Is it because I’m the youngest?

jaylucy This is true: People who put others down, do it to make themselves feel better. Your brother puts you down because he feels inadequate in some way. Rather than retaliating, why not try drawing attention to his good points? e.g. "I've always admired your parenting skills. Your children are a real credit to you!" or " You're so good at DIY, cooking, gardening, karaoke, whatever..." If nothing else, it will take the wind out of his sails!

I’m a middle child and get treated the same way. Don’t put your crafts on there, show them to your friends. My friends, very few in number but would do anything for me, love the things I make and always lift me up when I am down from family negativity and belittling. Just because you are blood relatives doesn’t always mean you even have to like them, let alone respect what they say. Just listen and join in where you feel able to. And believe you are special.

Furret is right - always call out on the racism. Never, ever let it pass as OK. It just isn't. There is nothing 'mild' about racism either.

I think everyone in a family thinks that they are hard done to. I definitely was, as the middle girl. My mother doted on my next sibling, a ‘son’
I was second hand rose. Clad in awful shapeless dresses etc from various cousins. My eldest sister doesn’t speak to me and has confessed to being jealous. Families, Eh!
I think you need to have the hide of a rhinoceros to be on a WhatsApp group.

In case anyone's busy being totally nauseated by my posts, I'm not the girl with the golden heart! ("Take my heart. I will always manage." Anyone remember that childhood story?)

The fact is, I was drafted onto a personal development course several years ago. It was financed by the Coalfields Regeneration Project in Northumberland, delivered by the Pacific Institute (created by Lou Tice, based in Chicago) and hosted by the tiny village school where I was working. Most participants were village residents (formerly a pit village where there was no longer a working pit and a high level of unemployment) and our Headteacher wanted a staff member to represent the school.

I learned so much on that course. It was excellent, liberating and so motivational. One of the things I learned was the reason (above) why people put others down. Many people also put themselves down. I bet several on here have called themselves names like stupid, idiot, fool etc. We were challenged to stop doing that as well as to question our real motives for doing it to others. If you tell yourself you're useless at something, you give yourself permission to carry on being useless, as if it can't be helped. We were encouraged to say, "I'll find out how to get better at that."

If you're interested, look up (the late) Lou Tice on Google. His story (along with his wife) is really interesting. He started from nothing. He said: "Hear other people's opinions, but know that their opinion is only an opinion. It is not the truth."

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I agree Jillybird that position in family is a strong influence but your friend, whose siblings treat her as "the baby", isn't a baby! She's a mature adult. She doesn't have to feel patronised by them. If she is more intelligent and more highly educated than they are, she needs to remember that. I bet they are well aware of the difference. That's why they put her down. It's not necessarily deliberate on their part but, knowing their reasons, your friend can come to understand and that will help her.

It says a lot about you that, despite your difficult childhood, you resist stepping in and interfering when you hear your younger sister making what you regard as mistakes.

I find it hard to tolerate racism. Sometimes people just say things without thinking though. I would have written back "I hope you aren't racist with that comment or hope you didn't really mean that" But too.late now. Don't put photos of your precious craft work up if you don't want to get hurt. You are a sensitive soul so don't set yourself up to.be hurt. Just do what crafts you want to do but do it for self satisfaction . Don't look for validation from anyone else. You sound a little insecure so work on your self esteem.