21st Birthday Money for Grandson

I'm not sure "expectation" should come into it. It very much depends on what you can afford to give - and what you want to give.

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Do your grandchildren cease to be your grandchildren when they turn 18? Did you stop buying for your children at 18 too? I dont understand why there is a cut off point for birthdays seems odd to me I still buy for my neices and godchildren who are mainly in their 40's with two in their early 50's

In our family we asked each young man, woman which birthday they were going to celebrate. They all chose 18.

So eighteen it was. We then stop presents altogether unless we are with them on the day. By we, I mean my sisters and our offspring.

The audacity of expecting something for his 21st.
He's not a kid anymore.
Keep your money because I'm sure he's probably 'expecting' a payout from your will.

I have 10 GCs, so birthdays come around with horrifying frequency. My system has always been £40 for "ordinary" birthdays, £100 for 18ths and £500 for 21sts---and multiplied by 10 that is quite a drain on the finances. Luckily, I now have just have three 21 sts to go and after that milestone I reckon them to be adults, so no more gifts until they marry.

Thanks everyone, I had all day in the garden yesterday, did look at all your suggestions and fell asleep in the chair.. I am giving him a cheque plus a small gift to unwrap, he wanted to go out with his friends as they all do, so like loads of people celebrations are on hold, he has worked all through the virus as an essential worker and the money will let him put it with other cash to do as he wants. after this year it will be an Amazon voucher,m as Pixie said they treat most of them as special in some way, they are not daft when you think about it. Thanks again.

Sorry, but this young man does sound a bit spoilt and indulged! if he had the "big cheque" for his 18th why should this be repeated at 21?

I feel that you should point out to him that he has had his "coming of age" gift as, essentially that was what 21st used to be but 18th now seems to be the norm. By all means treat him to something a little more special than a general birthday gift but why feel the need to match the 18th birthday gift?

I agree with previous poster, a lot of youngsters not only expect to have a big 18th and 21st birthdays but now 16th and 13th.

The idea of a premium bond as a present for a 21 year old is old fashioned in my view.

It is like giving a present to somebody but you cannot enjoy your present in a direct manner- unless you cash it.

It also doesnt make financial sense to me - no interests, it is a chance to enter a lottery for life and loses value with inflation.

May I ask what the appeal is for a premium bond? I could be missing it.

Why not investing that money in a savings so at least there are interest returned?

I would go with the Premium Bonds idea, and a message saying that, now he is a man there will be just a birthday card in future.
Just a thought. Does he do anything for your birthdays?
I only ever received birthday presents from my parents, and only inexpensive ones, but I accepted that as the norm.
For my 21st, in 1960, I received a Frank Sinatra LP and a long red umbrella. I was delighted with them both. I still have the LP -Songs for Swingin’ Lovers!

Your grandson obviously is aware of your financial situation and he's hoping you are going to be generous. This will be entirely up to you. I tend to be generous with my DGC and would be even more so if I didn't have to discuss it with my DH! We do what we can and what we feel happy with.

I agree with those who suggest premium bonds, with the proviso that they are not cashed in for x number of years. Are there any family heirlooms that you could give him as a hands on gift with the history of the item written down?

Don't worry kwest your grandchildren will appreciate whatever comes from you with love. We all give what we can afford and help in other ways.

I am shocked that this big cheque is expected.
We will not be in a position to be giving big cheques to any of our four grandchildren. We normally budget £25.00 per person for children or grandchildren and that is all we spend.
I had not thought about special birthdays. Maybe I should.

several years ago I sent card and cheque to my grandson for his 18th. Wasn't a large cheque as I do not have that sort of cash. I did not hear from him but when I checked up found he had cashed the cheque. I waited about 2 months then sent him an email and told him that I know he received it as he had cashed it and that I had expected at least a msg, I said and don't tell me you do not have my address, mobile number or email as your father has them all, i added that if he can;t be bothered to say thank you then I can't be bothered to send him anything. He never replied and he has never received anything from me since then.

Only give a big present for either 18th OR 21st not both. What they expect wouldn't make me give it

I give all my grandchildren the same with all of them getting extra for some birthdays. In ours, the extra is for when they hit the teens, turn 18, go to University, reach 21, and big occasions like marriage. You should do what is comfortable for you within your household budget. If you have other grandchildren I think it is important to treat all the same. I would explain, if needed, that he has now reached the maximum age for the biggies so that he does not expect a large amount every time.

Don't understand why he is "expecting" a big cheque, or indeed "expecting" anything at all.
Why do you feel obliged to give him a large anything?
Give him a card, and a crate of beer: thats large!!

What makes you think he is expecting "a big cheque" surely not,he has had his big Birthday at 18, as seems to be the case these days.He should be happy no matter the amount,my Grandchildren were satisfied wth the amount they were given, and would never be expecting a certain amount, your Grandson seems very spoilt.

ExD, I'm said "only grand*son*" , not only grandchild.

She may have granddaughters too, if this pattern is established it could get very costly!

Personally I would ask him what he wants. Then if his expectations are greater than what you are happy to give. You can tell him that you’ve given him some money towards what ever it is that he wanted. Either way you both win.

I gave my nephew and niece £21 each when they reached 21

Has the OP replied? I haven't seen one.
Its upsetting to have complete strangers call your GC a spoilt brat and not helpful so maybe she's blocked this post?
Sparkling, you obviously want to give the boy a cheque, but in your shoes I'd give about half the amount I gave for his 18th, and on his card I'd say now he's fully 'of age' that's the lot as far as gifts go.
If you want to, and as he's your only grand child, give him a tiny joke gift for birthday and Christmas from now on - like a wibbly wobbly glass, or a box of 'nothing' (the internet has lots of 'silly' gift ideas, just search 'silly gifts'. Things like a CD (find out his taste in music), a bottle, some mens cosmetics - about a fiver's worth, would be fine, but and STICK TO IT.
Eventually he'll get married and there'll be a wife to buy for (but only give her a fiver's worth of gift too) then the babies will follow so you can indulge your penchant for gift buying for the children, you obviously a generous person who likes giving, but please don't continue with giving money gifts to a grown man.
I hope you're not upset.

The OP no doubt hoped for and possibly "expected" responses.

They have been provided. I agree with those who have implied that not coming back to the thread is rather rude.

So, the grandson "expects" a large cheque?

Swap expects for "wants", who else remembers the old saying "And want shall be your master" (or something like that!)

He expects? That's cheeky.