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DS’ girlfriend wanted a baby, they conceived , she ended relationship.

(17 Posts)
Laineynanna Sat 25-Jan-20 11:41:29

Has anyone experienced this ? - it’s heartbreak in our house at the prospect of little or no contact.

tanith Sat 25-Jan-20 11:55:35

If he’s the baby’s father he has rights maybe he should get some advice. I’m sorry it’s not going to be easy.

crazyH Sat 25-Jan-20 11:58:25

Don't get too upset. I'm sure the Law is there for a reason.
Good luck !!

March Sat 25-Jan-20 12:14:33

Hes the childs dad. He will get access.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 25-Jan-20 12:24:07

He will have rights if his name is on the birth certificate.

Fiachna50 Sat 25-Jan-20 12:32:05

Sadly have heard of this more than once. Grannygravy is right if he is named as the father on the birth certificate, he needs legal advice. Sorry you are in this situation.

GagaJo Sat 25-Jan-20 12:41:20

Even if he isn't, he can demand a paternity test. If he is the father, however, and this is proved, then he will be liable for child support payments.

His choices to make of course.

JuliaM Sat 25-Jan-20 12:43:35

If his name is goingon the Birth certificate he will have rights of access to the child, he will also be responsible for supporting the child financially, with payments stoped at source by his employer if needsbe.

Please dont give up hope yet, the girl is going through all sorts of changes and insecurities caused by the high surge in Pregnancy hormones, its a massive life change for her, and she could just be feeling very unsure about the whole situation rightnow, probably quite unwell too if shes badly affected by Pregnancy sickness. Its not unusual for the partner to be getting a load of verbal negativity at this stage in pregnancy.

Hithere Sat 25-Jan-20 13:59:20

Where does your son stand here? Is he supporting her during the pregnancy?

Did he want a child too - after all, he had unprotected sex and he knew the risks

Why did they break up?

How long were they togethet?

How old are they?

Do you have a good relationship with her?

Please be careful with becoming a self fulfilling prophecy- re: little to no contact with gc.

Hetty58 Sat 25-Jan-20 14:03:57

Try to remain neutral and sensible with what you say. They could get back together so avoid slagging her off!

Laineynanna Sun 09-Feb-20 13:19:02

Thank you for all the comments.
My once prospective DIL & I do / did / could , get on well ( she wants no contact with S or any of us now she has the pregnancy) . I’m a retired RGN , Plus Psych Nurse, Midwife & Health Visitor so very aware that ‘acknowledgement ’ , being on the Birth Certificate etc saves a lot of unnecessary Court intervention. GF is a well supported self employed 26yr old with 8yr old daughter we now find , similarly conceived , engaged , planned conception etc & father cut off afterwards. Her mother is a Police Inspector & used a Restraining order on previous ‘father’ who also wanted full practical involvement & financial input. Crux of it is - 1) supporting 31yr old son on anti depressants , & remaining open, positive & neutral whilst 2) my personal fear of there being a DGC I shall be driving past on my ‘elderly visits’ whom I’ll not know ,be able to love or any support to his/ her Mum. ( I have a super GParent relationship with my daughter’s two children). It’s where to ‘place ‘ these emotions isn’t it? More ‘busy ‘displacement ‘ I expect. Women’s capacity- underrated!

SirChenjin Sun 09-Feb-20 13:26:43

Can you clarify how her mother used a restraining order? The courts issue these, not the police, so I imagine he must have had representation but the courts found it appropriate to issue one? I don’t think your son needs to worry about that. Has he spoken to a solicitor? Does he have much contact with her at the moment?

eazybee Sun 09-Feb-20 13:50:00

Sadly, I had a colleague who did exactly this; conceived two children by the same man, he under the impression they were in a stable relationship, then booted him out and did everything possible to limit his access to the children. Found out years later that the father paid regular maintenance, which she did not declare, whilst claiming every concession as a single mother. He was too much of a gentleman to shop her.

SirChenjin Sun 09-Feb-20 14:21:22

I didn’t think child maintenance was included in benefit assessments?

Ilovecheese Sun 09-Feb-20 14:29:04

SirChenjin It is not now but it was until a few years ago.

SirChenjin Sun 09-Feb-20 14:33:04

I didn’t know that - I thought it wasn’t included because so many men didn’t pay on time so women continually lost out. Glad to hear it’s changed now.

Laineynanna Mon 10-Feb-20 10:36:31

Thanks everyone.