grandchild

It’s the parents’ decision whether or when you see GC. I can’t imagine why you want him to stay longer or overnight alone unless you see the child as some sort of toy and you want to play mummy. You see him quite a lot anyway, don’t fret about what the other GPs do. It’s not a competition.

Loulelady is spot on. I also suspect you haven’t taken in the responses from your op otherwise you wouldn’t have needed urgent advice because you would have realised how utterly ridiculously your expectations are.

Your next post will be because son and dil have had enough of your behaviour and have cut back visits- if they do it’s on you I’m afraid.

You have your grandchild all day once a week and you are on here moaning about not having them overnight?!
Your DIL or son can pick up their child early or miss weeks or cancel days, as long as they have the courtesy to let you know, for pretty much any reason.
As the child gets older they are going to mix more with their peer group too, you really mustn’t get too attached your routine.
You sound incredibly entitled, even if your grandmas behaved as you are doing, you should be aware that it’s not the norm, and unless you are brilliant at keeping a lid on it around your DIL, she probably finds you very difficult.

2 is very young unless an emergency. Perhaps he has stayed with other GM with mummy there and she knows his routine well. My DGS2 is almost 2 and we have him 3 days a week but not overnight unless mummy is there. He is happy to nap for 2 hours but is still breast fed at night and first thing in the morning and looks for mummy so too soon for him.

Maddyone great comment, I think positively charging the conversation will definitely bring positive results x

maddyone you are spot on. That is exactly the right approach in my opinion.

Nope. This isn't a custody arrangement.

When your children were young, how often did they want something that EVERYBODY ELSE had? What was your response?

Yes you should say something, I would suggeest something along the lines of ‘What time do you need him home?’ and then get him there for whatever time DiL says, then give him a kiss, tell DiL what a lovely time you’ve both had, maybe add what he’s eaten, or anything he particularly enjoyed, then tell them to have a good time and leave. In other words, be positive, not negative.

"Urgent advice please
I normally have my grandchild once a week all day but just got message from dil that she wants him home early as she is going to her folks.should I say something."

What would you like to tell her?

Maybe he’s a bit young still. My grandchildren didn’t do ‘sleepovers’ at our house till they were about four, and it was the parents who asked us to have them, I wouldn’t have presumed they wanted them to sleep away from home. Now the children ask us for a sleepover.
I would think it might be best not to ask grannyornot, just enjoy the times you do see him. Probably before you know it, your son or DiL will be asking you to have him.

Who felt they had guaranteed time...

About what? You don’t have a custody arrangement. You aren’t entitled to anything beyond what your son and his wife are willing to offer you. It’s her child, not yours. The level of entitlement to this child’s time is astonishing, and I’d put a quick stop to any time with someone who they had guaranteed time with my child short of a court order.

No grannyornot, you really shouldn't x

Urgent advice please
I normally have my grandchild once a week all day but just got message from dil that she wants him home early as she is going to her folks.should I say something.

grannyornot you are definitely a granny and overnight is just sleeping anyway so focus on your weekly visits and having a great relationship with them. I'm sure things will progress over time, stop asking because I think you know the answer for now and it will just be upsetting for you x

I guess that there's no need to be away from home on any regular basis. If he sees more of his other Nana then it's perfectly normal for an occasional overnight there. I would just play it by ear, you see him regularly so I would leave it at that rather than make an issue over nothing.

Yes quite so, but I wasn't specifically referring to this thread. Its something that seems to crop up quite a bit and it has really surprised me.

It’s just a personal preference a lot of the time. I had my granddaughter once, when she was about 18 months, to give her pregnant mum a rest. It was a nightmare, not because of her, she slept beautifully, it was me!! I just couldn’t relax, and the upshot of it was, I didn’t sleep all night! Too much responsibility which we just don’t need. Love having them in the day, but absolutely not at night. We cherish our evenings and sleep. I would say just be grateful for what you have. Once a week is lovely.

Yup agree

OP wants overnight cause other gran wants overnight. Not because its happened organically or the kid asked for it or the parents would find it useful.

For that reason, she would slip pretty low down my list of people to ask if I needed or wanted an overnight babysitter.

Eglantine21,
You nailed it

I say: children are not a timeshare

If everyone’s happy then it’s win/win all round.

I think what troubles most people is the idea of a child as an emotional prop for an adult who “needs” alone time or equally troubling, not a person but a possession in which an adult must have ‘a share’.

A bit off-topic but I'm a bit surprised by the idea that a sleepover at Granny's house is not a desirable thing - comments on this and other threads. My children stayed with both sets of grandparents from a young age and all of my grandchildren stay on an occasional basis, either to give their parents a break or just because they want to. They have all started once they are no longer breastfeeding through the night. We love having them and their parents truly appreciate a little bit of a break. In fact on some occasions they have come to me for what's known as 'Granny Reset' - transient sleep problems which for some reason used to sort themselves out at Granny's house. And if we have broken nights - well, we can catch up when they go home. In our family, it's a very normal thing. Others obviously see it differently.

I would not wish to have 2 year old grandchild stay overnight. I have done a couple of times, when asked and parents were going somewhere - it's a nightmare! First time she took ages to go to sleep, then woke up about 3 am with night terrors. Nothing would comfort her and she woke the whole house - another daughter and partner were staying. Finally daughter managed to calm her down but we both had to sleep with her - one on either side in double bed - not much sleep had! Great relief when parents came back next day.

Enjoy a good night's sleep in own bed without disturbance - daytime visits are much better.

How is your relationship with the parents? Any issues in the past?

Please do not turn this into a grandma competition. You see your gc once a week which is very generous. You are very lucky to see the baby so often

Grannyornot

Be careful what you wish for, it’s unlikely a two year old will go to bed and sleep all night in a strange house, you could be up and down all night, and he could be upset.

Just be patient, when he’s a little older, he’ll probably want to stay.