I can’t see anything in your post that suggests you have a cleaner at the moment etc..
I would first stop doing anything for him, if he wishes to lead separate lives then so be it, there isn’t a lot you can say to change his mind, it seems you have tried this and it doesn’t work.
If you have friends and a good relationship with your children you have the ability to live your own life.
I would just cook for yourself, just clear up after yourself and wash just your own clothes. I would insist that if he won’t clean the house on a 50/50 split you both employ a cleaner to do this.
These things may kickstart a new side to him or confirm that you are indeed living separate lives.
Scentia Sat 18-Jan-20 09:01:51
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