Very quiet boy.

Awa an bile yer heid Lindaween

I agree BlueSky
It’s pretty normal teenage boy behaviour.Being harangued by Grandma into chatting isn’t something they relish.

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V3ra

That's good advice for everyone.

Got goodness' sake they are teenagers not toddlers eager to chat! Let them be if they want to be in their room on the phone or computer. You will be a lot more worried in a few years when they out at night and wonder what on earth were you fussing about.

Ha! Try saying no to a 13-year-old who ignores you and who is stronger than you. What do you do then? I've tried encouragement to get him to put the phone down, scolded him, asked him politely but nothing works. Only bribery left. I have actually given up which is sad but I know I'm fighting a losing battle.

My grandkids aged 8 and 12 are only allowed 1 hour a day on ‘tech’....and they have to ask permission...even off me when I fetch from school. No phones or screen are allowed in bedrooms....even tv’s. It’s very easy .... just say “no”

I had a wee giggle the other week when one of my friends said her grandson had learned to talk, then, when asked how old he was, she replied, ‘16’.

willa45 we have this on the wall, the children love it:

A wise old owl sat in an oak,
The more he heard, the less he spoke;
The less he spoke, the more he heard;
Why aren't we all like that wise old bird?

should have said complete sentences of more than 3 .......

My son was about 11 when he started to grunt answers. He didn’t speak much otherwise. I think it stopped when he got married aged 26, and he actually used to form complete or 4 words! Seriously though, this sounds very normal. With my kids, the boys were the ‘ movers’, the girls the ‘ speakers’.

Yes an awful lot of men don't engage in detailed conversation unless it is their interest or hobby. At 11 he may have been out of his depth with the male chat, or possibly teased, some men can't resist. I agree never ask a question that can just be answered yes or no.

Grandstands, I have a husband and two sons and I'm often baffled by the lack of detail in the conversations! The youngest is more chatty but the older one and my husband, I have no idea what the conclusions to some of their conversations are...they don't make sense

Lots of children, perhaps especially boys are not talkative at the age of 11.

Is this a new thing, or has he always been quiet? If it is new, it is probably due to pre-pubescent shyness. If he has always been quiet, then either he isn't very interested in football, or keen on all male company.

Some men don't talk - they just don't see the need. If the rest of the family are talkers, he probably doesn't see the need to say a cheep.

I once taught a pair of twins, the boy said nowt unless forced to speak, his sister had never held her tongue since she learned to speak, so he didn't need to talk!

Need to clarify the above where 'quiet' applies to unfamiliar surroundings or situations.

Being quiet shouldn't necessarily mean there's a problem if he's physically healthy, plays with other children and is otherwise content and well adjusted in school. I've also observed that people with above average intelligence tend to think more and talk less.

The poor lad may have been overwhelmed by the large crowd - I wonder if he was teased, "Cat got your tongue?" etc.

Escaping with a mobile phone makes being antisocial easier and having more comfortable bedrooms than when we were young provides a nicely appointed 'cave.'
Did anyone see the film Spring and Port Wine on telly recently? The family of six all sat together in one room - no escaping to a sparsely furnished, unheated bedroom for any of them. Not perfect as tensions arose, but so different to modern life.

My dgd is 6 and does not have an ipad or phone. No tv in the house and is allowed 1 hour cartoons daily on dad's ipad.

I used to think it was a bit harsh but dgs (as yet) has not pushed to any screens of His own.

I recently visited Tasmania to see family. It struck me that outdoor activity was much enjoyed by the youngsters with not an x box in sight. Admittedly the weather helps but it’s not just the weather, children talk to the parents and spend time together without screens when they go out. Communication and knowing how to converse is a life skill that we need to have as we grow into adulthood

I suggest you have him checked for autism, and particulary Asperger Syndrome. He may have been/be at a school where the teachers are not good at spotting that he needs attention and a diagnosis. This is not necessarily bad.

Thank you BlueSky.
Thankfully I married a very extroverted man who understands my introverted soul. He never minds if I retreat to go read.

I feel for you Summerlove I know how I would feel if I had a controlling husband who limited my time on the computer!

I was a shy child. Large groups overwhelmed me. I was always found with a book or two (still am).

Video games seem to be an extension of that now, The added bonus to that is that you can still be social while playing video games. Just not the way the older generation is used to.

I’d go with some open ended questions, but let the parents deal with as they see best.

My parents used to take my books away for an hour at a time, it was extremely painful to me and them.

I'm with Hetty58. Try googling 'open ended questions' or look at
examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-open-ended-and-closed-ended-questions.html

I'm another retired (secondary school teacher) and my concern is that such insular behaviour could lead to bullying. But I agree it could be a symptom of geing bullied.

I don’t wish to be melodramatic but have you considered that he might be being bullied or, even worse, abused in any way? Having experienced this myself as a child do you think you could coax him into a conversation. I do understand it may not be the case but as a concerned nanny perhaps you could delve a little deeper.