No kissing my baby

I think the issue about kissing babies and children is much wider than cold sores. It is about you making the rules you are happy with for your child. You have made everyone aware of how you feel which is great it is right to be direct.

Thanks Luckygirl

Indeed Dragonlover - it is an unpleasant thing to have and is a lifelong nuisance.

I do not think the OP is being unreasonable at all - her in-laws seem to be rife with this virus and of course she wants to try and avoid her baby getting this. I do not think she needs to talk about small potential dangerous outcomes or the relatives will simply say that they have it and nothing so awful has happened. But she does need to say very clearly that she recognises what a lifelong pain cold sores are and that her decision is that she wishes to take steps to avoid this if possible.

If her family do not agree then more fool them - they are likely to see very little of this baby!

To those who say that the world is full of germs the baby needs to get used to, I entirely agree. But where there is an obvious source of an infection that is lifelong then it makes sense to take steps to avoid it.

All power to her elbow - and good luck with the in-laws!

Thank you, endlessstrife I think the welfare of my kid should come first before people's feelings. Obviously, I try not to be unkind about it.

Oh, I'll reply in bold, then. The @ symbol isn't working for me.

Of course you don't want your baby to ever have cold sores. Fast forward a few years to school age. It would be terrible for the child to be treated as a pariah by others every time she had a sore, not to mention they are painful and forever opening up just after they start healing.

Her username is ladymuck....

Hi I'm a cold sore suffer,I have passed it on to some of my four children. I know better now and am extremely carefully with the Gran children.It might seem a small thing,but it has a lifetime effect.

and when your baby grows up and goes to daycare and school are you going to send it with a list of rules? I am not saying don't be aware and careful but kids get germs, you may protect them from your inlaws and then in five years time she goes and shares lunch with another kid with cold sores, or gets spit from a friends toys. you will drive yourself crazy at this rate.

Surely the most important thing is 1) something is worrying you - it could be about anything 2) you want your folks to take your worries seriously. You don’t want them kissing your baby. It is your new little baby. Irrelevant whether they agree, if you and the father want no kisses, no kisses it (politely) is. If you are having to make up stories it is because you are not being listened to. They need to take you seriously and your feelings irrespective of their own opinions. Meanwhile your worries may move on to other threats to your baby and maybe you will need help with your anxieties. Motherhood can be terrifying....

@phoenix www.nbcnews.com/id/35989527/ns/health-oral_health/t/moms-kiss-can-spread-cavities-baby/#.XhsG2Hd2s5s And if a mother's saliva can do this, go figure other people's...

I always thought it was those gobstoppers which did for mine!

Don’t back down and live to regret it. Stick to your guns

swapping saliva leads to tooth decay Really? How on earth did we all manage to reach adulthood with our own teeth. Sorry but that sounds pretty obsessive to me. Relax a little, your baby will be fine.

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

Naty you say your in-laws don't respect your culture

May I point out gently that old saying of St Augustine 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do', apt as you live in Italy and married into an Italian family. You may have to be more flexible, not expect them to make all the changes and find a middle way.

However, that should not include anyone kissing your baby on the mouth who has a cold sore, flu or anything else which could make your baby sick.

Loops, my apologies naty. Thanks for letting me know Maggiemaybe, I genuinely hadn't spotted that.

Which is why we have two conventions- one using @ and the other, writing the username in bold
Saves misunderstandings.

The poster naty’s replying to is actually called ladymuck, Chewbacca.

Hello Naty I haven’t read any replies, so sorry if this is repetitive. Firstly, I never put peoples feelings before the welfare of my children. Cold sores are horrible, all my husband’s family had them, probably because there was no education around them years ago. Some people are susceptible, because the virus hangs around in them, a bit like the chicken pox virus. They are both stimulated by stress, and other factors, such as a low immunity. There’s no reason why they couldn’t kiss her over her clothes, but she should come first....always. I would, and did do, what you want to do, but despite that, one of my four children gets them too! Good luck.

Lady muck???

You posted here to seek advice and then, when you get some that you don't agree with, you address a poster rudely?
Not pleasant naty.

But I'm super vigilant now that my baby is here and her immunity is weak.

No obsessions with cold sores. I married DH, right? He's got them every now and then.

I tend not to kiss babies too, dragonfly46..but well before I knew about cold sores. I guess I already felt close to them because I could hold their entire body in my arms.

I'll take your advice, Urmstongran