What can we do to help?

Evaluate what Callistemon? Hoping to get a few posters to have a go at me.
Your wasting your time as its water of a ducks back to me.

I posted that " . even grandmothers don't all react like "old women" to robust discussion of serious subjects?"

This is a serious subject. It brings out some serious statements. Could we talk about them without taking offence and falling out, please? That is not helping the discussion that Lara initiated.

This exchange does demonstrate just how fast some people feel they are being attacked. JaneAinsworth was absolutely right when she said that people who are so sensitive that they feel there is a clique lined up against them cannot be helped by ANYONE else but themselves.

How do they cope with normal conversations in real life with more than two people? Does everyone else stop talking when they open their mouths?

So telling Laranot to bother about people who are sensitive souls is not disgraceful?
You know what, report me if you dont like it. I could not care less.

My post could have been worded better, I hope it is understandable.

I have always found janeainsworth to be a very sensible poster whose views are always worth reading.
Someone attacked her needlessly and her response was in response with that.

Your personal attack on janeainsworth rachifagran is disgraceful, far worse than I have seen on here.

I won't report you because other posters need to read it and evaluate.

And no, I am not in a clique with janeainsworth.

lucywinter good question!!!

I wonder if these "marketing" threads are really such a good idea. ???

Lara ignore janeainsworthshe is a ignorant woman, how dare she make that last comment about other posters and tell you not to worry about people who feel left out . She is the sort of poster that make people not want to post on Gransnet.
Gransnet is for everyone not for people who know each other or send private messages. That's exactly what they should do keep it private, and the open forum inclusive.
I work and have family so could not give a monkey's if I am ignored, but I have seen posters write they are lonely so it may affect them. Also it was sad when I read a poster on one thread ask "am I being ignored"
Gransnet are obviously concerned there is a problem and they are trying to sort it out.

One way to stop newbies feeling left as there’s been no response to their post, would be an agree/disagree button - at least then they’d know folks had at least read it.

Grandad I agree with you about the name although perhaps that would be too expensive and too late now for change.
I suppose it was female-orientated to start with, as it's connected to Mumsnet, the name of which definitely excludes Dads!

The logo shows what is presumably a grandmother, daughter (or DIL) and a granddaughter.

I know women outnumber men by 51% to 49% in the UK and about 52% to 48% worldwide so the number of male Gransnetters is nowhere near representative of grandparents and also others who may not be parents or grandparents.

How can a forum be cliquey when anyone can post on it at any time.

Also why should everyone's post have to be acknowledged by another poster? It would get very wearisome. Most people's post get no online acknowledgement most of the time. It doesn't mean it hasn't been read or it has been discarded. Quite a few people may have read it, thought 'How true' and moved on.

Yes, you do get 'conversations' between up to a dozen people on some threads,notably the political threads.

But internet froms are like everything else in life. If you want to be included, you need to take part.

I think the name could do with changing.

I've never heard of a man called gran, so it does make it seem it's just for older women.

I haven't found the site cliquey, though. People who know each other have always seemed fine with me butting in on threads.

I know some of those too elegran.

That's a really good post!!

PS I've known a few men I would label as "old women".

A name change has been suggested before, Grandad I suspect that changing the name of a site with such a large net presence would prove both extensive and expensive. All the work of establishing a brand awareness and altering all mentions of the organisation everywhere, on the site and otside it, could be too much for the admin team. I get the impression that it is quite a small team, and "Tech" seems to find it difficult even to keep up, without starting wholesale revamping.

I have tried to recruit male friends, but as soon as you mention grandparents (not even grandmothers, the reaction is "I don't want to read people boasting about their grandchildren all day"

Perhaps what is really needed is a campaign to demonstrate that members talk about ALL subjects, not just grandchildren? Geraldine ( who founded the site) was very good at that. Perhaps, also, a campaign to show that even grandmothers don't all react like "old women" to robust discussion of serious subjects?

Well said BBbevan.

I do have to wonder at the number of people who said they posted and were ignored .

Because there is no way of liking a post or showing support for a post if all I have to say is I agree then I don’t always bother . So although you might think your post was ignored it wasn’t .

I think it’s virtually impossible to answer every post with a post. So perhaps GNHQ you might reconsider some way of showing support or agreement without writing a post !

I totally agree with you Granddad and said so in the other thread it should definitely have a grandfather in the very old fashioned picture we have for an icon I d love something more up to date, after all most of us, however old are technically astute and mostly in the 21st century That picture is really naff

I dont think I could cope with a name change but we could definitely do with more men.

Having said that, we have had some 'odd' men - Frank, anyone?

As one of the few male members of this forum, I was surprised in a different thread by the amount of support that came forward when I suggested that the forum required to be more forthright in encouraging more male membership.

Having greater diversity would I believe encourage far more wide-ranging debates and in that, reduce the cliques that are undoubtedly within the forum membership.

In the above, I believe that the name of the forum should be changed to "Grandparents Net" and also a logo developed that held a picture of both a man and women of "grandparent age".

We very often witness on this forum members who state their loneliness having lost a loved one, or separated from a husband or partner after many years in a relationship. Having a larger male presence on the forum would I feel encourage those in the above situations to perhaps for the first time in many years once again to grow connections with the male gender.

I am not suggesting for one minute that the forum or any one section should in any way become a " dating site", but it could well help many in once again engaging in and developing conversations and debates with the wider male presence on the forum.

That in itself could build confidence and a new outgoing in many, and thereby help reduce loneliness.

It's so heartbreaking, isn't it Dee1012. Sending love and hugs to you xxx

whywhywhy We lost our beautiful little cat a few weeks ago, it's heartbreaking and you do miss them so much.
Big hugs from me x

Also my little best friend, my cat had to be euthanised last November. She was 20.5 years. A diabetic for 9 years and had some arthritis. I used to inject her twice a day. I miss her so much. Thank you so much for the hugs. X

I've never thought Gransnet was cliquey. In fact, a few of us almost derailed your first post Lara by starting a spoof clique of people who felt they'd somehow stalled a thread. Or indeed shut it down
New members who are unsure of themselves could be encouraged to browse through the forums to see how they develop, and what might interest them. Perhaps you already do that. I can't remember!
And reminded not under any circumstances and however inadvertently divulge personal details which could lead to their identification.

whywhywhy what a sad start to the New Year for you and your DH.
Are you new to the area? I hope you can begin make some friends in your area and gradually start to feel better.

Thank you to everyone for all the virtual hugs. The funeral was on Monday and the burial of the Ashes Tuesday. I feel worn out. Xx