Missing my baby granddaughter feeling hopeless

Same to you granAnnie, take care and keep well, and hopefully we will all be able to give our gorgeous children and grandchildren the biggest hug in the not too distant future?☺️xx

Good Morning. I want to thank all of you. I read all your stories and, yes (after a few days of reflection), read and listened to everyone's perspective. I have so much empathy for everyone facing similar, and much worse circumstances. I'm extraordinarily grateful for the forum affording me an opportunity to express my feelings at the time, and to have facilitated a feeling of connection in my moment of feeling quite alone. Thank you all again. The wee one is now almost cruising, and playing with the toys and books I have sent her. Much love and gratitude to you all xxx

I think the hardest part of this is the social distancing, even if you are nearby or are able in the next few days to be around them physically but unable to have a hug, or kiss your grandchild is simply very painful.
Lots of Grandparents with very young Grandchildren (toddlers) may choose not to meet up because it does cause so much distress for children who are just too young to understand. We used to have our Grandson (2yrs) every other weekend but have only seen him either on FaceTime or when he was in the car outside our house once since lockdown - (I’m in “shielding” group),he wanted a kiss when they were leaving, I was heartbroken!? The worse thing is he’s moving this week 4 hours away!???

At least some of you can face time your grandchildren or speak to them. My so dplit from his partner because of her cheating on him. Now the evil witch enabled by her father had got it into the girl's head it us unsafe not onlt to go to her dad's house but even go for a walk with him. We all kbow what the PM has said but they have manipulated her into believing the PM said the complete opposite. She does speak to daddy but someone always in the background and she can only speak for 5 mins and she is not allowed to phone me. I can't bear it much longer but i won't tske up sny of those precious minutes dady has with his daughter

Esspee yes, I think that is something we can complain about!

It is very difficult for all of us and no, it is not easier for those of us who have experienced this because we have family overseas.

However, feeling hopeless is not a good place to be in. We have to have hope.

I read MawB's posts as trying to be more positive rather than matter of fact. We have to hope that the future will be better, most of us will be reunited.

Unless we lose someone from COVID19, as so many have, then we must try not to complain.
There are families out there who will not have a happy reunion.

As a result of the double standards we have been seeing where those who make the rules feel they are above having to comply with them I would be willing to write my own rules in your situation OP as long as both households could remain safe.

I happen to be in the happy position of Alert Level 2 in New Zealand whereby we are allowed to share time with family members, which, of course, includes grandchildren.

However, for some years I lived on the opposite side of the world from my daughter and grandchildren. There were years when I didn't see babies, toddlers and older kids. There are ways to keep in contact, although less so then, and it's good to do so. I visited as often as I could but finances and caring for an elderly mother imposed limitations.

I didn't have a chance to cuddle my grandchildren during lockdown but did see them from a distance. The Youngest one (and I) found that especially hard, but it it what it is.

@granAnnie I completely relate to your post and understand your sadness at not being able to have a "normal" and usual relationship with your new and only grandbaby. I'm in the US and am single and my son and DIL and GD live 12 hours away by car, so when I visit I stay at their house. I was last there in March and currently don't have any plans to visit because of Covid. They send short videos and we speak every other week or so. She is a new person every time I see a video and I'm just sad to not be a physical part of her life right now. I know this won't be forever, but I feel the same way and I understand your ache to just hold your baby GD. Hope it helps to know you're not alone in that feeling. Hang in there! We have to focus on the ways we are able to be part of their lives until we can get a hug again!

Hi granAnnie, I am the other way round; I am in England and my daughter (only child) and two grandbabies are well up in the North of Scotland. I relate! We FaceTime a lot which helps (I always leave it to my daughter to decide when to call as I don’t want to be a nuisance). I don’t know if anyone on here has suggested this, but a friend says she films herself on her phone reading a story for her little granddaughter, and sends it to her daughter on What’s App. Her granddaughter watches it over and over, and loves it. Might help the bond a bit...big hug.

Hi just to let you know you are not alone, a very strong person my self talking to my daughter in - law this evening she was taking me through all my youngest granddaughter had done I broke down in tears, my sons children often come to stay as only half hr away have 5 grandchildren in all like many when can I give them a big hugs ??

