonderful time, for others it's not so good.
So, why not get together with friends who are also on their own or use the time to meet new people? Help the Aged (may not be their name now) organise social events. It's not necessary to do the whole meal oneself but to suggest that everyone contributes a dish.
I was prompted to write this post after reading another one today from a lady who felt very sad because she was on her own. If I was to make a New Year's wish it would be that there aren't so many sad posts next Christmas.
I think the case if Christmas just highlights loneliness. No one would want to be alone at Christmas but it’s a sad fact of life. I’ wouldn’t want to do away with Christmas as it’s a special time for me and my family and I count my blessings.
It is the big celebration of the year in a culture that lacks celebrations compared with other countries.
The end of December is the darkest time of the year and after it can only get better. That symbolism of moving from darkness into light is present in all religions, current and historic and no less valid because of that.
I like giving and receiving presents and having treats to eat! One of the few times in the year when the whole family gets together. We take it in turns with the in laws so no-one misses out. We also had a game guessing who the famous person was! DD1’s MIL got a bit worried when she heard the word quiz so we decided to make it a team effort. We had a great Christmas Day and a quiet Boxing Day. Fortunately the two babies are very sociable and enjoyed the extra attention especially from their two older cousins.
Nah I love presents and food. Hope shmope!
It's time to relieve Xmas of the burden of presents and all the nuisance stuff like over eating, unless of course you enjoy cooking and wrapping parcels.
The rebirth of hope is what the religious story means and so it is very wrong to let this symbolism die. The rebirth of hope is the only good thing about Xmas.
The main celebration doesn't have to be on Christmas day either. My DIL is Lithuanian and the big day there is Christmas Eve!
DD had a job that required Christmas day shifts. Like most employers hers tried to arrange shifts so that everyone was home on Christmas morning or Christmas afternoon. I think they all did half shifts.
Working over Christmas doesnt = no time off over christmas, it means the usual amount of time off duty. Unless its overseas. In which case Christmas can still be celebrated before and after, and on duty with colleagues
Well it's not true that people who work Christmas, don't celebrate it! There is still time off. Farmers do get to spend some time in their houses. Emergency workers get to go home at the end of their shifts, and rotate who is on duty on Christmas day! And its a holiday season anyway, working the 25th doesnt mean there are no celebrations
all the farmers I know
You obviously know best notanan!!
A friend of mine found themselves on their own this Christmas. The daughter who had invited him to stay was very unwell and cancelled her invitation, leaving him totally unprepared a few days before Christmas. I felt very sorry for him but in actual fact he had a lovely time, went for some long walks, cooked himself a mini Christmas dinner from scratch and spent the time watching films, reading and just enjoying a few days of constructive solitude. Daughter is now better so he has been to see her this last weekend.
I'd much rather be on my own and enjoy a few indulgences than be invited as an add on to someone else's family Christmas or feel obliged to do something charitable.
Blinko I actually find those hearty family Christmas adverts really off putting. They are so false, so unlike real family Christmases and their prime purpose seems to be to advertise tables overloaded with processed food. Some of them actually make me feel physically nauseous as yet more and more food is brought out and you cannot see a single item you would want to eat and know that most of it is going to be thrown away uneaten.
I actually look at them and I am glad that I do not have Christmases like that.
Baby doesn’t get its nap - dinner will be ruined as it will grizzle all the way through getting passed around the adults taking it in turns to soothe it.
Baby gets nap - dinners a bit late but baby is happy munching on a carrot stick whilst adults get to eat in relative peace.
We’ve all been there.
There's your answer OP - we have ALL rethunk Christmas and, it seems, do so every year.
Poster says" that given for the most people the religious element has gone from Christmas." I would say if people still see Christmas as birth of Jesus and a celebration then no need to change that. It does not need to be OTT as after all remember the nativity and where in fact was Jesus born but in a lowly stable.
I make no big fuss and do not put my views on anyone I am Roman Catholic and happily celebrated at masses over the Christmas. I also saw how the other churches in my area were full of other religions celebrating for the Christmas story so I do think that many people still do put a religious take on Christmas.
Exactly the same as you Callistemon! I love quizzes but I’m rubbish at sport questions of any kind. And geography. I’m not so hot on tv either .... not sure why I enjoy them really! I obviously don’t mind losing.
No one would say ‘I want mum on my team’ Maw!
Those people still celebrate and enjoy Christmas Callisemon, especially if its their turn to be off. All the farmers I know certainly do celebrate Christnas
Lots of people are working over Christmas, maintaining essential services for our benefit, farmers who do not get time off etc.
Yes, that is what threw me. It is not as if we marked each other and had leagues.
Although, here it is confession time, we do print out the King Williams quiz www.theguardian.com/news/series/king-william-s-college-quiz each year, clip it to a clip board with a pencil (with little rubber top, for rubbing out errors). But that is just left lying around for people to do alone or in twos now and again over the season. We have never completed more than half of it, and that usually depends on one section being right down someones professional knowledge or special interest.
Blinko
Christmas isn’t only about family.
We lived in Hongkong for 11 years and during that time, there was only one Christmas when a family member could be with us. One year we flew home and divided our time between DM and DMil.
The other years we spent with friends and in the latter years, our growing families of little ones. We had lovely times together.
This year, for various reasons, none of our AC could spend Christmas with us. But we invited two single friends for Christmas Day and we all enjoyed the meal and the company.
If someone is on their own at Christmas and doesn’t want to be, is it really so difficult to find someone else in a similar position and invite them to pool resources?
It's just marketing.
Some of today's adverts are totally irrelevant to many of us, I am left wondering what it was about and what did I miss?
In response to an earlier post, Christmas is always massively promoted as a huge family get together. That's why those who don't or can't spend it with family feel left out.
I just wish these tv adverts didn't persist with the glowing family thing when for some of us, lots of us actually, it isn't like that at all.
Their answer ?
Apparently you can play Trivial Pursuit with Alexa.
If no-one else is willing!
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