Mothers Day

Oh, for goodness sake, provided you have regular contact with your daughters, this is just another day. Let her and her husband celebrate that she is now a mother.

I was an only child and my mother expected me to visit her on Mothers Day, 70 miles away, but did not want to share me with her grandchildren. She ignored the fact that I was a mother myself. We got round it by having a full blown Mothers Day with my 3 kids on the Saturday and me going to her on the Sunday. This kept the peace!

She’s now a mother ( even if you paid for it, she did the hard work!!!!).
You don’t have the monopoly on your children. She deserves to Mark this occasion.

You need to count your blessings you had daughters, you should try being the mother of sons quite often we get left out. Can’t you arrange the Saturday for your day and let your daughter’s have their day with their own children. You won’t come first now they have their own children just let them have the day to themselves.

You are being selfish for all the above reasons. Are you going to forever hold over your daughter's head all that you did for her? It doesn't speak well for you.

I agree with other GNs here, Let your DD spend her Mothers Day in the way she wants. She is a Mum now, and she needs to enjoy this, her way. Just be happy for them. Many of us GN Mums haven't seen our AC for years on Mothers Day, for a variety of reasons, (me included - my AC is overseas) so you should perhaps focus more on how lucky you are, to have your DD nearby. I think you should feel be delighted that your DD wants to see you on the Saturday - and be happy for her!

Please, please - don't be upset! As a mum who gets a card sometime in that week (and doesn't grieve if it gets forgotten) - just think how lucky your daughter is to have a husband who wants to treat his wife and the mother of his child. He should be encouraged, not told he's upsetting you. Life changes, be happy for your daughter.

Agree with everyone else. Mothers Day(or Mothering Sunday), Christmas, Birthdays, etc. They are all just a day, but oh dear, on Gransnet they seem to cause no end of fuss and arguments and tears, and for what really?

From my understanding you will have your other daughter and son to celebrate with you on Mothering Sunday. The advice to broach the subject first and see your youngest on the Saturday makes good sense.

You are truly blessed to have two daughters who want to recognise Mothering Sunday and see you at this time, there are many of us with at least one son for whom it means nothing!

I have told both my daughters not to bother with Mother's Day. We are having a family meal together in April for my birthday and that will do both events.

Sorry Ceitdh, if you say anything it could ruin your relationship with your daughter. Smile (through gritted teeth if necessary) and say how thoughtful her husband is.

Since my DDs became Mums I’ve insisted Mother’s Day should be for them to spend with their families. I feel I’ve had my time and now it’s theirs. Sometimes we manage to get together over the weekend, and they always buy me cards and presents, but they are the Mums now so they should be the ones being spoiled.

My son will not be seeing me on mother's Day this year. They have a 6 month old baby and he wants their first mother's Day to be just them and he is taking then out. They are seeing me the day before and I'm seeing my daughter and her family on the actual day. I just feel so proud that my son is doing that for the mother of his child. Some mothers don't see any of their children on mothers day. You are very blessed. My eldest son died 10 years ago of cancer, I'd do anything to have him coming on the Saturday and not the Sunday. You must feel upset but try looking at how so blessed you are. You sound a lovely mum and they sound a loving family. Enjoy the weekend with your children. X

MamaCaz is right. Take her advice, and marvel that your son-in-law is spending it with his wife instead of with his mother.

I agree with the OPS who say that this is your daughters first mothers day, so her husband wants to celebrate this.

My Son takes his Wife out with their Son for Mother’s Day, things change when your children have their children. We all do our best for our children, paying for their IVF doesn’t I’m afraid doesn’t give you priority.

Her first mother's day is special and more so as it was difficult for her to get pregnant as this was an ivf baby. You have had her there every mother's day for years. Don't make her feel guilty for wanting to rejoice in being a mother herself.

How horrible it must be for your daughter for you to hold the IVF above her head to guilt her into doing the things you want her to do!

Yes you are being unreasonable.
Incidentally it is Mothering Sunday not Mother’s Day

Sorry but it is for one year! I would expect that your DD and her OH want to celebrate that they are at last parents just the three of them, what is wrong with that?
Your comment that you paid for the IVF sounds almost as if you bought and paid for the baby so expect recompense for your outlay. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but commenting about who paid for the treatment didn't need to be said - if anyone else had donated to the cause, does that mean that they would have got first dibs with the child???
Let this couple have their special first day after what must have been a gruelling ordeal for them both - at least your other daughter will be with you. There are other mothers who would love dearly to have any family at all with them - distance or bereavement may make it impossible.
You are lucky!

@rosenoir - well said.

Sorry to say this, but be careful you don't turn into my late MIL! Everyone used to tiptoe around her do things to 'please her face', but they didn't really want to be with her, and got it over with as quickly as possible. Deep down, she knew that, and she was a very unhappy woman, because she knew it was only guilt that made the family dance around. Don't be like her. Be genuinely happy for your daughter, and, by the way, you didn't pay for the baby - they made it themselves!

I read this with sadness. As a Mother we do our utmost for our children, even paying for things with no strings attached. Your daughter has just become a mother and wants to celebrate the fact with her child and husband. I am positive that as I get older and my grandchildren are born I would expect to be put second. Your daughter and her husband are right to want to celebrate their first Mothers day together and a second celebration to acknowledge me is one I would accept. Life is for living and you have celebrated many happy Mothers day with her that changing the day would be no big deal. I'm sorry if this offends any one but I feel the daughter is right.

Your daughter is now a mother herself
Let her enjoy her day as she wishes
Things change and you need to adapt
Its not all about you
See things from your daughters point of view as a new mother and be gracious.. You're now a grandmother too

FlexibleFriend Absolutely!

It’s your daughter’s special day now too.