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Son’s non wedding day

(90 Posts)
KVW27 Thu 30-Apr-20 07:33:18

I’m after some ideas please. One month today my lovely son and his fiancée were due to get married. Due to Coronavirus they have cancelled it and are rearranging it for next year. They live just around the corner from us, but obviously we can currently only see them from a distance and don’t know how much the situation may have changed by then. They currently have one of her friends living with them (she moved in shortly before lockdown as she could no longer live with her grandparents). This friend is due to be one of the bridesmaids. We’d like to do something for them on what would have been their wedding day and I’m looking for ideas please. When I asked my son, he said they’d got nothing planned. I was thinking of liaising with others eg our family, her family (tragically her Mum died 2 years ago) the best men, bridesmaids, ushers etc. The only things I can think of are a card (I’ve seen some suitable ones online), flowers and cheese sent through the post (my son loves cheese and they were having a cheese wedding cake), and a video with messages from different people. The latter would need to be done by someone more technically savvy than me! Thoughts please and also all other ideas gratefully received. TIA

BladeAnnie Thu 30-Apr-20 10:14:34

I'm in the same situation - DOH and I were going to Gretna on 15th May then taking 3 weeks to drive around Scotland. Obviously not happening now sad. A second marriage for us both and only our children and 2 close friends would have been there. I'm disappointed but in the grand scheme of things......Anyway I think on the day - it's just us - will cook a nice meal, crack open a bottle of champagne and toast better times ahead. For everyone - not just us x

OliveLatimer Thu 30-Apr-20 10:15:39

How about a Zoom meeting?

Mumben Thu 30-Apr-20 10:18:00

Have a look at Regency hampers they do some lovely ones which may suit the occasion x

Bluegrass Thu 30-Apr-20 10:19:58

You could have a virtual tea party to share zoom or whatever medium possible. Each participant should make a big effort. Lots of varied cakes, posh tableware, glasses and maybe a cheeky game up your sleeve too. It could be great fun and the couple could have all their tea items sent them as a gift. Any good?

Gillboo Thu 30-Apr-20 10:24:56

My son was supposed to get married last Saturday after 2 years of planning She received lots of flowers but seem to appreciate a beautiful bottle of champagne with 2 glasses and a box of cakes Her sister got us all to do videos that she strung together in an amazing video some messages heartfelt some so funny My Son bought a wedding cake cooked a meal on the day and he dressed up in an old white dress she dressed up as the groom and the baby was a pageboy and they did a funny video with the help of a few glasses of vino that had us all laughing the hard thing is just to get through the day but know there are so much worse things going on in the world and that they are safe . Hope it all goes ok

Gingergirl Thu 30-Apr-20 10:32:09

Gillboo, I think you’re right actually. It is important ...but there is worse happening. Can I ask, did you send the champagne and cakes , and where did they come from? Thanks.(or perhaps it wasn’t all together as one gift..) My delivery would be for about sixty miles away so only online..

pennykins Thu 30-Apr-20 10:35:26

I think what you are doing is great and I am sure that they will really appreciate it. You could also add a bottle of fizzy to go along with the cheese. The video would be the 'icing on the cake' so to speak and I am sure that they would be delighted by such thoughtful people in their lives.

sarahanew Thu 30-Apr-20 10:35:47

A bottle of bubbly, a take out meal and a group video chat

Marydoll Thu 30-Apr-20 10:37:17

My daughter's wedding was cancelled two days before lockdown was announced. She only found out when the venue posted on the website that they were suspending trading, before even contacting her.

As you can imagine she was devastated, organising a family video chat, was the last thing she wanted.
She did not need to be reminded that her marriage would not go ahead, so champagne etc just wasn't appropriate.
It was compounded by the fact that both the venue and insurance company refused to pay out. ?
This has happened to many couples, it's disgusting.

We even thought of having it in our garden, without any fuss, as all she wanted, was to be married, but weddings are not allowed at all for the moment.

PennyWhistle Thu 30-Apr-20 10:41:43

Why not gather everyone together on a Zoom meeting and celebrate together but remotely smile

Silverlady333 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:42:43

BladeAnnie my DOH and I were also planning to get married in Gretna Green too but on the 20th May. (both 2nd marriages too) We had planned a mini moon in the Lake district then a huge party and bbq in the summer but none of that is happening now. sad
So I guess we will be doing the same as you and your DOH.

