Mothers Day

What a selfish woman

As she said it’s her first Mother’s Day, of course she is entitled to spend it with her own little family. I think you are being very selfish what difference does it make if it’s Saturday or Sunday that you see him?

Why are you blaming the son in law Nannan2? Why should he consider his mother in law and sister in law above his wife?

Perhaps the daughter is just using him as an excuse because she knows how her mother would react and, given the OP’s post, I can understand why.

I never spent Mothering Sunday with my mother after I left home as she lived too far away to visit for the day and my ex's mother always expected to see us as she was only about an hour's drive away. I don't think I ever had the day just with H and children as a result, but I accepted going out with my in-laws. I rarely see my own children on the day now as both live a long way away but I'm happy to receive a card and a phone call which they usually remember. I always made sure I sent my mum a card and flowers so she knew I cared. You should be grateful to have two daughters living near enough to visit at all and if one comes on the Saturday 'so what!' Like many other posters on here I think you need to adjust your priorities and accept the changes for what they are - a new family unit celebrating a special time together, yet still thinking of you and wanting to see you the day before. I always appreciate the time I spend with my children as any get together is a rare treat with the distances involved so I think you should be grateful for what you have enjoyed for so long and stop putting your own needs before theirs.

When my adult daughter was a baby my husband took us for a lovely lunch as I was a new mum on Mothering Sunday. We were away on a trip and I telephoned my own mother from a call box on the Sunday -who refused to come to the phone ( after I had waited about fifteen mins in a queue to call her) she threw a hissy fit and behaved like such a brat because I was away with my own family celebrating a Mothering Sunday of my very own. My sister told her to grow up and face the fact that I was a mother myself now and would want to have the opportunity to make the day about me. I had left a card and gift for her before we set off on our trip. She caused such a fuss and showed herself up good and proper. I think once you become a mother yourself with a new little child in the family your priorities change. Allow your daughter to enjoy her own Mothering Sunday please- I shall never forgive my own mother for being so childish 30 years ago& trying to guilt trip me for having my own special day.

Nanaan2
Why are you determined to 'blame' the son-in-law? You do seem to be making unpleasant assumptions about him.

Just be thankful that your daughters' are alive and well. This Mothering Sunday will be my second since my son's untimely death. All I wish is that he could be somewhere in the world, alive, well and happy. Enjoy your family, fortunate lady.

I've always felt it unfair to get cards and presents for mother's day, once I was a grandmother. Such a joy to see the grandchildren treating their mothers, and to hear about it afterwards.

Wow! Such a lot of angst. Let’s hope the OP’s daughter enjoys her first Mothering Sunday with her husband and baby. An early post -I think MamaCaz, suggested that the daughter might be afraid to say anything, for fear of how the OP would react-with some justification if this isn’t a spoof.
Her idea that the OP might suggest a celebration perhaps the day before would take any pressure off.
My daughters spent Mother’s Day at home-where they were the ‘Mothers’ when their children were little and celebrated with us on another day, but as they got older, they’d call in or take me out. I like to get a card, a phone call, Skype or FaceTime, but it’s not the end of the world if that doesn’t happen. It happens enough on 364 other days.

Mother’s Day is overrated. I certainly don’t expect anything much from my children, certainly not over priced cards and flowers. When it was Mothering Sunday years ago I used to pick wild flowers for my mother (when I was a child). Now she never wants anything, she knows I love her and I know my children love me. My GC make cards for their mothers which is fine.

Since my daughters became Mothers themselves. It's all about sharing , I will be going out on the Saturday before with them and my Son , and DH. And then my daughters can have Mothers Day at home being spoilt by their little daughters and be taken out for lunch with their husbands. That's a fair way of doing things surely Ceilidt, don't make a thing of it or you might be sorry , Be gracious and enjoy the Saturday with them , they will love you all the more for it ,

Hard one, she is still spending time with you on Saturday hopefully, and maybe husband doesn't have a mother to celebrate with?
My dilemma is my ex partner wants to take our 2 girls to see his mother but she's nanny and NOT the mother whereas I am so only fair I get to spend the day with them, (except they are with me nearly 24/7 anyway, I wouldn't want it any other way)

I think...you’ve lucky to have such a close and loving relationship but that of course they will want to do this alone now. Ne family unit, new mother, new traditions. There comes a time when that must happen. You and she can meet another time to celebrate, surely?

Nana2 you ve now made 15 posts to say the daughter should make some time for her mother on Mothering Sunday just let it go The daughter has already said she will be with the mum the day before what the heck is wrong with that Give it a break the daughter has just had a new baby after IVF which can be awful and she wants to spend the a Sunday with her husband and new baby but has offered the day before and the original poster will have her other daughter on Sunday
For goodness sake she has SO much

Nannan2 is projecting here. No one in their right mind would begrudge a new dad treating his partner on her very first Mother’s Day.
Only someone with no boundaries would suggest he should also cater to his mother in law who heaven forbid allow them a special day as a new little family and demand to be involved.

I fear Ceitdh is hiding under the bed.

Once my DD became a mother she became THE most important person on Mother’s Day. I have had 25 years of her undivided attention and now it is up to her DH and DS to make being a mum special to her.

Ceitdh - your question AIBU -yes. I’m sorry but I agree with everyone else who says it's your daughter's turn to enjoy Mothers Day now. You've had your lovely time with your daughter, now it's her turn to start their family traditions and enjoy their family time.

I would be pleased she had such a lovely husband. Let her enjoy her day & you continue to be the lovely Mum who helped it happen.

I so agree with you endlessstrife,! Too much pressure on special days. I always say to my children to do their own thing and I will see them when it’s suitable for all.

Yes you are being unreasonable.dont make an issue if this. Family changes. You have had many Mothers Days with your daughters and now it’s her turn. I used to think’ I’m a mother too’ while spoiling and treating g my own mother.

Maybe you could consider what we celebrate in the USA as Grandparent's Day on Sunday, September 13, 2020. Then again there may be two sets of grandparents. That is when we have lunch with one set and supper with the other.

I can’t stand all these’ special’ days. There’s so much expected of people. All the obligation and duty. I always said to my kids, that having them was my pleasure, and they’re not obliged to do anything else. Your daughter is now a mum herself. It’s her turn. Don’t turn this trivia into anything bigger, because you could find yourselves not seeing them at all in the future.

I get they had a struggle and you have helped them but maybe that is what their own Mother's day is about. Their celebratation. Try not to be hurt and rejoice in the fact she wants to do something on Saturday with you. Step back and allow them to be the lovely new family they are. I'm sure there be other times when you will all be together.

Let her enjoy it.