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Can you - do you - drive?

(205 Posts)
geekesse Tue 26-May-20 12:25:21

Over the past 24 hours on GN, I’ve seen any number of women claiming they can’t drive, or don’t drive on motorways, or they are afraid of driving long distances, or that their DH does all the driving. I was quite astonished. I thought these attitudes were ancient history. Have I got the wrong impression, or is it true that older women are mostly timid drivers or don’t drive at all?

nannypiano Wed 27-May-20 15:19:54

I'm 74 and still tow a 23 foot caravan round the country.

Jaye53 Wed 27-May-20 15:19:56

Drivng has been a lifesaver for me during this awful lockdown. Im in my seventies and still want to drive as long as possible. My dog Alfy goes with me and loves cars too. Passed my test after being widdowed and never been behind a wheel although it took a few attempts to pass. Best thing I have ever done.

Bluecat Wed 27-May-20 15:29:00

Never learned to drive. Couldn't afford lessons, couldn't afford a second car or its upkeep and DH would have hogged the one we'd got. I know it sounds pathetic but I also knew what it would be like. The man is besotted by cars.

To be honest, I suppose fear has always been a reason. I had a few goes driving round empty car parks but I didn't enjoy it. The thought of driving in traffic was unappealing.

My bossy big sister passed her test and had some sort of weeping breakdown, driving to work in the rush hour. She never drove again, though she now lives in the middle of nowhere. My feisty best friend passed her test, went out for a drive and drove into a ditch. She too never drove again. I think that the truth was that they both wanted a reason to stop doing something they hated. I suppose it helped to put me off.

Maybe I should have learnt but I don't have any longing to do so. Eldest DD drives - she wasn't keen on motorways but now drives regularly on the freeway in the USA. Younger one wants to learn and get a car but, again, money is the problem.

Happygirl79 Wed 27-May-20 15:41:47

Yes I drive and have done since I was 20 years old
I couldn't have secured the posts I did to further my career without being able to drive
I find it baffling when people don't drive although I do understand some people may be nervous to do so.
The one thing I have particularly enjoyed during this lockdown is that it has made me walk more
Ive managed most days to do 10k steps whereas before I would have not achieved half of that because I would have automatically got in my car for most trips

fifeywifey Wed 27-May-20 15:53:51

I've been driving now for 50 years and love the sense of freedom and independence it brings. Like MiniMoon I have a developing cataract which does impair vision in the dark whilst driving so I tend only to drive short distances at night. It was always me who drove whilst we were on holiday abroad although I haven't hired a car whilst abroad for a few years now. I am a very bad passenger and always sneak out to the car first when we are going anywhere so that I can get in the driving seat. The day when I have to give up driving will be the day that I give up - it means that much to me.

Shandy3 Wed 27-May-20 16:23:58

I too will drive any vehicle anywhere.
Like most things.......use it or loose it!

Jennyluck Wed 27-May-20 16:54:36

I’ve been driving since I was 21, I’m 65 now. I’ve driven nearly every day, but mainly locally. Love driving on my own with my music on, full blast. But I don’t like long distance or motorway.
I love the independence it gives you, you don’t have to rely on anyone else.

Ankara2005 Wed 27-May-20 17:01:34

I drove in Tokyo in 1978 when there were no signs in anything other than Japanese characters and managed OK by landmark memories, but now find driving in Somerset on relatively quiet roads, quite disturbing as people all want to drive too fast on windy, country roads with lots of blind bends. There seems to be no thought of possible collisions!

Jillybird Wed 27-May-20 17:17:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinaf1 Wed 27-May-20 17:20:58

I drive motorways etc even the dreaded M25 can’t say I particularly love it never have , but it is a useful skill to have and gives you independence.
I do find a lot of drivers very aggressive , so from a drivers point of view have enjoyed that aspect of the lockdown.
What I have found as I have got older is that I am a nervous passenger, which I never was when I was younger would think nothing of riding pillion round London on a Lambretta.

Bijou Wed 27-May-20 17:21:13

I have never had a car of my own. My husband had a company car and wives were not allowed to drive them and we could not afford our own car. I cycled and used public transport. After he died I used taxis and public transport. When I grumbled about the cost of taxis my son said it was probably cheaper than running a car.

