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What can we do to help?

(193 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 22-Jan-20 16:27:56

On this thread a few of you mentioned that you felt cliquiness could be putting new posters off. We obviously want everyone to feel comfortable posting on Gransnet - old or new - without feeling they have to be part of any group. Is there anything we could do from our end to improve things? We're all ears...
And thank you everyone who contributed to the earlier thread. Sending virtual wine over to you all.

Callistemon Thu 23-Jan-20 20:34:10

A good post Doodle
I do remember on another thread that someone started their post with a statement in bold and I thought 'I already posted that, does no-one read my posts?'

In fact, the poster was replying to my post but used bold and not italics.
Perhaps the ^^^ do not work on everyone's devices.

phoenix Thu 23-Jan-20 20:26:34

Agree Elegran and a good post Doodle but we still have to rely on people actually reading it.

Elegran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:54:20

Those are some useful points, Doodle , the kind of thing that GNHQ could put into a page or an email on how to use the site.

Doodle Thu 23-Jan-20 19:48:22

I have been on GN a few years now. I have not found it cliquey.
My first post was on soop’s kitchen and I have been in the kitchen ever since.
What can you do to help?
A bit of guidance for new members.
1. Explain how to make names bold and how to use the smileys (I know it’s at the bottom but many don’t see that)
2. Let people know that all their posts won’t be answered. It’s not unkindness but unless you say something that really needs a reply then it is likely to be overlooked.
3. Do not introduce a problem of your own into someone else’s thread. Introducing different angles is fine but sometimes new member suddenly introduce their own problems into another thread and wonder why no one responds.
4. Advise users how to start their own threads and how to go about it
5. Explain that there are some controversial and heated threads when feelings run high.
6. As others have said, many on GN have got to know others having been long term posters. It is only natural that they chat to one another or engage with one another. It is not cliquey it’s what happens in RL. Most wont exclude someone deliberately. Also the posters who give more insight into themselves or their character tend to get more replies than those who say nothing about themselves.
That’s my two penny worth for all it’s worth. Good luck

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:39:10

Thanks Nankate I am not perfect and I did feel bad about not replying to that post.

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:33:38

Not digging and very COOL thanks very much.

NanKate Thu 23-Jan-20 19:29:42

Clearly I haven’t read all your posts Rafich and am happy to hear about your kind side. This comment is meant very genuinely.

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:26:46

Perhaps you have not read the posts, where I have been kind, where I have had private messages thanking me for advice I have given. I do not do it for thanks. I do it because I feel for the posters predicament.
I was also quite sad when I read a thread where a poster asked if she was being ignored, it took a kind Gransnetter to reply and say she hoped she had a good day. Too my shame I should have replied to her /him as well, but I got distracted.

phoenix Thu 23-Jan-20 19:25:08

Speaking as one of the first members (won a Nintendo DsXL, the first prize ever offered!) I must admit I don't post as often as I used to.

I feel that GN had lost some of its "light touch" become a bit more weighted to politics. Of course I realise that is purely down to what is posted.

NanKate Thu 23-Jan-20 19:18:31

I don’t think you are bad Rafich it’s just your continued anger to some of the comments by other posters. I would just like to hear a kindly word from you once in a while.

Elegran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:18:13

I don't think your posts on this thread will be deleted, rafichagran They seem within the definition of "robust discussion" to me, without breaking any guidelines, as are all the other posts.

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:15:21

Perhaps this might change with this one.

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:14:00

I cant be that bad Nan kate I have never had a post deleted, and even when someone did report me I was told by Gransnet I broke no rules and the post was left up.

MerylStreep Thu 23-Jan-20 19:13:42

WhyWhyWhy
It's unfortunate that your post was not acknowledged. It wasn't ignored, it probably slipped off the active list.
I did see, though that when you posted that it was the 10th anniversary of your mothers death there were 3 pages of condolences.

Elegran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:12:55

That is a part of the problem for new members, Nankate Some posters sound so angry that they put others off. I sometimes wonder whether Gransnet is used as a whipping boy for all the other things that have gone wrong in someone's life

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:10:14

Oh callistomon you really are the gift that keeps on giving. That was said in the previous post. Do you really need to parrot.

NanKate Thu 23-Jan-20 19:09:44

Why are your posts so angry Rafich ? I thought on GN we could put our varying views, we don’t all have to agree. I’ve seen you on other threads and you are equally angry there and confrontational.

Elegran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:09:05

"If someone thinks there’s a clique and they are not part of it, there’s nothing anyone else can say or do to convince them otherwise, because that’s their perception.
^ I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do about these sensitive souls Lara so stop worrying about it!"^

Stop digging, rafichagran and cool down.

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:05:47

I did read the FT, and telling "Lara" to not worry about the sensitive souls is wrong.
Like I said clearly Gransnet see a problem as 2 threads have been started about it.
Maybe you feel that cliques to not exist but other posters do, it does not mean they are paranoid.

Elegran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:05:38

Context is important. A few words repeated ad nauseam do not represent the whole of a post.

Elegran Thu 23-Jan-20 19:04:04

Then you'd better start working out how that can best be achieved, rafichagran, by a small group of admin with a lot of work on their plate and a very large and varied membership with a wide range of lifestyles, opinions and attitudes. Next time GN is advertising for staff, you could apply and make GHransnet perfect.

Callistemon Thu 23-Jan-20 19:02:03

She didn't say that rachifagran, perhaps RTFP?

rafichagran Thu 23-Jan-20 18:56:15

" Dont worry about these sensitive souls" I find that statement offensive, we should worry about everyone and see how these people who feel like this can be helped and included.

Elegran Thu 23-Jan-20 18:55:04

Read JaneA's post again, rafichagran It is at Wed 22-Jan-20 16:51:48 She did not say "not to bother about people who are sensitive souls " She described people who see cliques where none exist (this is called paranoia in the real world) and then said "If someone thinks there’s a clique and they are not part of it, there’s nothing anyone else can say or do to convince them otherwise, because that’s their perception. "

"Some people will just think “A and B obviously know each other.” Other people will think “Ooh A and B are in a clique and I’m not in it.” I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do about these sensitive souls Lara so stop worrying about it!"

worrying about IT not THEM and the THEM was a specific set of sensitive souls, not all of them.

On Mumsnet they would add RTFP. Perhaps we are TOO reticent on Gransnet?

Callistemon Thu 23-Jan-20 18:50:55

No, I'm not rachifagran

I was just saying that your post should be left to stand to speak for itself and if others read it rhey can decide what they think.

Evaluate = assess