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grown up children nt treating y as an equal

(12 Posts)
Daisychain Mon 03-Feb-20 16:00:30

Hello Gransnet
I probably over reacting. However I find when I am out with my three daughters, one of the especially treats me as if I am very fragile and offers to carry my hand bag.
This upsets me as I am very fit and active. there are many similar sayings she has done. am I over reacting.

Hithere Mon 03-Feb-20 16:04:29

Have you told them there is no need, you will ask for help if needed?

Gingster Mon 03-Feb-20 16:09:28

Ah she’s just being caring and wants to look after you. Be thankful she obviously loves you so much. Have a laugh about it but go with the flow.

Bellanonna Mon 03-Feb-20 16:11:38

She sounds like a well-mannered, caring daughter. But I do know what you mean. I’d just thank her graciously and continue to say you’re fine. I think it’s nice to be cherished like that.

M0nica Mon 03-Feb-20 16:15:15

Just tell her. If DD did that she would get a (metaphorical) clip round the ear.

You could sign up for some kind of exercise class or physical activity. Tai Chi is very good, I have just returned from my over 50s Tai Chi class run in the village hall, but swimming, or a walking group and then tell your DD's that if you can manage your class you are quite capable of carrying your own handbag.

But I always prefer just to address the problems like this straight on and tell them firmly not to do it, if necessary say so again and again and again.

Gingster Mon 03-Feb-20 16:17:07

I think that’s just mean, . Laugh about it!

endlessstrife Mon 03-Feb-20 16:19:37

I suppose it depends on how old you are. If I was out with my 60 year old mum, I would be different to, say, my 85 year old mum. At either age though, you could be fit and well, or a wreck! Only you know this. I would just embrace it, but make sure you do tell them when you really need help.

ginny Mon 03-Feb-20 17:02:31

It’s nice to know they care even if it does grate a bit. I have 3 DDs and they do similar things. When we cross a road they always hold my arm and tell me to be careful. I tell them to remember it was me who taught them to cross the road.
Certainly tell them you can manage but a nice way.

Scentia Mon 03-Feb-20 17:21:25

I am only 53 and my DD will hold my arm as we cross the road, only lightly but her touch is there. I treat this just as she did at about 8 when I was just making sure I could catch her if she fell or missed a car! I find the fact my DD cares enough about me to just give me that little hand to hold if I need it very endearing. You really should be grateful OP, that you have raised such caring girls and let her carry your bags, saves you doing it!!

janeainsworth Mon 03-Feb-20 17:25:01

My DD1 and SiL came to pick me up at the station once.
SiL to DD: ‘Is your mother alright in the back there?’

Now that did make me feel like an old lady grin

Daisychain Mon 03-Feb-20 17:29:37

Thank you all for your feed-back. I will take note of everything you have said.
I suppose its just me not wanting to get old.

Daisychain Mon 03-Feb-20 17:36:26

Thank you Janeainworth, that's exactly where I am coming from. its the fact you feel invisible. Its only one of my daughters that do this continually, my other two daughters are very supportive, but they don't make me feel old.