Fennel Wed 27-May-20 17:53:27

Bijou - good to know you're posting.
I'm probably 10 years younger than you and in my 20s we we women were just beginning to be able to assert ourselves.
I got my driving license in 1962.
I gave up driving last year - no longer a pleasure, and as one SiL said "keep death off the roads". So I realised my physical limitations sad.

Rosalyn69 Wed 27-May-20 17:58:27

I drive - reluctantly. I don’t enjoy it but where I live it’s not an option to not drive.

ChrisK Wed 27-May-20 18:44:52

I am told that I'm a confident and competent driver, we live in a semi rural area and driving is key to independence, I love driving especially if in familiar surroundings. I will drive anywhere in all conditions no worries at all

Dianehillbilly1957 Wed 27-May-20 18:54:32

I'm a coach driver, well until Covid hit! Hopefully I'll be able to get behind the wheel of a 50 seater again in the future. I know many ladies who will only drive where they know & won't tackle motorways or long drives, many younger people won't do this!

Tillypuppy Wed 27-May-20 18:59:14

I cannot drive and at 85 am too old and immobile to do so now. However from the age of 16 to 70 when the eyes began to fail I rode a moterbike. I loved every moment of it, even in winter I would not have exchanged it for a car. The mind is still willing but the body has given up on me.

mrsgreenfingers56 Wed 27-May-20 19:09:02

I always say that learning to drive is the best skill I ever learnt and love to get in my car and drive and be independent. I have come across so many ladies who have been widowed and car on the drive but never learnt and wish they had but say too late now,

geekesse Wed 27-May-20 19:09:32

I first learnt to drive in a 1955 ex US military Willey jeep in Tehran before the Iranian revolution. Apart from the U.K. and Europe, I’ve also driven in the Middle East, but the best ever was Cairo. The traffic didn’t move that fast, but it was like dodgems without poles, chaotic, full of drama and tremendous fun. For years our family car was a 15-seater minibus with the back row of seats removed to give us a lot of boot space, and we travelled to Brittany and back in it six times a year. When the last child left home, I celebrated by buying a two-seater convertible sports car. I’ll take any excuse to head off along the motorway to visit the kids or for work purposes, with radio 4 on so I have someone to argue with.

itsonlyme Wed 27-May-20 19:09:45

I have driven since I was 20. My mother lives in Scotland 240 miles away and I frequently drive there on my own. If my husband comes with me I still drive and he falls asleep.
Over the years I've driven on the Continent and would never expect my husband to do it all, as I feel that he should have a chance to relax - it's his holiday too.
I really enjoy driving and when I took early retirement, I considered becoming a courier, but we decided to buy a caravan, and again we both drive with that in tow.

Fennel Wed 27-May-20 19:11:51

Tillypuppy - good for you smile. !

Howcome Wed 27-May-20 19:25:12

I am a typical old dear - I used to drive anywhere. I now worry if I have to drive often or further than a few miles, I wouldn’t now choose to go on a Motorway. My husband does the driving I generally get the bus, I guess I’m going to have to drive to the shops post Covid.

SueDonim Wed 27-May-20 19:51:05

I think my brother will be buried with his motorbike, Tillypuppy! Not that I visualise him popping off anywhere soon, as he’s only 71 and in good health, but he adores his bikes. They have a car for family purposes but if it’s just him, it’s the bike every time. Vroom vroom!

Greeneyedgirl Wed 27-May-20 19:58:44

Driving is just a learned skill like anything else, which needs practice to maintain proficiency.

I am heartened by how many older women are confident in their driving. I used to be an observer at our local IAM group, and would feel very confined if I couldn't drive.

NfkDumpling Wed 27-May-20 20:05:52

I love driving. DD1 loves driving. DD2 has given up. She’s not a natural driver, but has lost her nerve completely and won’t get behind the wheel at all. It concerns me as living where she doesn’t life is very difficult when her husband is away.

Casdon Wed 27-May-20 20:40:29

I must admit I don’t think about driving at all, when I get in the car it’s just an extension of my body, I don’t have any opinion about actually driving. Living where I do, if I didn’t drive life would be very difficult so it’s just as well. Must admit I do like a nice car though.