What can we do to help?

So sorry whywhywhy

So sorry whywhywhy

Whywhywhy So sorry for your loss ?

So sorry I missed your post about your MIL, www and that no one responded to you. ?
Sending sincere condolences.
?

A virtual hug from me too Whywhywhy that does sound sad.

Thanks PamGeo X

Thank you for the virtual hug Ailsa43. It's so very much appreciated. X

whywhywhy what a sad way to start your year there's no hug emoji sorry ((hug))

I don't think it's cliquey either, I've been on GN for less than a year and have commented on a few posts without any aggravation (maybe I'm lucky).
I don't use GN everyday but I do think people are mainly lovely. They are observant, funny, informative, irritating, kind and helpful and some are really really amazing at remembering previous posts from some g'netters .
I'm glad I stumbled upon this forum and will continue to lurk like the old ladies on aunt Bessie's adverts when I'm not brave enough or don't have the time to stop and chat.

whywhywhy a virtual (((hug))) for you from me...

I didn't see your posts but I've been a member of thos forum for quite a long time and have only posted a few times, because mostly my posts are ignored, so I know the feeling of cliqueness, which is weird because having been a member for a long time, and mainly just reading because of the aforesaid ignoring, i feel I ''know'' most of the long term people here, yet when I do post then I'm ignored by and large it's a very odd experience...

I love the site but I have wondered just how long I will have to be here to be be "part of it"! My MIL died at the beginning of the year and I did say about it and no one replied. I felt so low and sad. I don't have any brothers or sisters or relatives or friends in the area. My husband was busy with his brother arranging the funeral. My parents have been both been dead a while. I wanted someone to just reach out a give me a virtual hug. Sorry if that sound needy. I want to be a part of something. Night night. Xx

I think oh not this again could be if a thread is a repeat of something which had been found to be rather suspect, such as whether or not onesies are appropriate wear for school.

In fact, yes, they are on Red Nose Day

affected.

I haven't found Gransnet cliquey at all. I read far more than I post but I've never felt ignored. I occasionally reply directly to someone on forums and occasionally others reply directly to something I have posted. The only thing I would change is that, again occasionally, someone will introduce a subject which others have read about before and there can sometimes appear to be attempt to close such a thread down as in 'oh no ...not this again'. The subject of the thread might be old hat to some long term members but to other members it may the first time they've had the opportu nity to share something important to them. I think that if any members aren't interested in a particular thread, however often it's been aired,they should just scroll on by. This hasn't effected me personally but I have felt it could be quite daunting to newer members if it happens to them.

I occasionally wonder how a 'clique' would be identified on GN as I find it hard to keep track of my own posts, so I doubt I would actually notice.

I've been on GN since the beginning, never changed my user name AND I've met other grans at meet ups in various places across the country, but I don't think any of my online posts could be described as exclusionary or cliquey - I would be bothered if I thought that was the case.

I don't always read the welcome threads simply because of time constraints, but I do try to be welcoming if I spot a new poster. Not sure what else is to be done really.

As I said on a previous thread if anyone joins a new club whether in reality or online it takes time to become accustomed to the people and the way the club runs. It took me at least a year to feel part of my WI.

I would recommend new posters avoid political threads as these can become very nasty and also to avoid contentious issues e.g. when I first joined I mentioned the benefits of grammar schools as was totally shot down in flames.

Another suggestion is that if at all possible meet up in reality with fellow posters from your area. I have made some lovely friends that way.

In addition try and start some new threads. I get lots of ideas from my local Radio station on call in programmes and I transfer the topics to GN.

If you like games and want to contribute you will soon become known.

The Good Morning thread kicked off by Mick most mornings is a great way to get to know folks. Just say you are a newbie and I guarantee you will be acknowledged, perhaps not every day but you won’t be ignored.

Some forums etc. have ways of identifying new posters with a badge or similar.
Elegran would get a gold medal for her sensible, easily understood posts!
I don't find the forums cliquey at all. They may be challenging but are very welcoming.

I thought it was cliquey when I first joined about 6 years ago and started posting no one spoke to me I felt insignificant ignored and felt I killed every thread dead I didn’t even look at GN for a year after the first few tries but then I came back had another go and got stuck in
Yes I admit I was over sensitive and had only ever been involved in a small local forum where everyone answered you and suddenly I was posting without anyone noticing me I didn’t realise that was normal I thought it was me
I m glad I did come back I get a lot out of the forum now, tips for TV and films, i pop into a few controversial threads occasionally make my point then disappear you don’t need to say some things more than once and I m not looking for an argument I try and help some of the problems and have made a few good virtual friends
I wouldn’t like to be without my daily visits

Life can be very lonely when you live alone and GN gives those of us who are alone or even feel alone for one reason or another to have 'our say'. Not all welcomed but that's life.

I have been posting for less than one year, so relatively new. I don’t agree, I really don’t think GN is cliquey at all.

You need to make the effort, get in and post regularly and respond to others posts. People have welcomed and responded to me ... (of course not every single post ...).

I steer away from the political threads because I find them too adversarial. And I have had my fingers burned 2/3 times by people being unpleasant, but you just have to ignore it.
Surely, we are all grown women, who have experienced love, loss, child rearing, the world of work, health challenges etc. Therefore a few snippy responses/lack of responses is not going to deter us?

My experience of GNs who are facing challenges in their health or with family members, is that the GN army of lovely women jump straight in to support ...?

To GNHQ - The only thing that might make it easier for new members is to receive a welcome email when they first join, explaining how to use the site and what to expect from the forums. If that turns out to be too long, then make it fairly brief and include a link to a page on GN with a more detailed account.

After that, I am afraid you just have to jump in and swim. That is what all of us have had to do. We may look incredibly competent and confident, but we had to learn at first, just like the little five-year-olds in a the classroom for the first time. Post often about little things to get your username into the stream, and try not to either rant or whinge about the other posters - neither will improve your relationship with them, any more than ranting and whinging at school or work improves things with other workmates or schoolmates.

It is impossible to pretend NOT to know someone when you and they have been posting for eight years or so! Inevitably you pick up their meaning faster than you do for someone you don't know so well. That isn't a clique! A clique actively reacts to a new voice by standing shoulder to shoulder and rebuffing them.

I don't know how you can avoid a new member from feeling like - well, like a new member! That is what they are.

Remember the first days at a new school? All those new people whose names you didn't know, who had lived different lives to you for five years, whose hair was done a strange way, who couldn't tie their shoelaces or fasten their own butons so you thought they were babies, or who were so fussy about what they ate that you wondered whether they would die soon from starvation? Some of them seemed to ignore you, some acted bossy, some lived near to one another and knew each other well. However, after you had met them daily for a week or two, they were your friends (or enemies!)

jane, is RL ‘ real life?’ No, but then I’ve never had the need to. Thankfully, my username reflects my surname, not my life.

quizqueen If you go to your profile, you can select whether or not you recive emails. If you want to receive some (in case you win a competition?) but not others, then go to your own email filters and choose to delete emails whose subject includes the words "has sent you a message on gransnet" You will never again have to see another private message from a Gransnet member.

I think anyone who thinks GN is clique-y is being oversensitive.
It's not patronising or unkind to say so.
You are free to disagree with me, endlessstrife, but it's actually you who is being patronising and unkind to express your disagreement in that way.