I know how you feel. We saw my grandchildren about twice a week since lockdown but haven't seen them now for 10 weeks. The youngest is just 2. We spoke to her on video today she said 'me go Granny and Grandads house.' it broke our hearts. It's impossible to explain to such a young child why she can't come.
It's a horrible situation and at the moment I don't see an end to it.

You can be their nanny now since rules relaxed I can look after 3children but not hug my own grandchildren (it’s a ridiculous situation ) Lots of phone calls videos as 9month old granddaughter said dada got the first time .If Donald Cummings cabdrivers 260 miles when I’ll for childcare why can’t we?

This post and the replies is so sad. There is so much love on this site and everyone is feeling the same and being really supportive although MawB does sound a bit matter of fact about it all. This is an amazingly difficult time for most of us and to have like minded people we can open up to is really useful and healthy. Keep strong ( most of the time ) I have promised my grandsons such a big hug it might hurt when it is allowed !

we are all in the same boat.These threads are beyond boring.

When I returned to work after my first baby, she had spent so much time with all grandparents (who were doing some childcare) that she waved me off and couldn’t wait to be spoilt by her Nanny and grandad.

I’m on maternity leave with my second, due to return to work at the end of August and honestly my baby has massively missed out on that bond and feeling of familiarity. It makes me sad for her.

The point of this is to say the heart ache goes both ways and as nice as all the technology is, it doesn’t make up for the lack of physical contact. The positive out of all of this is that I recognise how vital and unique grandparents are to my girls and il never take that for granted.

I sent my mum a meme last week that said “I’m sick of babysitting my mums grandchildren” my way of saying you can have them as long as you like as soon as it’s allowed.

to all the grandparents missing out on cuddles from their precious grandchildren.

So hard for everyone, especially as it is taking so long to be able to lift the lockdown, and make it safe to set us free. If the Government had put the same ring of protection around Care Homes, as they are now doing around Dominic Cummings, what a difference that would have made.

I feel for you granAnnie. My granddaughter was born just before lockdown, and like you I helped a lot in the early weeks and miss her dreadfully. We all know that there are people in far worse situations than us, but it still helps to voice how we are feeling to friends. Better times will come and we'll be with our grandchildren again.

My daughter and her family are now thinking of emigrating again. They’ve thought about it before but it’s reared it’s head again during this pandemic. They are both medics and feel they’d be appreciated more and have a better work life balance in NZ. I don’t want them to go, taking their three gorgeous children with them, and leaving only our son’s child here for us to see regularly, but if they feel it’s right I don’t blame them. I certainly think doctors have a better work life balance abroad. This pandemic has brought this up again as the long shifts, and endless directives coming down from the Dept of Health have made life very difficult for them. They no longer have us to do the childcare and we can’t help them really at all ( we do some of their laundry as they’re so busy, and that’s all we can do.)

ninjalouise
I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much. It’s a difficult time isn’t it?

I understand the feeling. I want to hold my newest granddaughter, born during lockdown, and hug her big sisters. On the other hand, I have had to get used to never being able to cuddle my other grandkids who live 4,000 miles away. You can get used to anything.

As for Dominic Cummings, his excuse is that he had to go back to his family in case his child needed care. He must be a real Billy No Mates if he didn't know one person in London who would help him out.

There is not much that I can add to all the wise comments given here except to say that I feel for you, I'm in a very similar position... Stay strong, it's hard but worth it to keep them safe. There are many thousands of Lockdown babies and we will be able to tell them how much we missed them if we all stay safe

I’m confused, has Boris said it’s okay to see your family now? I don’t watch the daily briefings, too depressing.
I wouldn’t have thought he’d have said that yet.

To Katyj,
Your remark, unintended, was insensitive to all those who have children overseas. To assume parents who have already been through this when their kids originally left, are accustomed to the distance, is a fallacy.
They repeatedly suffer these feelings continuously with each and every milestone and event—when their children left, when their children had children, with every birthday/holiday and with every visit and goodbye. The truth is that as soon as they adjust, it reappears. It is an irreplaceable loss that comes and goes.
And to all those experiencing this pain from distance, my sympathies. You will get through it and there is no other way to avoid the sadness. However, there will hopefully come a time when life actually resumes to a sense of “normalcy”.

Ninjalouise sending a virtual big hug to you. It is tough and crying is better than bottling your feelings up. Are you having to self isolate?