petunia - very pertinent post for me as OH has just died after we, as a family, took the decision not to send him to hospital for IV treatment of his chest infection. He had end-stage PD and was completely physically incapacitated and also was suffering mental torture. The hospice doctor had, on several occasions, gently tried to engage him in a discussion about what he wanted in this sort of scenario, but he resisted this.
A very difficult situation for us all; and I will never know whether we took the right decision.