No kissing my baby

My mother suffered from cold sores, but managed to avoid spreading the virus. My sisters and I were cuddled and kissed, but not when she had a cold sore.
My children gave and received kisses from her and neither of them have ever had one.
I think that perhaps you are being rather over cautious, but not unreasonable considering how contagious cold sores are.

I get cold sores, and definitely avoid kissing my grandchildren when I know ones coming, but otherwise give them lots of kisses. None of them has ever had a cold sore.

Not unreasonable, but maybe obsessive and hysterical. The 'no kissing' is a good idea, though. An awful lot of people have HSV-1 - and quite a lot have HSV-2:

www.onemedical.com/blog/live-well/herpes-facts

No, you are not being unreasonable. I'd be the same in your situation. In fact, I'd check with the doctor to see if it's advisable for the inlaws to handle the baby at all when they have a cold sore.

Does anybody actually kiss babies on the mouth?
I fail to see how saliva can get into a baby’s mouth from a kiss on the top of the head (which is what most people do)
Yes I do think you are being a fairly typical new mum, but don’t let your over-protectiveness tip over into paranoia.
This is another example of the tension you feel with with your in-laws, referring to your MIL as “beloved” says it all.
Fair enough to say no kisses, but you can’t wrap your baby in cotton wool throughout her toddler years or when she mixes with other children at nursery or pre-school. She will have to build up her own immune system once she outgrows the immunities she has through your breast milk.
She will develop snuffles, coughs, ear or chest infections and that is an absolutely normal part of growing up.
Cheer up - we’ve all been there!

I think that cold sores can be brought on by stress. I used to get them but have not had one since I retired over 10 years ago.
However, I have never kissed my grand children on their mouths. I usually kiss their forehead.

I think you're being wise. My husband suffered from cold sores because an aunt kissed him when he was a baby, (or so my MIL told me).
You can't be too fussy when it comes to baby's health.

I would never purposely kiss a baby on or near their mouth, but my one year old granddaughter loves to lunge at you with her big wet open mouthed kisses, hard to avoid!

Thank you for the answers!

My MIL is actually beloved and quite loving. I'm going through a period of boundary setting, though. I know it can't be easy for my husband's family, either.

I've never known anyone kiss a child on the mouth. Top of their head, cheeks or forehead, yes, but never their mouth.

They should not kiss the baby - and they should understand why - even though they are in their 70s!!

I am sure that they would not wish the baby to be similarly afflicted.

Cold sores can only be brought on by stress or anything else if you already harbour the virus - one is a cause, the pther a trigger.

Swapping saliva causes tooth decay and premature dental issues [h

I think you’re absolutely right Naty. I was very protective of my baby and particularly hated the way people would put their fingers out for her to clutch in her tiny little hand - which she would then put in her mouth. Therefore, as a grandmother I am really really sensitive about this sort of thing. I do feel for you though - it’s hard to get your wishes across without appearing churlish. Good luck.

Posted too soon.

Naty you have your facts muddled, and that is the polite way of putting it!

My husband suffers (occasionally these days) from cold sores and he was always most particular not to kiss me or our children during an outbreak. I didn't actually realise they were that infectious when we met! He said he would hate to pass the virus on, and hasn't, for which I am thankful.
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

Please correct me, phoenix

There is a very effective remedy to stop cold sores starting and deal with them if they've already erupted.

Tea Tree Oil. Get some for your family and in-laws, it will help them enormously.

Sadly, some people do kiss their own and other children on the mouth and it's not something I would ever allow, simply because of the germ issues.

If you need a weapon in your stand not to kiss on the mouth, get a leaflet about meningitis.

Haha, Hetty! So I CAN be reasonable while being obsessive and hysterical!

Sorry Naty cba at present, but if you Google it you will see.

The way I understand it is that the virus is only contagious from when the cold sore weeps or bursts until it heals (so not when it's only just appearing).

Dangerous complications only happen to vulnerable newborns and people who are already ill with compromised immune systems. As most adults have HSV-1, it would seem to be harmless (although irritating) in general.

I've googled it, phoenix.

It could very well be pesky and unsightly once or twice a year...but it could also come back weekly to ravage my daughter's self confidence in her teen and adult years. If I can prevent it, I will.

I don't mind the mild cases, but aside from being not being great aesthetically, it could harm my kid at this phase in her little life.

But yes, I am being a bit obsessive at the moment, because the in-laws are being avoidant and sticking their heads in the sand, making me that much more dogged and determined.

Naty - this is the same “beloved” MIL about whom you have started threads about dropping by unannounced on a daily basis?

We live 400 meters away from them and my MIL is frequently walking by on her way to grocery shop and other errands. She comes right up to the windows and looks in to see if I'm home...it's getting me upset because this can be any time during the day and I'm on mat-leave
You sounded well stressed-out and ticked-off with her in that thread.
As for making up a story about a friend’s child developing meningitis from the herpes virus - talking about crying wolf!
I assume you do know the difference between HSV1 and HSV2?

Yes! That's me! And yes, I was ticked off. Can I not be mad at someone and love them at the same time? We are all flawed individuals.

And yes, I know the difference between HSV1 and HSV2.

And yes, I'm crying wolf because the in-laws are very stubborn and have strange ideas at times (i.e. standing in front of a fan can make you ill/drinking water with ice will give you gastro distress/if your stomach is uncovered you'll get diareah..). My husband told me I could use that story, but it has actually happened to other people's children. I just said it was someone I knew to make the story hit closer to home.