KVW27 I think if you just sending a bottle of bubbly would be nice. Your son and future daughter in law are probably just feeling sad about the delay.

minxie Thu 30-Apr-20 10:43:53

Hi,
Some people have arranged drive bys, where everyone drives by at an allotted time, in a sort of convoy, no one stops and just waves out of the car window.

Gingergirl Thu 30-Apr-20 10:44:04

This is my dilemma too Marydoll. I don’t want to make light of the situation but perhaps acknowledge it somehow. It’s dreadful that any deposits even, will be lost. The money we gave them will all be swallowed up in the financial loss. Let’s hope they can all get married some time soon!

GoldenAge Thu 30-Apr-20 10:49:51

Do either of you have a garden with a side entrance? If so as there are only five of you you could at least meet in two 2m apart groups with a table centrally placed and a bottle of champagne on it to serve yourself - otherwise your suggestions and ideas are all good - the video especially - Yorkshire Creamery are now doing a deli box for 29.99 with several cheeses AND fruit cake - this would be lovely - their own portions of wedding cake with cheese - hope it goes well for you all.

Rivernana Thu 30-Apr-20 10:49:54

My daughter and her lovely partner were due to be married in September 2015. She fell pregnant and had our lovely granddaughter in July 2015 but then was very ill with sepsis so the wedding had to be cancelled because the venue refused to re arrange for a later date. They then booked a woodland wedding for the 6th of June this year - which has again had to be postponed. They have rebooked for the 5th of June 2021 and hopefully 'third time lucky' will see it through! We are planning to arrange a special takeaway meal for them on the 6th of June. We haven't seen them for nearly two months now because they were locked down early due to health issues. Still we speak every day and look forward to a reunion and celebration in due course. The love flows across all barriers.

NannyG123 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:51:58

Can you get family and friends to send them videos. Or perhaps you could do a gathering on zoom. With some family and friends. Hopefully everything will get sorted for the wedd ing next year

Sharnie987 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:52:00

Hi, my daughter and partner , were due to get married in may, have had to cancel and reschedule to next year. Yes it's sad but under the circumstances had to be done . I plan to order them a takeaway meal, also I got her some lovely daisy earings from crystal chain ,as a little pick me up....

KVW27 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:52:01

@Oopsadaisy3 sorry I didn’t word that very well! They were due to get married on 30th May, in a month’s time! Sorry for the confusion.

Marydoll Thu 30-Apr-20 10:52:54

We initially lost £9000! The owner of the hotel group was horrible and refused to pay anything back, despite the fact taht he suspended trading before lock down.
Eventually after threatening with bad publicity, he refunded some of it. It has been an awful time, compounded by the fact that I never even thought I would make the wedding, due to ill health. Now I am sheilding, so heaven knows what will happen now.
We are trawling through credit card receipts to try and claim that way.

The insurance was a Debenhams policy and apparently the reason the underwriters won't pay out is because the virus wasn't actually in the hotel!!!!!

KVW27 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:56:52

@OliveLatimer I like the idea of a Zoom meeting thanks. I’ve only joined in on them, not set any up myself, but this is definitely worth looking into, thank you.

ExD Thu 30-Apr-20 10:57:12

I'm sure I saw a photo in a newspaper of a couple getting married in a church with only the vicar (6 ft away) and one bridesmaid and a best man (again 6. Ft apart).
There was also a cartoon of something similar, but this was real.
What happened with Fergie and PR Andrews daughter (was it Beatrice) who was getting married earlier in the year. I wasn't very interested, but didn't they have a small " do"?

KVW27 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:58:19

@Mumben ?

KVW27 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:59:18

@Bluegrass ?

rowyn Thu 30-Apr-20 10:59:39

Re Jaylucy's message re a takeaway meal - My daughter is 40 on Saturday so the best I can think of is to buy an e voucher from Deliveroo, JustEat or similar so she and her partner can order a celebration takeaway.
Or if you have a clever techno friend you could try using Zoom and having a virtual wedding reception. But that means all participants have to have either smartphones - or camera and microphone on their laptop/desktop, I think. Others out there will know better!

4allweknow Thu 30-Apr-20 10:59:49

A luxury hamper with items you know they enjoy. Neighbours had a lovely birthday cake delivered this week, all wrapped up in cellophane and ribbons. (just like flowers). If you can all use technology, Zoom kind of thing, why not a a session with the wedding party members eg bridesmaid, bestman, parents, just to say you are all looking forward to the big event next year.