21st Birthday Money for Grandson

How do you know he is expecting a big check? Did gs tell you? His parents?

He can expect all he wants, it doesn't mean he is going to get all he wants. He will learn that sooner rather than later

I think Callistemon has suggested the brilliant solution. £100 worth of premium bonds. Kids of today are so greedy in demanding huge gifts for 18th and then again at 21. Just give what you think is acceptable and if he doesn’t like it, it’s tough. A relative of mine was 18 recently and her gifts were elaborate. I just sent her £40 because that’s all I could afford. I gave her brother a lovely bottle of aftershave last year when he was 21 which cost a little over that amount, but in lockdown I’m unable to go shopping. She thanked me for it but I expect she would’ve liked a bigger sum.

Give him whatever you gave him for his 18th. A bit of spoiling from his nana isn't going to ruin his character for life.

If you are financially comfortable giving him the same amount as you gave him for his 18 th then go ahead and do it.
TBH in our family it’s 18th that is special and then all other birthdays are ‘normal’ ones.
It’s a bit worrying that he has said that he expects a big cheque, that would make me do the exact opposite.

Agree with those saying he is an entitled brat. How come his parents haven't stepped in and called him into line? Perhaps because they've created this problem. Sorry to sound angry but if he was mine I'd be so ashamed.

I stopped buying or giving money as gifts after my grankids 18th birthday. I found that the grankids only seemed to visit around the time of their birthday or xmas time.
I did however give my older grandaughter a large cheque to go towards her wedding.

It is the expectation of a large amount which would irritate me. I would be going down the route that times are very hard nowadays and how lucky you could afford to give him £x for his 18th. and pop in a tenner in the envelope.

I remember my step daughter asking us before her 18th how much we were going to give her - took the edge of it to be honest

Well, I suppose as the only grandchild, he would be a pampered prince!
As he's already had a big cheque for his 18th, should he be expecting another for his 21st? Just maybe a bit more than usual.
My feeling would be to say that you'd be hoping to help in future if he is in a position to buy a flat, for instance.

I agree with oopsminty it’s an impossible question to answer without knowing your own financial circumstances . I have 4 DGC ranging from 14 to 2 . I would love to be able to give them more than I do but finances won’t allow. Just go with what you think . They shouldn’t equate love with £££££

how interesting.. I agree with most of the comments

How do you know?

what is big?

interesting.

The minimum number of premium bonds you can buy was reduced to 25 last year.

So you could buy him £25 worth with a card saying 'Here's hoping you receive a big fat cheque. No more presents after 21!'

He sounds like a spoult brat to me.
No-one should expect anything from anyone.
And you have already given him an 18th cheque,that would be that as far as i am concerned.

For 21st birthdays I always bought Premium Bonds £100 or whatever denomination you can afford.

How do you know that he is expecting a big cheque, Sparkling?

Sorry, "he expects a big cheque" why ?
If he had one for his 18th, I really don't see why he should expect another for his 21st! It's either or in my book!
I suggest you let him know that as he had a large donation to his fund, you don't feel that you can give him another for his 21st but may be happy to help him with something towards a car or house /flat deposit.
But I have to wonder if he actually has said that he expects a cheque or is it just that you think that the 21st is still celebrated (it hasn't really since I was that age, the only reason I had both parties is because my next door neighbour that I knew well, collapsed and died on the actual day!) A quiet chat with his parents might help.

I have 7 grandkids and all of them appreciate whatever I give them, I always receive a phone call to thank me.
I give them all £50 for their birthdays and £100 for an 18th my ex husband gives the same, they would never expect more and to be honest it would be tough luck if they did

Very few 21st birthdays are celebrated now like they used to be. 18 is the big birthday bash as parties with alcohol can be arranged. Your GS sounds utterly spoiled making his expectation of yet another big gift known. Surely his parents can tell him he is being unreasonable in expecting yet another big gift. A card and an Amazon voucher for £50 would be what he would get from me.

They really shouldn't "expect" anything more than your love.
Go with your gut and bank balance. If you are happy with your decision your family should be too.

I had the same dilemma this year with the eldest of 6 GCs I explained to him that as he had already had a larger than normal amount for his 18th, he would be getting an only slightly larger than normal sum for his 21st.

Either Or!

It's a bit unfair on parents and grandparents, isn't it, since they changed coming of age to 18 but DC and DGC somehow still expect a special celebration and present for their 21st too.

Premium Bonds? With a message "hope you win a million"!

It's tricky isn't it. I wonder what the big 18th present was. A big party?
You can't match that.
What does he need? What would he like?
Something towards travel when that becomes possible?.
Have his portrait painted by a good artist?

I bought DD a good camera for her 21st which she promptly smashed. She actually let a stranger take a picture with it of her and her friends. The stranger dropped it.

Could his parents help manage his expectations? What makes you think he expects a generous cheque? It’s pretty poor if he has made his expectations known and I’d have thought his parents might have challenged that sort of entitled behaviour.

How much did you give him for his 18th?

It's hard to say without knowing circumstances

To some, £100 would be a 'big cheque', to others £1000 might be the norm.

This sounds quite difficult, especially as he is your only Grandchild and you do stress his "expectation", so I think you might struggle because of this. And if you are going to gift him money - I wonder what HE is expecting? It's very hard to give a gift to someone if you are going to have to worry what is their acceptable figure for a 21st. So much depends on your own view and circumstances, because it's hardly a bill you are paying! I honestly think that it would be so much easier to consider a present rather than money, especially if he had a big bash for his 18th. Can you not speak to his parents and find out if there are any things that he would love to have as a gift, then you can consider your budget, make the choice and surprise him? Otherwise, and if you find out from his parents that money is your only option, it's probably best if you decide on a figure for yourself - I'm sure you'll be very generous, you're his Gran - and hope that all your kindness is really appreciated.