What can we do to help?

If only1 ??

Coo marmight are you 55? I'm quite a bit older than you.

I don't find GN particularly cliquey but I do find there are a number of posters who think their opinion is the only one and any attempt to discuss is totally rebuffed i.e. no one else can possibly have a valid opinion. In RL I avoid these characters like the plague as I do on GN.
I appear to have an innate ability to kill posts stone dead. Does it bother me? Not a jot.
I’ve been with GN since its start. I’d never participated in an on-line platform before. Hadn't a clue what to do so just got on with it which is what most of us, I assume, do. Within months of joining I was suddenly widowed and GN folk wrapped themselves around me and got me through a very bleak period and we see this kindliness daily on GN.
It’s good to welcome new members and help them along the way but I really see no real need to ‘nanny’ them.
Just watch for a bit, choose a subject, comment & see how it goes then be brave, take the plunge and start a new post. We've all done it! As Elegran says, it’s akin to starting school as a 5 year old only add on half a century+! If you experience adverse reactions from some people, just ignore them and move on. They are the losers!

I don't know, Lara; there is already a thread where new posters can introduce themselves and be welcomed.

Short of joining in a few nice threads, answering posts in a positive way and advising posters to joint in, I'm not sure what advice you could give.

Everyone gets ignored from time to time, everyone 'kills' a thread or thinks that they do. It's only from being on GN for a while, joining in, that posters realise that they're not the only ones who do this.

Some people do join asking for advice and don't receive the responses they want so say they are leaving again. If the advice was thoughtful and worth considering, there's not a lot posters can do to help.

I doubt that anyone is so thick-skinned that personal attacks and name calling doesn't affect them and perhaps that is why some have left over the years.

Dare I suggest that it is not only “new” members who can be put off by personal attacks?
We have lost many members over the years and I often wonder if they felt it was just not worth the hassle.

Natasha perhaps I could be permitted to make a suggestion.
New members could be advised that they read posts properly and make sure they have got hold of the right end of the stick, before launching into a personal attack on another member.

Can't honestly say I'm keen on being called a "sensitive soul". (Probably because I'm not one)

rafichagran

Of course I was not stirring up other posters to attack you! Your post spoke for itself. It was a name-calling attack on another poster because you seemed to have misunderstood what she was saying.

Hooray, we feel the same. I do not care about what posters think of me, and they will lose no sleep over me. All square then.
Funny if I say anything it is insults. Well I have read a post today where a OP was called Ignorant and Racist, but thats ok, the poster I am sure wont get the backlash I have.
Anyway day of work today, and want to enjoy it, have a good day everyone.

What has someones intelligence got to do with it?

Well Rafichagran to call someone ignorant is pretty much tantamount to denying their intelligence.
It also says by definition somebody doesn't know and if you have read posts by janesainsworth, Callistemon and elegran over the years you would realise that you are way off-beam there.
However, enough - I cannot imagine anybody is losing any sleep over your insults, but how does that square with your concern for “the sensitive souls”, I wonder.

You could make it a rule that everyone changes their GN name every two weeks, then there would be no chance of belonging to a clique.

Hello, everyone. I am new to gransnet, about two weeks ago. I’ve only posted once, and had two helpful replies. The rest of the time, I’ve just been reading. I picked this thread because I thought it appropriate for me, being a “beginner”. I can’t say I’ve particularly picked up cliqueiness, as I don’t “know” people yet, but I did read Jane’s post in the same way as a couple of other posters. It does sound like she’s saying not to worry about a certain group of people, and it would make me a little nervous about posting. I’m sure she didn’t mean it to sound like that, but in my view, that’s how it came across. I’m still looking forward to being more involved on future threads.

Maw I know what I read and still feel the same. The question was asked and Lara was told not to worry about the sensitive souls. Please do not try and dig me out after some of the insults I have read on Gransnet.
What has someones intelligence got to do with it?
Please do not say because this is a anonymous thread I would not say this in RL and it lacks manners. I would say it, and I own what I say.
I was expecting this reaction and from the posters who posted so you did not disappoint.
As for Callisimon saying she did not report me because she wanted other posters to see and evaluate, well if it was so bad it should be deleted. No she just wanted to s... stir and see other posters pile into me. Well she can sit back and smile now as she got the reaction she wanted, and I expected.
There is another post on Gransnet where someone called someone Ignorant and Racist, let's see if they get the same criticism I am getting.
If you are all so offended get my post deleted.

Colourcoding new members for the first few would also highlight the occasional twerp who joins purely to stir it with a provocative post and then watch the fireworks.

Could new posters by colourcoded for a certain length of time, or for their first five or ten posts, or whatever? That would distinguish them. Some forums have the number of times the poster had posted against their username.

There are so many Gransnet members, and so many different subjects that they could be posting on, that it is impossible to know whether a poster is new, or just someone who posts a lot on a topic you don't visit. I have seen an unfamiliar name greeted as a newby and welcomed - only to reply that they have been posting for the last three years.

Yes, it's cliquey, but that reflects RL. I think that a long list of dos and don'ts will put new people off posting. I certainly think that when posts are directed at new members suggesting that they should not post until they know how things are done around here is not helpful. Posts get missed when they are in the active thread for a short time. Personally I just skim the active thread for posts that interest me or have few replies as I assume they are new. I wonder if it's possible to highlight new posts? Or maybe there should be fewer categories? Might help generating wider discussion.

I wouldn't necessarily say it cliquey, maybe that's a an insividuals way of looking at it if they're not included, as someone has already said.

However, in the AIBU forum I have noticed some comments are quite vehement in their response, NOT helpful when someone is genuinely "reaching out" for support. Like my mum use to say " if you can't say something nice, keep your mouth shut"! Just saying.

Maw. ?
I viewed janeainsworth's post , not as a nasty one, but quite matter of fact and sensible.

As I have said before, we cannot read, nor comment on every post by every single poster. It's impossible. That's doesn't mean a poster is being ignored when people don't comment on their post , just that people may not have time nor the inclination to respond.

Good post maw.

I have skimmed through this and hope that Rafichagran you are feeling less angry.
I can’t let your unkind and unjustified attack on janeainsworth go unchallenged however.
Lara ignore janeainsworthshe is a ignorant woman, how dare she make that last comment about other posters and tell you not to worry about people who feel left out . She is the sort of poster that make people not want to post on Gransnet
I think this is a prime example of getting the wrong end of the stick and proceeding to beat an intelligent, informed and well-respected poster about the head with it.
That sort of hostility could easily make a person think “Why should I bother to go online to be insulted by someone I have never met and who doesn’t know me “
Does anonymity free people from the normal conventions of good manners ? We are urged to “play the ball not the (wo)man” - why is this so often ignored?
Too often GN descends into the sort of vituperative personal spats which do nobody any credit.

Gosh! I’ve been out all evening having a nice time.
Thank you for your support and kind words Elegran and Callistemon.

If someone has read some threads before posting themselves they will have seen that quotes from previous posts are often printed in italics, which is done by putting a ^ at each end. (in any case, reading before jumping in is a good way of finding out what you are getting into, and seeing a few names and attitudes)

Perhaps it could be listed down there where it says about bold etc that these ^ ^ are generally used instead of quotation marks, to show someone else's post is being quoted.

I have been on GN about 4 or 5 years I think and enjoy it. You just have to go in and keep going, other GN will then get to know you over time. We are a large community with different values and experience but I have found, that despite the verbal scrapes, we are very supportive of each other in times of need.

The only advice I would give to new GN is if you post and you get replies you don't like or agree with, then say so, stand your ground but nicely.