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Son’s non wedding day

(89 Posts)
KVW27 Thu 30-Apr-20 07:33:18

I’m after some ideas please. One month today my lovely son and his fiancée were due to get married. Due to Coronavirus they have cancelled it and are rearranging it for next year. They live just around the corner from us, but obviously we can currently only see them from a distance and don’t know how much the situation may have changed by then. They currently have one of her friends living with them (she moved in shortly before lockdown as she could no longer live with her grandparents). This friend is due to be one of the bridesmaids. We’d like to do something for them on what would have been their wedding day and I’m looking for ideas please. When I asked my son, he said they’d got nothing planned. I was thinking of liaising with others eg our family, her family (tragically her Mum died 2 years ago) the best men, bridesmaids, ushers etc. The only things I can think of are a card (I’ve seen some suitable ones online), flowers and cheese sent through the post (my son loves cheese and they were having a cheese wedding cake), and a video with messages from different people. The latter would need to be done by someone more technically savvy than me! Thoughts please and also all other ideas gratefully received. TIA

kittylester Thu 30-Apr-20 07:40:32

Our youngest daughter was due to go to Las Vegas to get married at Easter. We should also have had the baby while they were away! sad

We just sent a very nice bottle of champagne.

DD's older children (aged 8 and 7) organised a complete ceremony for them with key rings for rings, a set of vows and flower petals for confetti.

SueH49 Thu 30-Apr-20 07:41:09

Not sure if your circumstances would enable this but could you arrange for a local restaurant to send around a special meal for them? Also a nice bottle of wine or champagne. Although here (I'm not in the UK) we cannot eat at a restaurant many of them are open for take away or delivery of meals.

Oopsadaisy3 Thu 30-Apr-20 07:43:49

Do you mean it’s a month ago that they were due to get married?
Did you do anything for them on the actual day?
Sorry, but I don’t see why you want to celebrate something that didn’t happen a month ago.
Maybe it’s just me.

kittylester Thu 30-Apr-20 07:55:24

I think the op means 'in a month's. Or that's how I read it!

Oopsadaisy3 Thu 30-Apr-20 07:59:19

kitty I think you are right, I totally mis read the whole thing! Got up before I was properly awake......

Sunlover Thu 30-Apr-20 08:01:54

We are in the same situation. My son was getting married in Corfu in June. All postponed till 2021. So sad. Guests in difficult process of trying to get flight and hotel refunds.
We are hoping that by the wedding date restrictions may be a little less stringent and we can at least see them.
Like the idea of getting them some tasty cheese and wine. Family video sounds wonderful.

Newquay Thu 30-Apr-20 08:38:24

While I sympathise with all the weddings on hold I can’t understand why couples don’t just actually get married-with video links-at the time then have a reception later?

harrigran Thu 30-Apr-20 09:00:28

My thoughts too Newquay, you can have the legal marriage without the party.

ExD Thu 30-Apr-20 09:04:26

Were you having a church wedding, or was the ceremony to be somewhere else like hotel?

vegansrock Thu 30-Apr-20 09:16:48

I don’t think weddings at the moment are allowed full stop.

JuliaM Thu 30-Apr-20 09:28:15

I was under the impression that only essential Weddings for example where one partner is terminally ill were actually taking place at the moment? Most registrars and clergy are operating the strict self distancing rules and the registration of Births and Deaths are now being done online rather than face to face in a registry office.

FarNorth Thu 30-Apr-20 09:31:40

Perhaps new legislation would be needed, for weddings to be performed by video link.

Isn't it comparatively recent that they could be held anywhere other than a church or register office, in England?

jaylucy Thu 30-Apr-20 09:47:22

Could you arrange for a meal for them to be delivered? A lot of restaurants and pubs are now delivering meals to homes. Or even afternoon tea including a cake ?
If you belong to Facebook and your local Facebook group, you can ask for recommendations I am sure. I know that where I live, within a 10 mile radius, there are several companies, from bakeries to tea rooms that will make up a special tea and arrange to deliver it to your son. Don't forget yourself either - have a treat!

Cabbie21 Thu 30-Apr-20 09:49:31

FarNorth, other venues have been licensed for marriages in England since 1994.

Mamma7 Thu 30-Apr-20 09:50:40

Get close family and friends to send a video message on the day or compile them with some music to post on day. 💖💙

vegansrock Thu 30-Apr-20 09:51:56

Have a family Zoom party? All toast the couple, maybe someone could do a speech or some readings or play some music?

FarNorth Thu 30-Apr-20 09:53:40

Thanks, Cabbie.
That seems recent to me. smile

ctussaud Thu 30-Apr-20 09:55:33

Many pubs and restaurants are doing takeaway food now (to keep their staff in employment). Why not have the family all arrange their own takeaway meal on that night, get dressed up, and have a communal dinner meeting via Zoom?

Calendargirl Thu 30-Apr-20 10:04:01

Weddings are not allowed for the foreseeable future I understand.

cassandra264 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:04:13

Have just celebrated big birthday under lockdown. So, of course, no family/friends gathering. No holiday. No meals out.

I had a lovely birthday nevertheless. Largely because of the family Zoom party organised by my adult children along the lines that vegansrock suggests.

It made me - and them - so happy. - Perhaps it might work for the couple and you too?[smiley]

Theoddbird Thu 30-Apr-20 10:04:52

Maybe I am being thick, but why would they want to celebrate on that day? I would have thought they just want the day to pass quietly.

SkyBird Thu 30-Apr-20 10:09:31

Why not dress up in all your finery whilst observing whatever restrictions are in place at the time and give them a fun ceremony in their garden. Cake, finger food, champagne/cava/prosecco and music. Perhaps even dress OTT. Make it a day to remember.

Gingergirl Thu 30-Apr-20 10:09:52

My son and fiancée had the legal marriage booked for two weeks time and the wedding celebration (no licence to get legally married at the venue) for a few days after. It’s all cancelled and I’m told that you aren’t able to get married legally (or they would have done because that’s all they really want😞). My heart is going out to them as this has followed in from an awful and tragic year for them, in another context. Personally, I have to say that I don’t feel it’s a date to celebrate, as non of it has been possible....but I also want them to know we are thinking of them. We are both regularly use Facebook so as trivial as it sounds, I’m thinking a message in there saying we are raising a glass to them at the time, could be appropriate. They hate a lot of fuss and I’m deliberating on the idea of sending champagne...although they’ll drink it, I can’t imagine them really celebrating anything as they just feel frustrated (and worried about losing so much money...there was also a honeymoon booked ...).🤔Any suggestions as with the original poster, would be gratefully received!

Gingergirl Thu 30-Apr-20 10:12:50

*sorry for the typing errors! Feeling emotional! Could also have added, they really planned to marry a few years ago but life has been hard for them in one way and another😞-we really thought their time had come this year....feeling so sad for them...